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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 20:15

funky read my other posts upthread.

funkky · 30/11/2017 20:20

Just saw one or two. My Apologies!

SleightOfMind · 30/11/2017 20:20

I wish I hadn’t had mine pierced when I was a baby but it’s one of the less twattish things my DM has done.

Definitely part of the spectrum of viewing me as an object rather than a separate person though.

Pals87 · 30/11/2017 20:22

Yep, 1.32 billion abused babies living in India without complaining !

Totally skip the cultural pov, its not yours afterall.

But don’t you think, priority is to focus on baby murders in this country..?

Ear pierced babies have survived and thrived focus on those losing a chance to live!

Angelina7 · 30/11/2017 20:33

I decided not to get my daughter's done, her Dad is Arabic and basically all the baby girls in his home country have it done and they look really cute, but I think it should be my daughter's own choice, inevitably I am sure she will ask to have hers pierced at some point but I feel much better about it being her decision not mine x

Alpacaandgo · 30/11/2017 20:38

I think it's a pretty sick thing to do to a baby. Permanently altering their body and causing them pain intentionally in the name of culture or fashion. It's wrong on so many levels.

I totally judge people who do this.

DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 20:43

Clearly the point about consent and bodily autonomy has gone right over some posters heads...

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 20:45

Totally skip the cultural pov

I'm not skipping it, I don't think it's a valid defence when you're removing another human being's body autonomy

Beansonapost · 30/11/2017 20:45

So... since you're against circumcision when people you know have done or plan to do it...

What do you say to them?

Do you discuss the fact that they are removing the gift of choice from their child?

Or do they see it as something to be done... save the trouble later... I do not know any man who as an adult would willingly go have a circumcision, unless it was NEEDED. Removing the foreskin is not a necessity.

And while piercings are not a necessity... I know countless people men and women who have piercings done willingly.

And why do they circumcise at such a young age and not say when they are 5/6/7/8/9/10?

I wonder if it's the same reason people pierce babies ears? Easy to clean... manage.. less chance of infection because a child so young will not go fidgeting with either the penis or ears? And babies tend to sleep on their back... not sides. 🤷‍♀️

I get a sense on this thread of "British morality/standards" are best and the inferior cultures surely have no idea what they are doing/trauma /damage they are causing those babies. Some of you need to wind it in a bit and wonder why you have such strong disregard for other people's cultural practices... the poor savages.

And yes I agree that there are always elements of cultural practices that need criticism... like some practices in the U.K.

But why aren't you more outraged at the fact that a part of a lot of circumcision ceremonies involves the rabi putting his mouth on the penis...

IslingtonLou · 30/11/2017 20:46

I had mine done at around 5, I cried at the time but loved them, and still do now - no regrets

SilverBlood · 30/11/2017 20:52

I live in Spain, we got asked when DD was tiny why she didn't have her ears pierced. I just said we don't think it's ok to put holes in our tiny baby.
I've had the conversation with friends here. It's seen as a sign of wealth here. I find that quite funny because in the UK it's generally a more chavvy thing to do.

DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 20:55

But why aren't you more outraged at the fact that a part of a lot of circumcision ceremonies involves the rabi putting his mouth on the penis...

Who says we aren't? It is possible to care about more than one thing you know. Besides, the thread isn't about that, so it's hardly going to come up is it? Unless it's being used as a deflection tactic of course.

Beansonapost · 30/11/2017 21:02

@DeleteOrDecay this thread is more or less about body autonomy... unless I've misread.

I don't see asking this question as a "diversion tactic"... I've yet to see a thread about male circumcision and the outrage that accompanies.

I would genuinely like to know what the OPs views are, because she's on a high horse about piercings... and I bet she knows someone who has had a circumcision....

Do you see an adult circumcised penis and feel/think outrage towards his parents for denying him the ability to make that decision himself?

I'm pretty sure more people mutilate male genitalia here in the U.K. than they do ear piercings on babies...

QueenUnicorn · 30/11/2017 21:03

So many people feeling sorry for the "poor babies" yet not one of these grown up "poor babies" actually cares now
Because the adults are not in pain?
Babies do care, as the video shows the baby was in shock, pain and distress. Babies have feelings, just because they wont remember as an adult doesn't mean we can do as we please to them. :(

chocolatefudgecake157 · 30/11/2017 21:11

My father is from the Middle East. My sister and I had our ears pierced while on holiday over there. I was two, my sis was 6 months. My mum wasn't thrilled but felt some degree of family pressure.

They used tiny gold studs that we wore until we were 11/12. We never ever encountered any problems with infection or soreness.

Somewhat surprisingly, we've both grown into happy, well-adjusted individuals with families of our own. I'm a lawyer and my sister is a teacher.

Victims of abuse? No

I really cannot find it in me to feel any anger over lack of consent.

If we'd hated wearing earrings as teenagers/adults, there would have been nothing stopping us letting the holes close up.

Save your anger for victims of FGM

DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 21:17

I've yet to see a thread about male circumcision and the outrage that accompanies.

Make one then? It's not difficult. Anyone can do it.

QueenUnicorn · 30/11/2017 21:17

I'm sure everyone has grown up OK but it doesn't change the fact that a baby was put through pain to wear jewelry. Babies don't deserve that.

Username7654321 · 30/11/2017 21:19

I'm pretty sure you can guess my views on circumcision?!
But in answer to your question - I know of two people who are circumcised. One is my father, who had to have it done last year. He was receiving estrogen therapy for prostate cancer and it caused some problems for him, therefore medically necessary. The other was my EXDP who had it done at 7 due to medical necessity. Other than that I am an atheist, as are many of my close friends. I know people of other religions who may or may not be circumcised, but none whom the topic of their penis has ever arisen. If it ever did come up for debate I would be as vocal as I am on here about it - unless medically reasoned, I think cutting the skin off a babies penis is barbaric. And yes, the rabbi using his mouth is certainly borderline abusive too. I don't buy any bullshit about "because religion/culture/it's happened for millennia".

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 21:19

No one answered my question earlier. It wouldn't be acceptable to pierce an adults ears without consent, so why is it ok to do it to a baby?

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 21:22

*I would genuinely like to know what the OPs views are, because she's on a high horse about piercings... and I bet she knows someone who has had a circumcision....

Do you see an adult circumcised penis and feel/think outrage towards his parents for denying him the ability to make that decision himself?*

Not the OP but I am equally appalled that circumcision is allowed as a "cultural norm".

I have only known one person who was circumcised, and that was done for medical reasons.

It left us with quite a conundrum when we were having a baby as 3 generations of males in ex-H's family had the same condition which required circumcision. Ex-H was done at 3 and remembers it (as an incredibly traumatic event). Had we had a boy we would have had to decide whether to have it done at birth (pre-emptively) or wait and see.

Fortunately we had a girl and therefore no mutilation required!

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 21:23

Save your anger for victims of FGM

I don't know about you but I don't have a limit on the number of things I can get angry about

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 21:27

Gosh that sounds awfully tiring Jaques

chocolatefudgecake157 · 30/11/2017 21:28
Grin
bea179 · 30/11/2017 21:31

I'm with you OP and I have a few piercings myself. Interestingly, the place where I had my last few piercings done won't pierce anyone under the age of 16, even with parental permission. Ears or otherwise.

Aweektilltheseason · 30/11/2017 21:31

Saves the effort of... Having to have it done?? Who has to have it done? I don't!