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AIBU?

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Original poster

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 17:58

Usually it is done for cultural reasons. I always find it quite offensive that a person from one culture would question the cultural norms of another in this manner.

By that logic we should turn a blind eye to fgm then.

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 17:58

I always find it quite offensive that a person from one culture would question the cultural norms of another in this manner.

I find it more offensive when some people think the law of their country does not apply to them! (I refer to illegal practices still happening to girls in this very country)

I can't see what's offensive in questioning any practice who mutilates, hurts, assault, or is morally wrong because it's happening somewhere else!

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 18:01

Are you really equating ear piercing and FGM? Isn't that a bit like loosing the argument when you mention the Nazis?

NickersNackersNoodles · 30/11/2017 18:03

Some believe piercing the bottom of your ear will help with sight and with brain function. Some get their Daith pierced to help with migraines. I didn't agree with baby ear piercing until I became a reflexologist and did Auricular Reflexology (look it up it's really interesting). I wouldn't allow any other piercings for a child.

Morphene · 30/11/2017 18:05

whatamI it was the professional opinion of the doctors at the time that the cause of the infection in my heart was the piercing. The infection left permanent damage to my heart valve (which excitingly puts me at even higher risk of recurrence).

The medical advice NOW is that people with my pre-existing condition should not have either piercings or tattoos....which is all fine and dandy but the majority of people with my condition do not know they have it till later in life.

My reaction to piercing was obviously on the extreme end but people regularly have problems, from infections up to far more serious reactions even than mine, including anaphylaxis. Every single one of those is more dangerous to babies than to adults. If there was a tangible benefit to piercing then it might be possible for the risks to be worth it. But there isn't - so I simply don't understand why anyone would take them.

Esspee · 30/11/2017 18:05

Your child is perfect. Why would you want to pierce a hole in their body to hang decorations from? What if the child grows up to believe that you have disfigured them?
Personally I think children wearing earrings is tacky. So lower class. If an adult wants to do it to themselves then that is their decisions but how can any parent think the decision is their's to make?

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 18:08

BarbarianMum
When someone tries to play the "it's cultural therefore acceptable", yes I am. It's a bloody dangerous step to say that we have to accept the unacceptable because it's "cultural!"> What's next?

I have given my arguments to explain why I think it's absolutely wrong.
I haven't read any argument yet to explain why it would be "right".
So far, we have it's "cultural, it could be worst, children don't remember the pain". Still waiting for any benefit whatsoever.

Morphene · 30/11/2017 18:08

How can you be a trained reflexologist?

More importantly WHY would you train to do something about which it is know: "There is no convincing evidence that reflexology is effective for any medical condition"

I mean wouldn't taking up a musical instrument be more rewarding?

cheekstime · 30/11/2017 18:08

I think its abusive because the child cannot consent. mine were done at a very young age and I think the act is disgusting

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 18:10

As I said pages ago, culture is a terrible justification for an individual. Look at the things that are done in the name of culture.

Just because one thing is a lot more mild than another doesn't make it ok.

cheekstime · 30/11/2017 18:10

objectifying and ridiculous. peace.

00alwaysbusymum · 30/11/2017 18:11

Seriously people get a grip - this isn't abuse, it isn't 'lower class'

It's is often acceptable / normal in other cultures

It is not comparable to FGM

I don't judge other parents who feed their kids crap , or do controlled crying etc because it really isn't my business

DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 18:11

Are you really equating ear piercing and FGM? Isn't that a bit like loosing the argument when you mention the Nazis?

No of course I'm not. What I'm saying is that if it's offensive to question another cultures norms (according to some) then surely that applies to everything, from ear piercing right through to female circumcision. You can't pick and choose what cultural norm is 'offensive' to comment on.

Pinklady1982 · 30/11/2017 18:12

I really don’t get why anyone would pierce any part of their baby/child, they should be old enough to make the make the decision for themselves. I remember how sore my ears were when I wanted them done at 7, it blummin stung, and for days afterwards. Why on earth would you do that to your baby!?!! I just don’t get it, and will never think it’s ok. Purely selfish...

Beansonapost · 30/11/2017 18:15

See this is still going strong...

Why do some people circumcise and others don't? ... poor babies!

Having a son myself I couldn't imagine mutilating his genitals... yet this is widely accepted practice and a decision parents make for their children. It's not medical... and not for hygiene. So WHY? When you know it will hurt!

I've seen whole events are the genital mutilation of an innocent baby. WHY?

Are these chavy behaviours or just culture /religion?

If you're against FGM and ear piercings are you also against cutting a boys foreskin off?

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 18:17

"It's not lower class" - that's true, I forgot that Prince George and princess Charlotte had theirs done at 3 months old.......

QueenUnicorn · 30/11/2017 18:17

And no one can say ear piercings are abuse
But why though?
Just because a baby wont remember? They still felt it though. :(

00alwaysbusymum · 30/11/2017 18:17

But does it hurt when they are babies ? My daughter didn't cry and she was two. She did however cry when she had her vaccinations and almost every night I wash her teeth !

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 18:20

00 - the hurting is one thing. But thanks to your actions, your daughter will always have marks on her ears. She might love wearing earrings and not mind at all. Or, as some people do, she might wish you hadn't done it.

If she ever asks you why you chose to do it to her when she was too little to understand, what would your answer be?

Maireadplastic · 30/11/2017 18:31

Lots of girls get their ears pierced at 7, or 10....or 12... Why is that okay then but not when they're babies?

(Oh, and circumcision had been shown to stop the spread of some STDs)

TimeforCupcakes · 30/11/2017 18:33

It's not ok to pierce your baby's ears imo as they cannot consent, pretty much like circumcision for non-medical reasons

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 18:34

It's is often acceptable / normal in other cultures

And? Hiding behind culture is a rotten justification for permanently scarring an infant.

Lots of girls get their ears pierced at 7, or 10....or 12... Why is that okay then but not when they're babies?

Is that a serious question?

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 18:35

Mairead - you can't equate a 12 year old with a 12 week old in terms of decision making!

libbyb · 30/11/2017 18:37

Your body is your body - give your child the same ownership. I decided to have my ears pierced on my 30th Birthday. My youngest daughter is 18 and we are going to have hers done and choose earrings for Christmas - her choice. Had she decided earlier that she wanted this we would have gone earlier. I am not against ear piercing, but if it is to your child's body, for adornment, then let your child decide what to do to their OWN body!

DeleteOrDecay · 30/11/2017 18:39

If you're against FGM and ear piercings are you also against cutting a boys foreskin off?

Yes. Unless for genuine medical reasons obviously.

But does it hurt when they are babies ?
Of course it bloody hurts babies! Did you not see the video posted upthread? Ridiculous to even question it. Babies feel pain just like anyone else, they're not magic creatures.

Lots of girls get their ears pierced at 7, or 10....or 12... Why is that okay then but not when they're babies?

Seriously? You can't see the difference between a baby who can't say no, who doesn't understand what's happening when someone shoves a needle and a piece of metal into their anatomy, and a 7-12year old who has the capacity to ask for what they want, can speak up if they change their mind at the last minute, is capable of making an informed choice and understanding what the procedure entails and how to care for them properly afterwards.

You genuinely don't see the difference here?