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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For those who pierce their baby's ears...

645 replies

Username7654321 · 29/11/2017 16:47

Would you see it as okay to pierce their nose? Eyebrow? Tongue? Why is it okay to stab a needle through the ear lobe, when presumably most people would be horrified by any other piercing on a baby?!

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 15:47

What about the fact that the overwhelming number of women and girls who had their ears pierced as babies have no issue with it at all coddi? I mean you'd think more of us, wouldn't you?

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 15:48

At least pro and anti-vaxers have the same goal: the very best interest of the child. They don't agree on what it is, and what are the real risks between the 2 choices.

It's impossible to get someone pro-baby mutilation to justify their choice, other than: it's minor, fashionable etc..
What happens if you delay until the child is old enough and mature to make decision about his own body? You run the risk that s/he will refuse to have it done?

Original poster

Username7654321 · 30/11/2017 15:50

BarbarianMum - they have no issue with it because (thankfully) they don't remember it. But that doesn't take away from the fact that pain was inflicted on an non-consenting baby. Gosh plenty of unthinkable things could be done and a baby wouldn't remember them as biologically memories cannot form under 18-24 months of age. This doesn't make it okay.

OP posts:

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 15:52

Barbarian - but does the fact that you grew up not minding that you'd had it done make it ok to do it to another child who isn't old enough to consent? what's the problem with waiting until they are old enough to choose?

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 15:53

BarbarianMum
why can't you wait until they can decide by themselves then? Why do you inflict pain without consent, run the risk of infections etc? It's for you, not for the baby?

Because of this thread, I've just realised that none of the little girls (or boys) in my 2 primary school kids wear earrings. None. Bog standard suburby London school, nothing special there. They seem to be doing just fine.

HappyLollipop · 30/11/2017 15:55

As always the jugdy middle class shitting on other cultures they don't know about as usual

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 15:56

Says happylollipop, comfortably judging other posters as middle class and judgy. What else would you justify in the name of culture?!

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 15:56

You know, that it's barbaric to stick a needle in your baby because that's what you want...

Well no, I don't "stick a needle" in my baby there is the potential she could catch a communicable disease and at best be very sick. At worst die.

Now let's say I don't stick a needle in my baby's ears - what's the risk...?

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2017 15:57

As always the jugdy middle class shitting on other cultures they don't know about as usual

Oh dear. I KNOW that in some cultures, piercing a baby's ears has significance. We shouldn't hide behind culture and not call things out that are cruel

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 16:00

I think if it were really that significant, life-changing a decision we wouldn't let 8 year olds make it. The fact most people on here would be happy for an 8 year old to consent suggests that its not really a big deal.

I slept through my gran piercing my ears apparently. My sister was most disappointed.

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 16:04

BarbarianMum

and what were the benefits for you? You still haven't told us...

Lovely22 · 30/11/2017 16:08

I had my ears pierced as a baby doesn't bother me at all and certainly hasn't scarred me for life.
My friend had hers as a baby and is thankful as shes not very good with pain usually so is glad she didnt have to go through it as an adult as she likes them pierced.

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 16:13

-I think they look pretty (shallow I know but this is kind of the point).

-There was no infection because I was a newborn and my mum looked after them.

-The pain was minimal (I slept through) unlike the second lot of piercings I wanted age 11 (these got infected too).
-Family tradition. I love the fact that they were done by my gran, just like my sister and my cousins. I still have the first tiny sleepers she gave me.
-Being part of the cultural tradition of the village.

So nothing really major (no superpowers or anything) but like I said, I don't think it a big deal.

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 16:15

is thankful as shes not very good with pain usually so is glad she didnt have to go through it as an adult

but as an adult you would be happy to inflict the pain you can't bear yourself to your own baby?

MissBax · 30/11/2017 16:18

but as an adult you would be happy to inflict the pain you can't bear yourself to your own baby?

^ EXACTLY

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 16:23

Why was your sister disappointed that you slept through? Was she expecting it to hurt and for you to scream?

BarbarianMum · 30/11/2017 16:31

Knowing my sister, I expect she was hoping for a little more drama, yes. Maybe not screaming but some kind of reaction. She'd been patiently waiting for a little sister to play with for many years then this boring, sleepy baby thing came along.

According to my gran the babies rarely cried. Maybe our family have very insensitive earlobes?

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 16:33

Or maybe your gran was actually pretty good at it and didn't hurt much. I do remember that one of mine barely hurt (the other was a mess but luckily it was the second or I'd still be lopsided!).

Pantah630 · 30/11/2017 16:33

Both my DM and DA had their ears pierced as babies for cultural, evil eye reasons They both hated it, always getting caught when hair was brushed, etc.. they stopped wearing them around the age of 11 and haven't since. Unsurprisingly I don't have mine done, I wanted them done when I was a young teenager but wasn't allowed. I'm pretty grateful my DM put her foot down, despite being in a snit for whole weeks. When I was old enough to get them done, I couldn't be arsed, at 47 that's unlikely to change now.

littlepoppett · 30/11/2017 16:34

I second it looks so tacky. Also why oh why would you cause your child unnecessary pain for no reason??? Even if it is for ‘a short while’
I would be scared the child would rip them out by accident too (mainly hoops).

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 30/11/2017 16:36

As always the jugdy middle class shitting on other cultures they don't know about as usual

she says as she judges middle class persons. Culture my arse, it is tacky and nasty and cruel.

HotelEuphoria · 30/11/2017 16:38

Until a child is old enough to make a decision themselves then any kind of elected mutilation is assault.

Lovely22 · 30/11/2017 16:43

Coddi what are you talking about, I am sharing my experience and my own friends experience, I have never said I have pierced my babies ears dont make up lies.

Rebeccaslicker · 30/11/2017 16:46

Assault is threatened physical violence; battery is actual physical violence. Arguably piercing without consent is both, unless the child isn't even old enough to know to feel fear at the sight of the needle/gun, in which case it might just be battery.

coddiwomple · 30/11/2017 16:47

Lovely22
and I am replying to your experience and your friend's experience.
Replace my "you" by "people" if it makes you feel better, it doesn't change my answer.

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