To not want to justify to waiting staff why I couldn't finish my food

[Dancergirl]

Whilst I really enjoy food, I have quite a small appetite and often find restaurant and cafe portions too big.

When the waiting staff clear the plates, they sometimes look surprised that I've left some food or make some sarky comment. Feels a bit like a child being told off for not eating their meal!

AIBU to find this really annoying? I usually just say I enjoyed it but it was too much for me but I'd rather not have to say anything at all! I paid for the meal so it's up to me how much I eat surely?

Sometimes they are checking that you weren't dissatisfied with the meal. Some people won't complain at the time then post scathing stuff online.
Ask for a smaller portion or order a starter or side instead of a main?

Do they ask out of concern that there was an issue with the meal?

That's a good point wolfie I didn't think of that.

tired it varies. But if it's a quality issue, just a simple 'was everything ok?' would suffice. Rather than sarky comments or questioning looks.

I sgeee it’s not so bad in a restaurant but we once stopped in a hotel that despite being asked not to served huge portions and then
Kept asking loudly if me and dds didn’t like it/had already eaten/ etc.

Drove us potty. Never went back.

It’s just rude op and agree annoying.

It’s not to check you enjoyed it either as all staff ask you mid meal so you can’t refuse to pay at the end by saying it was crap.

Make a sarky comment?! Really?! I find that very hard to believe. If waiting staff are rude to you complain to management or don’t go back. I rarely clear a plate when out and have never had any kind of ‘sarky’ comment.

What sort of comments are you getting? This seems odd. I've often left food and the only comments are along the lines of what Wolf suggested, making sure there wasn't a problem. The one time there was, the manager was called and the meal wasn't charged for.

I think you might be reading too much into it?

I think you need to change the places you're eating! I'm a tiny person with a very small appetite, and often leave food in restaurants (especially Italian, if it's pasta, ye gods!). I'm usually asked "Was it OK?" and reply yes, it was fine, but I just can't eat that much. Once it was said with genuine concern!

But I've never had snarky comments or "off" glances, or not that I've noticed. Maybe I'm too self-obsessed. :)

I never finish a meal. I’ve never been scolded for it, but am always asked if it was all ok.

Ask for a doggie bag then they'll know you enjoyed the food and more importantly, there won't be any food wasted.
If I see that a restaurant portion is clearly too large for me I divide it in two before I start eating so the uneaten portion stays 'clean' and I can take it home.

Thy are probably just checking that everything was okay with the meal.

Maybe ask for a smaller portion next time to avoid wasting the food?!

Very curious to know what kinds of sarky comments they are making considering it must be a very common thing for restaurant staff to com across.

What's an example of a comment they make? Here, the wait staff would definitely ask if you didn't like your meal if you left a lot behind.

Then don't. Just ignore them and carry on your conversation.

I often leave food on my plate. It's my business but the reasons are usually that a) I don't like whatever it is and I'll leave all of that element or b) it didn't taste as I expected or to my liking so I'll leave it.

I'm quite happy to say, if questioned, "The food was fine (if it was), thank you" and leave it at that. It's sufficient feedback for the chef. Because if there was something wrong with it, I would have told the waiting staff beforehand. That's what they're there for.

They have to ask.
Lots of people would leave some food, say nothing and then go and write a damaging shitty review.
Lots of people also lick the plate clean and then whine that they didn’t like the food and want a free meal. Ever worked with the general public OP? If minimum wage staff are asking you a question of any kind, it’s because they have to, not because they relish getting sneered at by the public.

I often leave a lot behind me in restaurants and cafes. The only things that are ever said to me is checking that it was ok or do I want it packed to be taken away. What comments do they make?

I encounter the same, OP. It's rude.

Ask for a smaller portion or order a starter or side instead of a main?

I don't want a starter or side; I want the main that I ordered. If I'm happy to pay for more than I know I'll eat, there shouldn't be an issue.

Ask for a doggie bag then they'll know you enjoyed the food and more importantly, there won't be any food wasted.

Nope. I don't want to take my food home.

It's hard to explain. It's more the manner than what was said. 'You didn't like it?' said incredulously and like they're offended. A simple 'was everything ok?' is enough!

If you knew you had a small appetite wouldn't you ask for a smaller portion of the main?

I really hate wasting food.

I get this, it's annoying. The raised eyebrow, little comments. Every single time I'm in England. I live elsewhere in Europe and the portions in the UK are huge, way too big for me. Recently when visiting I ordered a child's portion, that worked well.

If you knew you had a small appetite wouldn't you ask for a smaller portion of the main?

The majority of places I go don't do a smaller portion.

Good practice is to ask whether a customer is dissatisfied if they have left a significant proportion of their meal

A lot of places will do a smaller portion if you ask and let them know you are still happy to pay for the full portion, you just don't want to waste food.

The majority of places I go don't do a smaller portion

Yes. Plus if you're eating at somewhere new, you don't know how big the portions are going to be!

Better practice would be just to ask if everything was ok in a neutral voice and on hearing that it is, take the plate and go.

never had sarky comments or questioning looks - just concern I might not have enjoyed my meal