To not want to justify to waiting staff why I couldn't finish my food

[Dancergirl]

Whilst I really enjoy food, I have quite a small appetite and often find restaurant and cafe portions too big.

When the waiting staff clear the plates, they sometimes look surprised that I've left some food or make some sarky comment. Feels a bit like a child being told off for not eating their meal!

AIBU to find this really annoying? I usually just say I enjoyed it but it was too much for me but I'd rather not have to say anything at all! I paid for the meal so it's up to me how much I eat surely?

Actually, I would find it remiss if the waiting staff didn't comment or check everything was OK!

I used to have this problem, so I would ask if I could order from the child's menu if they had stuff that was better than the usual nuggets etc...
Sometimes places have smaller portions advertised for pensioners too.

Usually I just get the was it ok type the only time I’ve ever been (quite literally interrogated!) was a hotel and I then felt I had to explain yes it was fine but actually I’m pregnant and just not feeling great (now wouldn’t feel so pressured have to say) whereupon was met with oh you’re eating for 2 now you know you should have more.

You're the customer and you don't have to explain yourself. Your (reasonable) response begins and ends with "It was fine, thank you" and leave it at that, carry on your conversation with whomever you were talking to.

That is just rude of waiting staff if they question you and you don't have to engage with that.

I think its probably a bit of a double-whammy - they are concerned you didnt like the food and will spread bad feedback about the place to your friends and/or online AND it looks bad to the other diners to see someone leaving a huge amount of food, they may see it and think "well mine seemed fine but clearly THAT meal was awful, maybe we'll go somewhere else next time".

You must be leaving quite a substantial amount of the meal behind to get comments every time, the only time I've had that comment is when then feed was actually almost inedible (a korma that must have been 1/4 sugar).

I think you are being over sensitive, because you are conscious of it. They are just checking the food was OK and you didn't leave it because there was something wrong with it.

Some people will leave bad feedback whether or not they ate all their food or enjoyed it or not - in the hope of getting a freebie or discount or just because they can.

There's nothing to stop that type of person leaving bad feedback even if they get a discount or free meal or whatever.

Sign of the times, I guess.

The pub I work in serves food (cheap pub grub) and people often feel the need to justify why they haven't eaten their full plate. I genuinely couldn't get less it's getting bunged in the bin regardless. Plus the food isn't exactly gourmet..

Are they just being poliye, chatty trying to see if there was a problem and maybe your insecurities are clouding it?

My MIL is infamous for this kind of stealth boast.

I am also a small eater and often get the shocked 'Was everything all right for you Madam?' I either say it was lovely but I'm not a big eater or tell them if something was wrong. I have never felt people were snarky or judgy but I do sometimes feel embarrassed about how much I have wasted. Nowadays I try to opt for lighter choices or just have sides and starters, or ask for a takeaway box (Pizza Express leftovers for breakfast- yum). In a couple of local places where I am known I ask for a half size portion. I am happy to pay the full price for it and know I won't be wasting what to me might be an entire meal.

I have a small appetite, and definitely don't like a plate piled high with food, so when ordering something will always ask if I can't finish it, is it possible to pack up what's left (if it's a lot). Never a problem.

I rarely re-use what they pack up, but it saves everyone lots of questions and explanations, and everyone is happy.

But I try as far as possible to use places like tapas, mezze and the like, that usually gets around the problem, everyone is sharing everything, rarely anything left!

I dislike it when I've had a poor meal and the waiting staff don't ask me why I've left the majority of the meal.

They should just ask in a simple 'was everything ok' & leave it there.

The manner in which the 'sarky' comment was said might be a simple case of a member of staff being inexperienced, or perhaps their first language is not English. They are only trying to make sure that you aren't dissatisfied with the meal.

I wouldn't reading anything else into it at all.

Chewbacca then I think you're doing the waiting service (and the chef) a disservice. I've never been out for a meal anywhere where waiting staff haven't popped over after a few minutes to check if everything's ok. That is the time that I would tell them if it isn't.

If I'd find something that I didn't like after they'd been over then I'd call them back and mention it. I've never had anybody be anything other than helpful on those very few occasions.

If you're leaving it until the end of the meal then not only can they not put it right for you there and then, they're running the risk of you damaging their reputation to others because you're dissatisfied.

I've got a good appetite but sometimes (not often) I can't finish my main course if say I've had a starter. If I've enjoyed my meal I usually do say something like I just couldn't manage it all but it was really nice. It's fair enough for restaurants and cafes to want feedback from customers.

A lot of places will do a smaller portion if you ask and let them know you are still happy to pay for the full portion, you just don't want to waste food.

If they're doing me a smaller portion, am I fuck paying for a regular size! They adjust the cost or I get the full meal and some gets chucked.

I think a good waiter would check you enjoyed your meal if you left a large amount. If there was a problem the manager may even offer a refund or something. But if you say you just couldn't eat it all them they certainly shouldn't say something even slightly rude. That is very poor customer service.
If you are in a place where food is cooked to order and its something that can be easily done as a smaller meal then I would ask. Obviously quite a few things come in set sizes but some things are easy to give a smaller portion.

lying I've never been out for a meal anywhere where waiting staff haven't popped over after a few minutes to check if everything's ok.

Really, never? In my experience it happens 2/3 of the time.

Yes. Plus if you're eating at somewhere new, you don't know how big the portions are going to be!

A glance at other tables is an indicator

I would say the food was fine ,the intrusive questions not so much.

Stand up for yourself if your regular they won't do it again

Chewbacca, yep, they usually wait until I have something in my mouth before asking too!

Seriously though, if you have a bad meal why would you not just tell them? I'm sure that they'd rather you did that and were happy and then came back again with repeat business.