Can I just give cash to DD for Xmas

[insomniac123]

DD who is 17 eldest of 4 wants a Mac Book for Christmas, she has told me firstly she won't be happy with anything else ( I know the face she pulls and attitude she gets if she doesn't get what she wants) and secondly that I should buy less for her siblings so she get what she wants. They aren't as ungrateful as she is at all!

I have asked her if she thinks over the last few months she's being deserving of this gift, baring in mind she's rolled in drunk, shouted and screamed at everyone, told DH she has no respect for him and just generally been vile to be around. She threw a fit because we wouldn't buy and insure her a car for 17th - despite never having had a lesson.

We aren't massively wealthy but could buy her a good laptop with everything she needs on it - because she needs it - not for Christmas, but she insists it must be a Mac Book nothing else. I just think she doesn't deserve it at the moment.

Is it unreasonable of me to just give her money towards it and nothing else as she says she doesn't want anything else and will be disappointed/ cross if I get her anything else

OP, your last post says exactly what I was going to say.

Good luck, it does improve, promise.

At 17 I was given cash by my parents for Christmas but always wrapped up with another little something (socks, book, record etc) so I had presents to unwrap. Would this be an option?

My eldest wanted money a couple of years ago but he still had presents, they just cost less than a tenner - kids all got the same spent on them in the end.,

Just be wary as vouchers have a time restriction on

@insomniac123
There's nothing wrong giving her cash. In addition to that, you could also gift her with a metal/ceramic piggy bank (preferably the type that where you can't easily open it without destroying them) and a cash book.

She may not appreciate the piggybank and cashbook now but I'm sure it'll be appreciated and definitely come in handy in future. This will give her the financial awareness that she's currently lacking, ungrateful to her parents hard work and frittering away frivolously. Get her to fill in the book. Her daily incomings and outgoings. Try to get her to do at least for 3 months and this will give her the chance to see where she's been spending unwisely. My siblings and I have a nice pot for our tertiary education thanks to our parents drumming on us to put aside some for a rainy day.

I've seen some of my friends indulging their children and they've become accustomed to big value items and no appreciation of hard work. It's not helped with Instagram, pinterest, etc. the amounts of peer pressure especially if your kids are not grounded.

Does your daughter helps out in other ways in terms of household chores, cooking and looking after her siblings?

@nameusername I like the cash book idea, unfortunately I don't think she'll use it, she doesn't like to discuss it what she spends on.
She does work part time and we take £70 per month 'housekeeping' which goes into a little pot for her - for when she goes to university or by middle of the month when she's run out of cash, so desperately trying to teach her to respect her own money and what she spends - so far to no avail!

Yes I have indulged in some of her wishes but not all of them, as she does have massively unrealistic ideas of what should be available to her.
All the children are meant to do chores, I work full time, so they should help, her younger siblings do, but she always has work/ homework etc. She doesn't help with the littles because quite frankly we don't really want her influence on them.

@tinysparklyshoes I think this maybes a little opener for her. I may get 'the face' though!

In answer to many comments- I have no idea where she gets her entitled attitude from, until recently we have struggled financially and in has only been in the last 5 years or so we have become more comfortable, so no she hasn't been showered with stuff. All the others are grateful and appreciative, to the point my son is difficult to buy for because he hates to waste money - it's funny how polar opposite they are!
I am a firm believer in pleases and thank you's so I don't know why she is they way she is and am keeping fingers crossed she does grow out of this.

I think money towards a Mac is a good idea but given your DD's entitled attitude, I would not give her more than your other children. I wouldn't give her cash either, she's more than likely to spend it and vouchers are good except they then tie you to one shop when you may get a better deal elsewhere.

How about an IOU, saying you will give her the money when she has saved her share then also buy her a few Christmassy bits?

Ignore the 'face'. At 17 she'll either be in her room or round her mates. Either way, it means you don't have to see it.

Like the idea of a voucher. Keep it in a safe place for her so she can't lose it or sell it for cash to fritter.

Time to start getting tough.

Tbh giving her cash is a good idea. I would prefer having the cash towards a Mac Book then a cheaper alternative. They’re expensive at £1-2K so it will definitely help her save up for one if nothing else. If she chooses to spend it on something else then that’s her problem

Have you thought about buying a reconditioned or 2nd hand MacBook? Or would that be unacceptable to your dd? If not I would give her money towards n a few wee bits to open on the day.

I don't think anyone has mentioned match-funding? My grandmother offered to match any money I saved up to £500 for some teenage goal (probably travelling). This means she really can't drink it, because she doesn't get it till she's ready to make the purchase.
A home made voucher in a card alongside some little bits. That seems fair.
She'll hate it, but that's her problem.

Love the idea of match funding!