AIBU or is all this gender neutrality stuff a bit much !?

[rOsie80]

I overheard the manager at my child's nursery saying yesterday how she had to inform the parents that the plan was to dress the girls as angles and the boys as something else (can't recall what!) but this was not to encourage gender stereotypes and little boys could be angels too (and vice versa) if they wanted too! Is it me or is all this gender neutrality stuff going a bit nuts !?

Not sure what the problem with the scenarionyou describe is? If the boys want to be angels and the girls the other character what is the problem?

Technically, angels are only boys.

Angels are usually described as 'he' or hgender neutral so ....

All the main angels are male (assuming you mean the Christian ones at this time of year with nativity plays looming).

Sounds like there's a lot of fuss over nothing.

Would a little girl being cast as a shepherd or a king upset you too, or is it only boys stepping out of their assigned roles that's a problem.

YABU If you think little boys as angels us "gender equality going to far" female doctors and male nurses must really blow your mind.

I think more girls should be allowed to be angles. We need more women and girls in STEM.

Real gender neutrality would be to allow free choice or assign roles at random, not have a gendered default that children can opt out of.

So in your ideal world if a little boy of nursery age wanted to dress as a angel he should be told that he can't?

In the bible, all of the angels are male.

I'm not sure where that leaves you in relation to this situation.

I objected when all the girls in the nursery nativity were girls and all the boys wore red. Why couldn't each child chose what they wanted to wear?

Technically, angels are only boys.

Technically, angels aren’t real.
In mythology they were neither male nor female.

YABVVU.

So you would prefer it if a small child couldn't choose what they wanted to dress up as? Okay

Wasn't the angel Gabriel a boy? And there's nothing wrong with letting boys and girls choose what they want to be. We met a little boy and his mum in the park a few weeks ago. He was wearing his winter coat, wellies, trousers.... and a tutu! It was what he'd chosen to wear. Our little boy, who is a few years older, barely even raised an eyebrow. Plenty of time for peer pressure and gender stereotyping when they're older - mores the pity.

AlternativeTentacle

I think more girls should be allowed to be angles. We need more women and girls in STEM.

Oh I didn’t think the OP meant it was OTT to let the boys be angels and girls be whatever else, I thought the point the OP was making was that it was ridiculous that the nursery manager had to specifically inform the parents that they weren’t gender stereotyping. I.e. that the nursery had to anticipate complaints from parents.
If I interpreted correctly then no in my opinion OP is not being unreasonable.
If OP doesn’t want boys as angels then that would be unreasonable.

No issue with the scenario (or the fact boys are traditional angels in the religious sense) just that the nursery feel they have to explain a decision to dress girls one way and boys another in case parents object. As a nursery assistant I'd be a bit fed up if I had to go around asking all the babies and preschoolers which costume they'd prefer - I have a feeling the Xmas party might never happen!!

no it’s not a bit much, it’s fantastic. Wish it’d been around when I was small.

You'd hope the staff would let the kiddos choose if they did have a particular preference but in my experience children (and all of us) like a bit of direction and just to fit in... is that such a bad thing!

. Yes it really is. Just like when girls "fit in" by not liking maths or playing with the construction toys, or boys refuse to dance so their friends don't laugh at them.

The fact that preschool children need to "fit in" to a gender stereotype is, in fact, a tragedy.

Would stopping the Xmas party dress-up choices prevent that from happening - hmm, not sure...

in my experience children (and all of us) like a bit of direction and just to fit in... is that such a bad thing!

Yes because it's pigeonholing children by gender and we need to break away from that

Alternative, I quite fancy being an angle, but then I've always been a bit obtuse.

Ba-dum Tish... I'm here all week!

Ba-dum Tish... I'm here all week!

I set em up, you knock em down

They are gender stereotyping tho. Any demarcation based on gender is just that - stereotyping. True gender neutrality would be to let them choose (chaos with pre schoolers) or allocate based on haircolour or surname. The nursery are just trying to make themselves look cool when they are really not. This stuff starts young.