Sleep training. Tell me it gets easier!

[MsHopey]

Stressed and sad.
First night of sleep training for baby to self soothe as he's recently started waking up every hour at night for cuddles.
On my ten minute timer now while baby cries and husband just keep giving me the look and saying it's easier if he just sleeps in bed with us and gets continuous cuddles.
I just want him to be happy but I can't keep waking up every hour and spending 15 minutes consoling him for it to start all over again.

Oh OP I remember feeling like this so clearly. You’re tired and stressed and just need a magic cure. I sympathise.

The 4 month sleep regression is a killer but it will pass. It will all pass!

Oops sorry posted too soon.

You just need to hang on in there and stop reading articles. Go with your gut. If what you’re doing right now doesn’t feel right, stop and do something else. The only useful thing I read when I had DD was The Wonder Weeks. They outline all the developmental stages and how long they last so you get to expect it and have a rough idea of when it’s going to end.

It sounds like your living situation is really stressful. Is it worth talking to your HV so you can get some support? As for your husband, he needs to move to the other side of the room if he can I’m afraid

Dd went through something similar at this age, except it was because she was becoming more mobile and would lie there swinging her legs up in the air and crashing them back down again, attempting to sit up etc and then getting frustrated and exhausted, before crying to be comforted. Tbh it got to the stage where I'd feed her back to sleep and bring her in bed with me to get through it. It passed without further intervention. By 6 months she was sleeping in her cot, in her room, for 12 hours - without sleep training. Not saying that some babies don't need sleep training, but certainly not at 18 weeks and perhaps not ever if it's just a phase.

OP you were posting a few weeks ago about when to start trying for DC2. Please don’t in this situation 🙄

@ScarlettOH
First time someone has recognised me from another post. I officially feel like a proper mumsnetter! We definitely won't be trying while still in this current living situation, and definitely not while LO is only 4 months. It's more like do we wait 2 years or 4 so I totally understand what your saying and we're on the same page. I should be eligible to move next November.

Lack of sleep is awful. I felt destroyed for the first 9 months of my dds life because she woke every 45 mins.
But please please don't leave an 18 week baby to cry. That baby is crying because it is their only way to express that they need you.

18 weeks is far too young. Sounds like the four month sleep regression. It will pass. But please don't leave your tiny baby to cry, I thought you were going to say dc was 10 months plus.

Also, yes, as pp said, white noise, saved me from about three/four months till he was about six/seven months. There are YouTube videos with cycles from twenty minutes to 12 hours.

Don't want to sugar coat it but also lost alot of intimacy with the OH

Get creative! Your baby shouldn’t pay the price for a lack of imagination!

18 weeks!

I'm a massive fan of sleep training in general. But not at 18 weeks! That's just cruel.

Okay. I think people missed my update where I said I'd leave it a few more months.

What about dismantling the cot and just putting that mattress directly on the floor? Then you can squeeze on with him for a cuddle, but roll away when he's settled as suggested by a PP.

In my experience some babies are just hard word sleep-wise and you can't train it out of them. It's all about adapting and lowering your own expectations.

As an aside, if your DH is sneezing all night, plus you have mould, you need to ventilate the room properly in the day. Could he (husband, not baby) try an antihistamine at night? I've lived in a mouldy house and it's NOT good news. A dehumidifer helped, and HG Mould Spray (from B&Q and most supermarkets) on any affected walls/windows to clear the mould.

I’m so sorry to sound judgemental but he’s so Young!!! Babies this young are supposed to wake up lots!! Your husband is right. Bring him in with you comfort him and get some sleep. Sleep in the daytime whenever he does, forget housework or other responsibilities and get some help in (family and friends!) and rest up! They’re not small for long. It feels like it’s not doable but I promise it is. Xxxx

I'm starting to think there are people out there who search for threads about sleep training just so that they can write horrible things without even reading what the poster has said. All the people banging on about neglect and smugly saying "just cosleep instead" when the OP has clearly said several times that that hasn't worked and has explained that she's in a very difficult situation should be ashamed of themselves for being cruel. OP, I hope the good advice on this thread has been useful to you, and please ignore all those who offered nothing but nasty comments and didn't even bother to read what you wrote!

Baby in bed with you . Use white noise app.
Husband sleeps on the floor .
Sorted.

Just another vote for white noise! It got me through the 4 month sleep regression this time.