To announce

[hmmmmm]

If my secret Santa is going to buy me tat I'd rather they gave the money to charity?

There was hushed silence. Might be because some have already bought their tat. One has bought a single employee a Grow your own boyfriend. Another some kinky gear for an employee going through marital troubles.

I'll probably get a bottle of milk and a saucer

YABU. Your idea of tat might be very different to someone else's.

You've made people feel worried now.

I for example love ANY bath type stuff. Doesn't need to be expensive but I've noticed on MN that some people sneer at them unless they're expensive ones.

So I might buy something I think is nice only for you to sneer.

It's Secret Santa...it's meant to be a laugh. Surely nobody expects a perfect gift!

Yes YABU. And rude

I can see your point. I get anxious buying people gifts in case I get it wrong. Maybe opt out of SS next year

Jaysus...

It's just a little bit of fun. There really isn't any reason to get sanctimonious about the whole thing.

Buy something silly and donate yourself.

There was hushed silence

Were you gesturing dramatically to a bunch of Dickens-style orphans at the time?

Wow, you really know how to foster relations in the workplace dont you?

So what if its tat? Its just a laugh FFS.

If I was your Santa I would give you a card with a list of employment agencies and a sim card with £5 credit on it.

We normally make suggestions such as Bacardi, socks, lager, PJs etc. I don't think it is rude and it can be helpful if you have new people who don't know the receiver well. It is just suggestions and it is normally a gag gift if we don't go with the suggestion. I can't think of anything this year so asked one person if everyone would think I was a tosser if I said to donate the guide price of food to the food bank collection we have on site, she said yes

Secret Santa already causes enough angst for most people. Youve just gone and taken it up 10,000 notches. I don’t know what your idea of a Secret Santa present is that doesn’t fit the category of ‘tat’, as with a tiny budget there’s not a whole lot there unless you know the person well.

YWereNBU to ask for the money to be donated (if they have not already bought something).
YABU to have phrased it in a way to make people feel uncomfortable.

Secret Santa is about giving a fun and thoughtful token gift, not about you getting your heart’s desire.

Secret santa is just a bit of fun. You sucked that right out with your comment

Surely if you don’t want to risk “tat” you don’t take part in secret Santa?

Maybe put up a list of what you deem to be tat and what you don’t, just to be clear.

Agree with Sirzy - isn't tat the while point of secret santa? I don't tend to partake in SS as I already have enough shite. But doesn't bother me if other people want to.

I think you should have declined to take part, or at least said this as soon as names were drawn, before anyone had the chance to buy anything. I do see your point about donations - it's a good idea, but it sounds as though your timing was off.

It’s supposed to be a bit of fun. You’ve now guaranteed that it won’t be fun for the person buying for you. Just open the gift, smile and say lovely and secretly give it to the charity shop if it’s not to your standards.

YABU and rude! Like someone has said, peoples ideas of 'tat' vary greatly. Imagine if someone had out a lot of thought into your gift that you outwardly labelled as tat?!
Just accept your secret Santa in the manner it was intended and donate to charity yourself if you're that bothered.
Jeez louise you're so rude.

I don’t know nerr I would have great fun finding the tackiest gift I could for the budget!

It’s a bit rude and not really in the spirit of it. If that’s your view you’d be better to opt out and give your contribution to charity.

Having seen some of the threads on here bemoaning the awfulness of the SS they've received and how humiliated they've been on receipt of said atrocities I suspect a hell of a lot of people don't see it as "just a bit of fun".

Maybe SS should just be banned 🤷🏼‍♀️

YABU. Now whoever is buying for you will be panicking. You put an unnecessary stress on what is really a game of buying tat. Does anyone get anything worth while for secret Santa?

I worked for a time in a very male dominated office. There were two other women there as well. One Christmas it was deemed that we would receive a joint Secret Santa gift. I got an edible knickers. My two colleagues were given a chocolate penis and an edible bra. We were shouted at to eat the underwear and suck the chocolate.
Didn't bother participating after that.

I think you were rude, BUT I also think that the presents you're describing are potentially very hurtful to receive. Grow Your Own Boyfriend for someone who is single? Bondage gear for someone whose marriage is falling apart? These are really insensitive gifts, that touch areas of private life that should not be up for ridicule. So your instinct in trying to change this seems bang on to me.

There was a hushed silence
As opposed to what? A raucous silence?

I love secret santa! If you don't, then don't do it. Hate people who spread their misery around.

I'd be buying you a 5ers worth of humbugs.

YABU, secret santa at work is about buying something funny or tat, if you only have a small budget then there’s not much you can buy that’s not tat. It’s meant to be fun, you sound ungrateful and boring.