Nativity disappointment

[notthatmum]

Name changed because I really don't want to be that mum but ..... my 6 year old daughter was so desperate to be an angel in the school nativity. They had auditions at the end of last week - she didn't get a part - her closest friends did but we've talked about how not everyone can always have parts etc etc. I've played it down but today she comes home with letter saying she is one of the singers and to wear black jumper and black tights or trousers. She is just so sad. I can't think of anything less Christmassy!
AIBU to think they couldn't have made all the singers angels??? Or stars??? Anything but black jumper and trousers??

You are being totally AIBU but I am being kind as I remember the stress primary nativity causes. Make a big fuss of her, tell her how much you are looking forward to seeing her and get her a Christmassy bow for her hair

I would agree that black tights and jumper is just very boring. If it's any cobsonatikn, she won't remember in a couple of years.

YANBU, I am a teacher and all of our singers wear Christmas hats/tinsel etc.

I hear you. I don't think yabu but why not make a big fuss over the day and say that you will do something really fun too afterwards e.g go for a milkshake. Just encourage her in her part and don't let her see your disappointment.

However, maybe you can approach the teachers and see if they can have some tinsel?

We were told kids wear white tights/white leotard or white to-shirt.

Tinsel and extras were added by staff on the day. They'll probably jazz up the kids' black leggings/jumper at school.

I wouldn't sweat it OP. Enjoy.

Genuinely I'm not disappointed for me - my heart just broke at her sad little face. If she was 13 I'd get the black but I know she just feels disappointed not to be able to dress up. I've told her she's such a great singer etc - it's not disappointment at not having a main part it's just the lack of festivity!

I came on fully prepared to say 'yabu, don't be so precious' etc, but I feel for her actually. Hopefully as a PP suggested, the school plan to jazz up their outfits. Could you check and perhaps suggest if to the teacher if not? It's only bloody Christmas after all!

Maybe they're all dressed in black because they're going to hold up silver/gold stars or something? DS preschool did this - they all dressed in black and then got star hats or stars hold - they loved it!

School will probably add stuff to the outfit. Obviously they can’t ask parents to dress kids in anything too jazzy, as it’d be expensive. The black is probably just a blank canvas.

That’s what they do at DS school. It’s a relief really, otherwise you’re spending loads of money on Xmas outfits. I think last year it was a white tshirt and black joggers which got transformed into a sheep!

I know what you mean OP, my youngest was so pleased when she finally got to be an angel last year lol.

Definitely go with a Christmas hat or bow and tinsel.

I am 45 and still recall being seriously miffed at 6 or 7 and my bestie being an angel whilst I was a "villager" with a tea towel on my head rofl.

Still it's a life lesson to learn we don't always get what we want.

At least you get to go to a nativity, I have 4 kids so have been attending a yearly nativity for the past 14 years, none this year as youngest is now a junior and they only do a carol concert.

Honestly I would leave well alone. Teachers have put in considerable amounts of time and effort getting the play together, helping kids learn lines and painting sets, and then parents chip in with their helpful ideas?

Teach your kid to sing as loudly as possible and leave well alone. Or volunteer your time.

I think there should be one thread for all parents whose kid didn't get the part in the nativity play that they wanted!
Or tell the child the truth: "that's life and you don't always get what you want."

My dd would rather die than be an Angel 👼. Thank God she is a donkey. Been practicing her neighing all week. Ds is Joseph, not impressed either, he would have chosen a different Mary.

My mum was the nativity angel, I was the nativity angel...if my DD doesn't get to be the nativity angel...
She's 2. I'm thinking we'll plant suggestions Derren Brown style from her first day at school onwards...

At our school we ask the kids to come in black pants and black t-shirt (we don't do a nativity, just a concert, so everyone is equal and no one has to get upset about not being the angel) as it's the easiest thing for parents to get, and then it is all even. If you ask for green shirts, you get everything from aqua to khaki. Black is just black. The kids are making their own Santa hats in class to wear (so it is actually their own work, and not the over the top parenting brigade who will rush off to Alexander McQueen for the shiniest and biggest hat in the class).

My dd would have rather died than been an angel. She also likes to have a proper job to do so liked being in the choir. I know your dd doesn't feel the same, but you can help make this nice for her by making a big deal out of it and being super happy for her.

Our school key stage 1 & reception do the nativity, about 45 children. Everyone has a part so lots of angels, shepherds, sheep etc. No excuse not to have all the children dressed up.

I have the same, my 6yo dd really wanted to be a pretty angel.
She's a cow 🙈

I know how she feels- I was desperate to be an angel at primary school but only the blonde haired girls got chosen- my black curls were not acceptable:(. My lovely Brownie leader chose me to be an angel though and made my life
I would check with the teacher but I'm sure they will bling them up with tinsel etc on the day.

Teachers do put a huge amount of effort into these plays but they do overlook things too. I speak as a teacher. There may be a good reason why they are in black but if you bring it up in a friendly way, the teacher may be open to your suggestion.

I remember the gutting disappointment of this. I'd been a shepherd for 3 years at Sunday School and was desperate to be an angel. I cried so much at pick up it was embarrassing. The teacher was very embarrassed and changed my part but the following year they changed it so all girls were angels and all boys were shepherds.

Are you sure school isn’t supplying something brighter for over the top? Black is a bit dreary if it’s unrelieved. I’d check with school before being too disappointed.
I too would have thought a choir of angels would be more appealing.

Your poor daughter, this was me 40 odd years ago and it still seems unfair to me, at least they could make the singers wear something seasonal

As many others have said I think the black might be the simple basis for the costume. I'm thinking for them to pin silver stars to (or wear star hats) so that they are the night sky?

We only ever requested a plain colour outfit for the main body of the class with added extras (mostly simple head-dresses or badges) made in class.