To wish people would stop doing this on Aibu?

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Ah, my favourite type of thread.

OP: Aibu?
Everyone: Yes.
OP: No I'm not!

Just... Why? It adds nothing. It proves nothing. Everyone says it as though they are the first person to think of it, even when five others have already said it on the same thread.

Increasingly, it's not even ones where the OP is being unreasonable. It's threads where the OP is getting a total, unjustified kicking, and some tit decides to post the above to undermine any further attempts to defend themselves. FFS, if you can't be nice, at least be original

That's a perfect description PuppyMonkey and yet the posters doing it can't, or don't want to, see anything wrong with that and even blame the OP for them having to do it.

MrsFezziwig ForgivenNotForgiven

Agree toomuchtooold. The damage of being gaslighted and emotionally abused is simply dismissed. I never say or think a poster is over-reacting re these situations - that's exactly what she will have heard from her abuser "don't be silly, you're over-reacting, you're crazy".

It's bad enough that unless a narcissist fits an expected pattern (based on horror films maybe, who knows!) eg creepy volatile aggressive, or the abuse is physical and can be seen, then anxiety is added to via the disbelief.

Couple of examples if it's a handsome charismatic man, or an elder woman pillar of the church homely family matriarch known and loved by all, then forget being believed. So if victim lands on AIBU with all that dragging her down, a kicking or mocking on here will drag her down badly.

Maybe that's more so the case for new/one off posters tho, who don't yet realise that Relationships is the best place to air certain issues

Thank you DeeCee - I get very anxious when I challenge people on this and it is incredibly helpful to have someone chime in with me

toomuchtoooold I've been there - through the fire, out the other side, and (eventually) healthy and happy. I know how it is, the trauma of it all. But we get by💐🙂

My pet peeve on AIBU is when posters completely ignore the actual AIBU question and then flame the OP for something else that was part of the scene setting/context....

Argh

I think MaisyPops has summed it up well, on P1.