I recall that many of my relationships with men started out with them really appreciating my independent, feisty yet kind, where only 'fools tread' person. Only to then try and grind that down and turn me into 'Jam Lady'. Although I like making jam and also lots of Prairie Woman things (like chopping wood, etc) just why are you with me?
Yeah this ^ DH has moments like this. He fell for me as a feisty, outspoken, spirited, ambitious rock chick, with a loud opinion, and who doesn't do 'cook from scratch, or bake cakes.'
Yet he moans (now and again,) that it would be nice to be married to someone quiet and demure, who would bake a nice cake from scratch for him. I just tell him he married me knowing who and what I was, and he knows what he can do if he's not happy. 
And as I said, I could say similar about him; occasionally I think 'wouldn't it be nice to be with a man who is a high flying professional on £300K instead of a low level management man who is on £24K?' Sounds mean? Maybe, but no worse than what he says.
I have many good qualities; I love my family, I do actually do more housework than him (my choice,) I work hard and earn more than him, I am kind and thoughtful and generous, I am an animal lover, and I am a good wife. He could do a lot worse.
Back to the OP, I think subconsciously the SAHM baking caring archetype is very non threatening, which might explain it's appeal. If men are generally raised to think that alpha protecting roles are to what they should aspire, seeing a woman do all the go getting hunter gathering and not giving two fucks could be quite undermining.
Exactly. Men don't want women to be the 'alpha' in the marriage. I mean God forbid she ends up more dominant and successful than him!
I think most men want someone who interests them, approves of them, loves them and wants to have lots of sex with them. I think also in an ideal world they'd like this same woman to sort out their life and house and children a la little house on the prairie type mum but also have her own magic money so they're not the sole breadwinner.
I agree with this too. I have known a number of men over the years, who want a little wifey to cook and clean and do all the domestic shit, and childcare and 'tedious' shit, but they still want her to be earning money.
A friend of mine had 2 kids, 20 and 18 years ago, (1997 and 1999,) and after each child, within several weeks, her husband was pecking her head about returning to work, saying there's no way they can do without her salary, and maternity pay is not enough.
So she went back when each child was only 3 months old, (3 days one week, 4 the next and so on - but still seemed to have as much work to do as her 'full time' colleagues.) AND she still did everything else; the childcare, the housework, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping etc.
She was run ragged, and when the kids were 5 and 7, (in 2004,) she had a nervous breakdown. Her DH had no sympathy, and was fuming when she was written off sick for 3 months, and was on less pay for much of that time. He said if they lose the house, it will be 'down to her...'
Unsurprisingly, she is not with that turd of a husband of hers anymore. She left and went to live with her mother and took the 2 kids in 2006, (when the kids were 7 and 9.) She is now in a with a much better man (has been since 2009,) and her DH is living with his parents (has been since they split over 10 years ago.)