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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is too much to ask

64 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 27/11/2017 14:59

My friend has just found an exchange for a 3 bed council house (so will be swapping with her 2 bed) anyway the property requires ALOT of work and looks to be in very poor condition (she took pics to show me) anyway she asked if I could help her paint it. I told her with 4 kids it wouldn't really be possible and that I need my own house painting but I do it when they are in bed asleep. Anyway she said when I drop my older 2 to school I could walk down to the house (about 15 minute walk and paint it whilst she's at work! I agreed to it as was caught of guard but now think this is really cheeky. Aibu?

OP posts:
Amatree · 27/11/2017 15:33

Some of the CF threads on here are unbelievable, mainly because I struggle to understand how people agree to such ridiculous requests. I would laugh out loud if someone suggested that to me. If you can't stand up for yourself then think of your children and do it for them - it's not exactly safe having a baby and toddler prowling around open tins of paint, edging tools etc while you concentrate on painting this CF's house. I simply can't believe you said yes to this in the first place but you should really text her now and say having digested it you can see that it would be totally impossible and you hope she can sort something else. Don't include the word 'sorry' becaus that implies her request was in some way reasonable. Good luck!

Witchesandwizards · 27/11/2017 15:34

There is absolutely no wayI would ask someone to do that for me.
It would be marginally more acceptable to ask for help while she was painting but on your own while she is at work???
She should take annual leave and do it herself.
And how would you manage and entertain your children?
Or do your own chores.

This is mental.

"I'm sorry but now I have thought it through, there is no way I could do it with DC in tow. I can barely get to the loo/make a cup of tea with them around".

expatinscotland · 27/11/2017 15:35

She's a CF. This is simple. Text her back, 'Thought about it some more. I'm not available to come paint your house so you'll need to find other help.'

And please, learn some techniques for saying NO or at least delaying so you're not 'caught off guard' and agree to bullshit like this.

Sprogletsmuvva · 27/11/2017 15:37

Bloody hell! Does she imagine that n-one who works FT, DIY?

OP, a baby and a toddler you say? I’m sure paint fumes aren’t at all good for young children...Wink

magpiemischief · 27/11/2017 15:39

Send her a quote for the job? Make sure it is suitably expensive to factor in childcare. When she queries it say you assumed she was offering to pay you for what is quite a lot of work.

KinkyAfro · 27/11/2017 15:45

Just tell her no!

Iloveacurry · 27/11/2017 15:49

Why can’t she take some holiday and do it herself? And no you won’t be able to do yourself with two kids around!

bimbobaggins · 27/11/2017 15:58

Look up a few numbers for painters and decorators and send them to her. I don’t even want to paint my own house never mind anyone else’s.
In future if anyone catches you off guard just say I’ll need to check and get back to you.

roobrr · 27/11/2017 16:01

She's clearly taking the piss.
Why can't she get a decorator in to do it?

Redglitter · 27/11/2017 16:03

Tell her no ok she caught you off guard but now you've had time to think about it tell her you're not doing it. I can't believe she expects you to do it for her as opposed to help her with it.

messofajess · 27/11/2017 16:08

If this was my friend I would be really honest and text her: I'm really sorry I said yes to painting your house - you caught me off guard a bit and because I love my first thought was obviously yes but really I can't even get my own housework etc done with my two small ones so I have no idea how I'd manage to paint yours! Can boyfriend help? Or can you take some time off work?

headintheproverbial · 27/11/2017 16:09

Why on earth would you agree to this? Back out NOW!

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 27/11/2017 16:12

Yeh I will tell her I won't be able to. Don't know why I agreed to it tbh. I don't think she can afford to pay anyone but I'm definitely telling her I've thought about it and it's a no.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 27/11/2017 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparklingSnowfall · 27/11/2017 16:21

Paint it with her = not cheeky
Paint it for her = very cheeky indeed!

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/11/2017 16:30

Such an odd thing to ask, she's got some front il give her that.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 27/11/2017 16:32

I don't think she wants to take any time off work

OP posts:
RB68 · 27/11/2017 16:34

£120 quid a day min for decorating

roobrr · 27/11/2017 16:34

If she can't afford someone else to do it then she should be getting someone to babysit the kids and do it herself in the evening.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 27/11/2017 16:44

She only has one child who is 14 they could do it together. I might suggest that to her.

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 27/11/2017 16:52

I painted a mates flat once. Several major differences: mate was there at the time plus 2/3 other mates, there was wine and takeaway pizza involved. Actually it was a really fun day and I still remember it fondly now many years later.

This, on the other hand is totally different and gets worse every time you post....she doesn’t want to take time off work.....she has one 14 yr old child.......Frankly the cheeky bitch can fuck right off. If she doesn’t want to pay someone or use holiday allowance, this is what the weekends are for.

Butterymuffin · 27/11/2017 16:55

Send Witches's text to her. Don't bother suggesting alternatives. She already knows her DD and boyfriend could do it, but obviously thought you were more of a soft touch!

MinervaSaidThar · 27/11/2017 17:01

She only has a 14yo but is expecting a mum of 4 small DC to paint her house.

I'm flabbergasted.

4dogs · 27/11/2017 17:15

If the house was left in poor condition I expect you'd have to scrub the walls, ceilings and woodwork before you could paint them. Sounds like weeks of work and completely impossible to do when accompanied by two pre school children! Say you thought she was joking!

ifcatscouldtalk · 27/11/2017 17:16

I'm laughing at the cheek of her, it's a rather big assumption on her part.
I'd go with the suggestion up thread of saying you thought she was joking. Infact, I wouldn't mention it until she does.

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