To not tell my soon-to-be DW about my mad ex-DW

[WeWillRochYou]

Whom I have locked up in my attic? I met her abroad ages ago and married her but then she went mad and I had to confine her to the upper floor of my house. A while ago, I had to hire a governess for my DD (of sorts - her mother was a french performer who left her to me when she died) and she and I hit it off. Long story short, I asked the governess to marry me and now my ex-DW is kicking up a fuss. My soon-to-be DW is snooping around and I'm worried that she will find my ex, who is sometimes violent. If we leave the country after we are married, AIBU to not tell her about my ex-DW? Surely what she doesn't know won't hurt her?

Is this your ‘mad’ ex-wife’s thread, OP? Look like there’s a lot you’re not telling us www.amazon.co.uk/Wide-Sargasso-Penguin-Modern-Classics/dp/0141182857?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Watch it, OP. Your soon to be DW turns out to have a hot blonde clergyman cousin who wants her to take up the missionary position with him.

So start practicing your psychic projection of your voice across time and space and stuff.

Reader , I married him

You thin you've got troubles, eh? Last night I met a right nobber at a dance and he refused to dance!!! I think he said something along the lines of "any savage can dance"!!! What a total prick! I'd never marry a twat like him, not in a million years, even if he does have his own mortgage-free home and ten grand a year...

If I were you I'd pop that house on Rightmove, ex wife and all (she will be regarded as a sitting tenant, and they have a lot of rights - she'll be fine up there ;-).
Your new wife deserves a fresh start where she isn't surrounded by your ex wifes stuff and hearing her ranting and blundering around up there. It's the only decent thing to do!

Paint a beautiful picture, drink absinthe, semi draft an autobiography - play russian roulette and don't darken these forums again.

Dullandold Flora Poste is my absolute favourite character ever (apart from Lizzie B obv) and had I seen you banned for clettering the dishes I would have campaigned on your behalf.

I'm a right laff, me.

(Even though my family's a bit common.... Dad loves me though, even more so than my gorgeous next-sister down...)

Bloody hell, you do know it's a sin john?

I think your soon to be DW knows all about what you're trying to hide and will be quite happy to have you as her status symbol and hopeless victim.

Can I just ask what your definition of an ex wife is here op? I don't think you're being completely truthful here...

I think you're being a bit of a lothario really. My mate Blanche is here crying her eyes out.

Huh! Try being me - up on the moors, tried to go home and the ex has locked me out and won't open the bloody window.

I could catch my death, I'm so co-o-old...

It’s all going to end in tears OP. It always does.

But then, once the smoke clears, I’m sure you’ll be able to see the error of your ways. Might take a while for your eyes to recover though.

I would offer to come and help you sort out this mess, but it's not possible to go for a walk today.

Sorry.

My mate Blanche is here crying her eyes out.

Cheer her up by telling her that the Thornfield Lothario, quite apart from the little matter of the wife in the attic, gets his kicks by cross-dressing as an elderly pipe-smoking gypsy -- i.e. she's well out of that.

But under the new Equality Act, if S/he self-defines as an elderly pipe-smoking gypsy woman, then that’s what S/he is.

Lizzie just get on a street car, simples.

Does anyone know of any good care homes in Spain? My uncle Quixote has gone gone senile. He thinks windmills are giants and he needs to fight them. Needless to say that the windmill owners are more than a little miffed.

I didn't no really understand that bit of Jane E
Mr Rochester said he was bound to his mad wife for life. In those days a man could divorce his wife for anything and certainly if she turned out to be mad, any type of disability was grounds for divorce- I know I am really missing the point