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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple friends being very tactile

38 replies

Northernpowerhouse · 26/11/2017 21:13

Ok, not sure if I am being a bit prudish here but would welcome views on this. Friends with A for about 15 years, meet weekly in a shared activity and also occasionally for girls night out, shopping trips etc. Have got to know A’s OH over the years but not really socialised with them as a couple as it’s more of a girlfriend thing. Seemed like an ok guy but as I say, only really know him through her. Just in case it’s relevant we are all in our 50’s ( so getting on a bit!)

So, yesterday, me and A go to near town for a shopping day. She asks me if I want to go back to theirs for pizza and a Strictly Night. We have done this before just girls. Anyway, all good, we have wine, snacks, pizzas etc. - me and friend sat on sofa and her OH sat on floor next to her. As evening progresses he gets more and more tactile with her... starts off leaning on her, then arms all over her lap, rubbing her leg etc. etc. She did say at one point do you want to sit on the sofa and I offered to move to other sofa so he could sit there but he insisted he was ok sat on the floor. At one point he had his hand sort of stretched out dangling near me which was weird.
Anyways, i got up to go and she showed me out and was saying something about him being tired cos he had got up to watch the rugby early ?
So now I just feel quite uncomfortable. I wish I had just said at the time Oy! You two need to get a room but I didn’t. So what do I do now? Just feel really odd about it all ,

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 26/11/2017 21:17

You feel odd about her OH leaning on her and rubbing her leg? Confused
Have I missed something?

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/11/2017 21:18

I don't think it's reasonable to expect a couple not to touch or have contact just because there's a guest there; perhaps they're just tactile?

SeparatedByMotorways · 26/11/2017 21:25

I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable but it really doesn't sound like they were doing anything untoward...

AnyFucker · 26/11/2017 21:27

I was expecting so much more from this thread Grin

whoareyoukidding · 26/11/2017 21:27

I wouldn't like having to witness what you describe, either, northern. Are you suggesting that he was almost hinting with his 'dangling hand' that they might be swingers? bbleurrgh

Tinselistacky · 26/11/2017 21:29

Sounds like you inadvertently gate crashed date night!!

Sayyouwill · 26/11/2017 21:31

So were you uncomfortable with a touch having physical contact or the fact that his hand was near you? Were you worried about cooties?

AnnabellaH · 26/11/2017 21:31

You were the 3rd wheel OP. They wanted you to join in Grin

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/11/2017 21:31

Why would they need a room? They were in their own home.

They had all their clothes on, they weren’t leaning over you to have a lingering smooch.

I find it a bit weird you find it uncomfortable when a couple touch, in what sounds like a pretty non-sexual way, in their own living room.

Blahblahblahzeeblah · 26/11/2017 21:34

I have a friend who has been single for a looong time and just recently got a gf. For most of the 10 years we've been friends DH and I have also been a couple. We make an effort when we're with others, especially a single other, to not be too touchy feely. Friend has recently got a GF and they came over one evening when DH was working late and the whole time he was stroking her inner thigh, stroking her face, running his hand up her leg. I found it uncomfortable. I think I'm probably just a prude too bit I feel like there's a limit for public touching, stroking and groping are a step too far for me. So I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 26/11/2017 21:35

Did you check the front lawn for pampas grass??

Northernpowerhouse · 26/11/2017 21:35

AF sorry to disappoint! 😀

Yes who i did wonder! But i have known them for years and never an inkling before.

I suppose it’s just that I wouldn’t do that with a partner in front of visitors so I expect that’s why I felt uncomfortable. As, I say , maybe just me being a bit uptight but don’t feel like rushing back!

OP posts:
Northernpowerhouse · 26/11/2017 21:37

No gatecrashing involved, they invited me.

OP posts:
BadLad · 26/11/2017 21:38

Is this them?

DancesWithOtters · 26/11/2017 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DancesWithOtters · 26/11/2017 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldlaundbooth · 26/11/2017 21:41

So they want to have a threesome?

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/11/2017 21:41

Tell them you don't want to join in with their sex festival

Winner of Mumsnet!

gingergenius · 26/11/2017 21:44

Would that make it a sextival????? Grin

AnyFucker · 26/11/2017 22:06

It doesn't sound anything like they want a sex festival or a threesome or that they are sexually interested in the op at all

Some folk have very active imaginations Grin

DancesWithOtters · 26/11/2017 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 26/11/2017 22:11

Grin @ sex people

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/11/2017 22:11

Bleurch. I would have been uncomfortable too OP - and I would have left. You just don't behave like that in company.

MaidOfStars · 26/11/2017 22:13

I can’t see anything wrong with their behaviour. It’s just a normal level of affection between a couple in their own home.

Charley50 · 26/11/2017 22:19

Lol at AnyFucker - I was expecting so much more from this thread
Grin 😂😂

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