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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple friends being very tactile

38 replies

Northernpowerhouse · 26/11/2017 21:13

Ok, not sure if I am being a bit prudish here but would welcome views on this. Friends with A for about 15 years, meet weekly in a shared activity and also occasionally for girls night out, shopping trips etc. Have got to know A’s OH over the years but not really socialised with them as a couple as it’s more of a girlfriend thing. Seemed like an ok guy but as I say, only really know him through her. Just in case it’s relevant we are all in our 50’s ( so getting on a bit!)

So, yesterday, me and A go to near town for a shopping day. She asks me if I want to go back to theirs for pizza and a Strictly Night. We have done this before just girls. Anyway, all good, we have wine, snacks, pizzas etc. - me and friend sat on sofa and her OH sat on floor next to her. As evening progresses he gets more and more tactile with her... starts off leaning on her, then arms all over her lap, rubbing her leg etc. etc. She did say at one point do you want to sit on the sofa and I offered to move to other sofa so he could sit there but he insisted he was ok sat on the floor. At one point he had his hand sort of stretched out dangling near me which was weird.
Anyways, i got up to go and she showed me out and was saying something about him being tired cos he had got up to watch the rugby early ?
So now I just feel quite uncomfortable. I wish I had just said at the time Oy! You two need to get a room but I didn’t. So what do I do now? Just feel really odd about it all ,

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 26/11/2017 22:36

Honestly I would think nothing of leaning on my husband or rubbing his leg in company. That's a normal amount of affection. It's not like they had tongues down eachothers throats.

Thymeout · 27/11/2017 00:23

I think, judging from what your friend said as you left about her OH being tired, that he was trying to suggest that it was time for bed. Whether he wanted to include you or to hint that you'd outstayed your welcome, I have no idea. But I'm with you on couples getting touch-feely in company.

DullAndOld · 27/11/2017 00:25

Damn I thought there was going to be swingers and hot tubs and pampas grass...

ChaosTrulyReigns · 27/11/2017 00:29

I think dangling wicker hearts are also meant to be an identifier of sex people. FYI Smile

TemptressofWaikiki · 27/11/2017 00:54

Blimey OP, you sound like a total prude. By the sound of your melodramatic title, I expected them to be at least dry humping….

TroubledTribble28 · 27/11/2017 01:11

It could have been worse op at my inlaws for a nice evening meal with my husband I 'tactfully' stretched my arm behind him to rest it on his shoulders but I'd had a bit too much sherry and I punched him instead Blush I'm a clumsy oaf. I would have been uncomfortable too if there was thigh rubbing!

TheDowagerCuntess · 27/11/2017 02:44

A dangling hand, you say...?!

Balaboosteh · 27/11/2017 06:59

Threesome isn’t such a way-out proposition you know! It’s a really fun, friendly practice to enjoy between friends when it’s done right. But I tell you OP that if they were wanting you to join in, their ficus would have been on you, making you feel welcome, seducing you basically. These guys sound self-absorbed. I’d have said, that looks fun! Can I joun in or shall I get my coat?

MargaretCavendish · 27/11/2017 07:01

I think dangling wicker hearts are also meant to be an identifier of sex people.

Wait, what?! We got given one of those for a wedding present (!) and while it wasn't much to my taste I dutifully hung it up in the spare room window... Have all our guests been barricading the bedroom door because they think we're sex people?!

wasMissD · 27/11/2017 07:08

Yes to the Partridge reference! 👏🏻

LaurieFairyCake · 27/11/2017 07:22

Are you getting enough orgasms OP Grin

Cos you're seeing sex everywhere like a Julian Clary character

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 27/11/2017 08:12

It all sounds quite innocent and normal.
It's nice that a couple in the 50s who most probably have been together over 20 years use casual affectionate touch. It's most probably how they usually behave but you've rarely seen them together in such a relaxed setting.

Northernpowerhouse · 27/11/2017 08:21

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Interesting to read the different opinions. Looks like I am in the minority here but Breakfast has probably hit the nail on the head, very wise words!

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