Other half not being safe

[candlefloozy]

So other half went and made dd a hot choc. She apparently walked off with it and walked into me in living room, then she took a sip and burnt her mouth. I jumped up as she was crying and I asked him if he'd watered it down and all he kept saying to me was she took it off him?? I did start raising my voice and ran and got dd a cold water. Anyway he kept telling me she just took it from him?! And I said no you let her take it and didn't try and it get back from her and she drank boiling hot hot chocolate?!? So while I'm pretty irate he sits on the sofa rocking and holding his head saying he's really dizzy and I shouldn't be shouting at him and that she just took it! I said but it's boiling hot and if that's the case if she's took it then you need to get it back off her. I should add that he knew she had taken it because i heard him say be careful?! So I assumed he'd cooled it down by adding milk to it, like I normally do.
He suffers with depression and forgot his tablets for a few days last week and so were back to square one with it now.
I feel bad for shouting but he didn't seem to realise he'd done anything wrong. AIBU? He's gone out for a walk now because he's got a headache. I didn't shout but I raised my voice.

He fucked up and tried to cover his arse.

You are upset and angry that he put DD in harms way inadvertently.

I feel sympathy for both of you.

The question is: does he have form for this?

He should have added milk yes but if he is ill I would cut him some slack. Maybe you should be monitoring such things until he is better? I know it creates more work for you short term but if he isn't of sound mind then it may prevent a serious accident.

How old is the child? Old enough to take the drink then probably old enough to realise it would be hot.

depends on DD's age - and shouting at him is un called for

I'm feeling bad but he was fine when he was making it?! It's almost as if he knows he's done wrong and is using this as an excuse. If he wasn't feeling well, then as usual I'd be doing the hot chocolate, but he was ok so he did it.
No not usually like him really. Maybe that's why I'm so shocked and maybe he is too. Now I'm wondering where the
Bloody hell hes gone in the dark!

She's four. I didn't shout I raised my voice. I wouldn't have let her carry it around.

YANBU to have reacted like that given the shock at seeing DD hurt. He should be able to take responsibility for a mistake without drama, unless he is very ill at present.

Armadillo - that's the thing he's had a bad week but no where near as bad as he can be. He's actually been really fine today. I think he just expects too much from her. He kept saying she just took it off me. I said well you're the parent you need to take it off her. So then I got the response of "don't give me a lecture on parenting" because I work with kids... 🙄

Can you call her m?

To be honest, given his depression I'd be a bit worried

*him

YANBU that was plain wrong. She’s only four FFS. Should have been sat down let alone being given boiling hot milk.

This is easy. He needs to 1) take responsibility for his MH and take his tablets. And 2) just apologise for the error.

Then you both need to move on. If he is that bad maybe he needs signing off work if he can’t function?

You were within your rights to raise your voice on surprise IMO.

If he has gone off in some sort of sulk that’s a whole other ball game

How old is child? If old enough to be carrying hit drinks around the house, I'd say old enough to heed a warning of be careful and test it very gingerly before slurping a whole mouthful.

Does he know you usually cool it down before giving it? If he doesn't then I'm not sure you can be cross with him.

You jumped up, and ran, all sounds quite dramatic. You know he's not feeling great about it, you shouting at him doesn't make anyone feel better or help the situation.

Deal with the scalded mouth calmly, then a quiet reminder to cool it a bit next time should be enough.

Ok, cross posted with the age update. 4 is too young for hot drinks. Yes he made an error and yes he should have got it back off her.

I hope he comes back soon and you can sort it out calmly.

I was calm after. I honestly don't think he thought he'd done anything wrong and thinking about it, it's him being lazy and yet again thinking that she should be more grown up than she actually is. Ffs. I felt like maybe I'd over reacted but actually I haven't.

Running yes I could call him. But I don't want too

I think you don’t want to because he is actually a twat who has gone off in a strop and that taking a lesson in parenting IS exactly what he needs to do. Are there other instances like this? In which case you have not one child but two.

@HipsterAssassin he has never gone off like this. But we've had a few times where I've had to remind him how old she is and I get told that he knows how old she is and not to give him the parenting lecture! Fucking annoying.

I think shouting was a bit uncalled for! Everyone makes mistakes its not like he did it on purpose. I think you are both being a bit silly. You shouldnt have shouted and he shouldnt have stropped off.

LTB.

How long has he been gone op?

My sympathies OP. He sounds like a nightmare to deal with.

Giving hot drinks to a four year old is madness regardless of who makes it.

All this drama over a wee burn from hot chocolate? Get a grip

it’s an accident. They happen. If this had happened on your watch, you wouldn’t have made such a palava over it, so why do it for your sick oh.