to think the novelty has worn off after 3 hours

[pinkginandtonic]

Went to brother and sister in laws today for an early Christmas get together. We have just got home.

Had a lovely lunch, a few glasses of wine etc. All good fun and a bit of a laugh.

Then they get out the giant party poppers and before long the meal has descended into a riot with food, napkins etc being thrown across the table.

Now, I find this all quite fun and amusing but this literally goes on for 3 hours. No real conversation just constant throwing of food at one another. I know they all think I am really boring but I just find it very dull and childish for so long.

The brother and sister in law are in their 50's.

Every "do" that involves them always ends up the same way - in the summer the water pistol super soakers come out and that also goes on for 3 hours too.

It's not just at their house but at mine or at parents-in-law.

I have come home feeling like I must be a right old misery, but am I?

Dump a trifle on their heads and leave.

you should introduce them to Pictionary.

arguably more violent and likely to lead to family feuds, but at least you don't (usually) have to spend hours piking sprinkles out of your hair.

picking ffs

Poor you. I ve never seen anyone over early primary school age throw food at each other. They sound appalling. Can you avoid going next time? Sudden awful illness perhaps?

If I was you, my OH would be going to these 'events' on his own & they wouldn't be happening in my home

They are the "we're all maaaaad here" type aren't they?

God my in-laws are like this. Every time I see them: "Hope you realise this is a mad house! You'll get used to it, har har har!"

Ffs

What a bunch of fucktards thinking that is a fun thing to do !!!!

I would be so cross to the point of causing a scene if I had to go to this event.

I spend half of my time telling my 1 year old its not ok to throw food, I couldn't cope with having to tell grown ups too.

they are HOW OLD?! 3 hours?! good grief - how did you stay that long?!

God my in-laws are like this. Every time I see them: "Hope you realise this is a mad house! You'll get used to it, har har har!"

Ffs*

The people who harp on in this way are invariably always the ones who are shockingly dull.

OP, I do feel for you. It's exhausting having to pretend you're having a good time when really you're bored and annoyed (quite understandably). It doesn't seem fair that all the socialising is done on their terms and no attempt is made to ever defer to your preferences. Their mode of 'socialising' sounds very odd indeed - as you say, what's wrong with chatting over a glass of wine or a coffee?

@Faithless - I don't think it's a class thing or an introvert/extrovert thing! It's just weird!
I think most people would think chucking a couple of balls of wrapping paper at christmas, or kids having a half hour water pistol fight in the summer in the garden is good fun, but this is a whole different thing - adults fighting for 3 HOURS is not normal, nor is throwing food.

@wictional throwing a bit of wrapping paper about for a few minutes is fun. Even watching it, if you're not joining in, is fun. But chasing each other about, stuffing it down people's tops, for 20 minutes starts to get tedious if you're not into it. Especially if you're forced to join in by having it lobbed at you, and being told you're "boring" if you don't want to.

I am certainly an introvert, hate practical jokes and tv programmes that involve watching people walking into things etc. I just don't think it's funny.

I don't just think it's about that. I "get" that other people like clubbing or party games (things I'm not a fan of). I don't "get" throwing stuff for hours on end.

I have long noticed the lack of any real communication in his family and this is their way of communicating, along with merciless "banter".

I don't think it's a class thing either. Wasn't the Bullingdon club full of toffs who trashed venues?

I remember some years ago on here a poster complaining about her in-laws' "famous" fir cone fight every Christmas, definitely of the "We're mad, us!" variety. It's so embarrassing for the outlaws to witness, let alone if they are duty bound to try to join in.

WTF?? Ohh I'd so love to be at a party like that, especially for three fkn hours......

Jesus wept. I think I'd be torn between sweeping out with the children under my wings, muttering something about how it was all getting a bit childish in here, and joining in. With sharpened forks.

This is simply not 'normal' behaviour for anyone. It might well be how they bond but in that case, they're seriously fucked up. TBH, if your OH is a bit that way inclined too, I'd be wondering how on earth I ended up pairing off with him.

They're not going to do this on Christmas day at your house, are they?!

(also, sod the Classism jibes. Before you'd said they were ordinary hard working-class people, I'd assumed they were some sort of sub-Bullindgon Club dicks. Frankly, that sort of behaviour is what I associate with over-privileged people who have always had People to clear up after them.)

Was it a fir cone fight or something weirder like acorns, I’ve been racking my brains trying to remember, but yes, her in laws sound just like the OPs.

throwing food about if aged over 2 is revolting.

I hope the man you sleep with is better than this and has respect for you.

I think your ILs might be related to my ILs, OP.

DP's BIL loves a water fight, and says insulting things that are just "banter" and anyone who doesn't find his rabid racism and sexism amusing has no sense of humour.

Even he stops short of food fights though.

They sound beyond tedious. Radio 4 and washing up sounds like a great way to avoid this puerile behaviour.

A rare unanimous YANBU!

"Common"? It's common to throw food over there? Never heard of it past the age of two.

Or is that some strange MN/British term for "peasants" . In at case I've STILL never heard of it past the age of two , and what an ignorant arrogant dickhead comment to make.

Op that's just bizarre as hell, NOT normal. They must really want to avoid talking to each other. It seems how I feel when people insist on BLARING the radio while in the car , is it so bad to talk to one another??

I was panicking with your first sentence as I had my husband's sister and brother in law round all day on Sunday, and thought it might be about ME.

But no, there was absolutely no food throwing happening at my house. No radio 4 either, although I do admit that my FIL and MIL brought their own slippers to put on in my house. That's fine, their choice. I have hard floors and would never have asked them to take their shoes off, but they produced them and put them on immediately. SIL, etc didn't though.

Categorically no food throwing, or stupidness. We sat around and had conversation. Like normal families .

And luckily SIL noticed when FIL started with his Daily Mail rant about "foreigners" and changed the subject speedily. That was the only close shave.

I'd have asked them to leave if they'd hit my children or caused a ruckus.

Definitely YANBU. I think you need new family!

It sounds disgusting.

I’d be furious if someone threw food on me or destroyed my clothes with food.

Their house must be a complete state after their ‘party’. Normal cleaning and tidying just wouldn’t cut it. The walls must be destroyed as well. Grim!

Surely you can refuse to go? If that isn’t an option I’d wear a pair of overalls and leave as soon as that shit started.!

Omg that sounds awful op. My brother in law once put a snow ball down my back and I didn't speak to that family for a good few month after, so I can only imagine what would happen with food.

Maybe if you have to entertain at you house with them a big disposable table cloth and paper plates so you can just fold the table cloth and the food is gone. Although I would then be worried about what they would be throwing lol