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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the novelty has worn off after 3 hours

169 replies

pinkginandtonic · 26/11/2017 18:26

Went to brother and sister in laws today for an early Christmas get together. We have just got home.

Had a lovely lunch, a few glasses of wine etc. All good fun and a bit of a laugh.

Then they get out the giant party poppers and before long the meal has descended into a riot with food, napkins etc being thrown across the table.

Now, I find this all quite fun and amusing but this literally goes on for 3 hours. No real conversation just constant throwing of food at one another. I know they all think I am really boring but I just find it very dull and childish for so long.

The brother and sister in law are in their 50's.

Every "do" that involves them always ends up the same way - in the summer the water pistol super soakers come out and that also goes on for 3 hours too.

It's not just at their house but at mine or at parents-in-law.

I have come home feeling like I must be a right old misery, but am I?

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 27/11/2017 00:40

It sounds awful. YANBU.

Oh yes, I've had the bin chucked over me
You know when you've made an effort to do a nice BBQ and make yourself look presentable, put on your sunscreen etc and then it all descends into a riot

Shock. That's not fun. I would hate it. I think I'd find it oddly aggressive in a way, as well.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 27/11/2017 01:11

Oh OP I do sympathise!

When I first met DH's family I was horrified. They like "novelty items" and silly jokes.

The first Christmas I spent with them, they had this joke toilet that you flushed and it made stupid, rudejokes. And a punch ball that swore!

They spent the day hitting this punchball and then roaring with laughter as it said "Shit!" "Fuck!" etc.

I was Hmm and Confused

PerspicaciaTick · 27/11/2017 01:15

It sounds awful.

I'd withdraw to the kitchen, shut the door and wedge it firmly closed and find solace in washing up and Radio 4. I hate washing up, but I rather wash up than be anywhere near a food fight.

oldlaundbooth · 27/11/2017 01:18

3 hours? WTAF?

ButchyRestingFace · 27/11/2017 01:22

I must be hallucinating (it’s well past my beddy byes).

🤯🤯🤯

I could swear I just read an OP in which the poster said she attended a family meal where the hosts sat and threw food at the guests for three hours.

And the OP just sat there and took it!

I really need to lay off the diet Irn Bru before bedtime. Sad

DullAndOld · 27/11/2017 01:34

I bet they are the kind of people who lift up one arse cheek to let out a massive fart in public aren't they?
Vile.

TeslasDeathRay · 27/11/2017 01:51

Ahh, classism. Good old Mumsnet.

Insomnibrat · 27/11/2017 02:11

Its not you OP.

I'd hate it too, I'm fine until people start getting loud and rambunctious, then it quickly becomes like a sensory overload and I cant bear it.

You shouldn't have to take it from adults though!

Nicecuppatea21 · 27/11/2017 02:23

From now on stay for 30 minutes and say things like 'we're off you lot are crazy and I'm boring. Have a great time, bye'. They think you're boring anyway so who cares.

That sounds horrendous!!

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces · 27/11/2017 02:57

What do you mean they have a poor relationship but live you and work together? Do you live with your dp?

This is grim.

Original poster
pinkginandtonic · 27/11/2017 07:07

I suppose when you're part of a couple, you put up with a certain amount of things, you wouldn't do if you were single.

I wouldn't expect my OH to walk out on my family because he finds them dull (he does), so I don't walk out on his family.

But until yesterday, I honestly hadn't given it much thought, just accepted it.

OP posts:
Ceto · 27/11/2017 07:42

Tell them that in your house, at least, it is not going to happen, and that you are instead going to spend the money that otherwise goes on wasted food by giving it to charities for people who are literally starving to death. Likewise, in the summer tell them you are going to have a collection for water charities rather than throwing water around like idiots.

Finola1step · 27/11/2017 07:52

I think you've hit the nail on the head OP. It is their way of bonding and communicating as a family. A very odd way but something that they enjoy and are comfortable with. I have no idea how to deal with it though. Apart from seeing a bit less of them.

MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta · 27/11/2017 07:59

Ugh, they sound like my in-laws. Claim to be "close", but no actual conversation about anything that matters - it's all tedious "banter" and gossip, but because they get together twice a week, they're "so close".

At Christmas, present opening will descend into "throwing balls of wrapping paper at each other" and chucking sweets about. A recent trip to a forest park involved chucking pine cones at each other's heads and shouting, while other people tried to have a peaceful walk.

They'll have water fights in the summer. When we go to PIL's house, they chase each other round the house.

DH is fine on his own, but irritating when with his siblings.

Original poster
pinkginandtonic · 27/11/2017 08:15

Fordfiesta - I think we have the same in laws.

And yes, to the "banter" that is literally hours of constant abuse.

It's tedious.

OP posts:
MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta · 27/11/2017 09:21

@pinkginandtonic Sadly, unless you are me, it's 2 different sets of people. It's just so... tedious, like you say. DH on his own is intelligent, funny, interesting and kind. As soon as he's with his family, he's 8 years old again.

And it wouldn't be so bad, except that they do so much stuff together, and I have to go to some of it, and so do the DCs, and then I'm left trying to figure out how to explain to them that we don't act like that in normal life.

I think half the problem is that they're so "close" that they've never socialised outside the family, so they genuinely don't know that this isn't normal.

Allthetuppences · 27/11/2017 09:31

I'd definitely use that they think you're boring. Some sort of "well this is all too much fun for me, i'm off to the pub" type farewell. They sound hardwork!

copingish · 27/11/2017 09:45

Baffling behaviour! How bloody awkward! They make my family sound fairly sane. Yes - leave them - cheerfully - to carry on. You do t have to endure their weirdness!

ofshoes · 27/11/2017 09:56

It sounds a bit like someone has a "wet and messy" fetish, apparently it's a thing but please don't ask me why cause it's a mystery to me

KC225 · 27/11/2017 10:01

Throwing food for three hours? Bloody hell. Do you plan a menu around it. I take it soup and trifle weren't on the cards. I think super soakers at summer bbq might be fun but I have two ten year olds. This pounds like a little Britain/Fast show sketch.

I have always wondered what 'those' people were like at home, you k ow the ones who wear novelty ties and socks, the ones.who introduce themselves with 'I'm mad, I am'

Huppopapa · 27/11/2017 10:08

YOU HAD A BIN THROWN OVER YOU?!?!?

I am speechless.

Original poster
pinkginandtonic · 27/11/2017 10:38

Huppopapa - yes, a bin of water. They literally ran around the house looking for empty receptacles to fill with water, the bin was just one. Recycling boxes, storage boxes etc were also used.

It's all "fun" apparently.

OP posts:
lurkingnotlurking · 27/11/2017 10:43

I think I would lose it if someone threw a bin of water over me. I would completely lose it. Yanbu

Huppopapa · 27/11/2017 10:43

"Nurse! Smelling salts to HP's room NOW!"

Saints preserve us, PG&T, how on Earth have you managed to tolerate this?! It would drive me completely batty. I think the most destructive part would be me continually wondering what other bizarre conduct my DP might get up to without warning. I don't think I could ever think I really knew him.

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 27/11/2017 11:58

Do you live with your FIL?

How have you not murdered any of them yet?

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