Maternity clothes as Christmas presents

[Paperchains1986]

I need a stern talking too. I was talking to my mil about how I need maternity clothes soon (I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first) and she said "don't buy any, you might be getting some for Christmas".

I don't want maternity clothes for Christmas! I want to buy what style I
like and they are a necessity. I think presents should be nice things I wouldn't buy myself from others. No one will buy my husband presents for the baby for his presents.

Even writing this I know I AM being unreasonable, haha, who moans about getting gifts! but I can't shake the feeling that the only thing people think of me now is a pregnant woman when last year I got a cooking course, books, cycling gear, vegan penny sweets. Thoughtful gifts for things I like. Not necessarily expensive, not prescribed by a list I made for everyone to stick too. I am only pregnant until June.

Talk some sense into me, please!

From what you've said, it's not at all obvious that she is the one buying them - it could just as easily be that she knows your husband is buying you some, for example.

I think you are being silly. As an adult, gifts from extended family are a gesture and a symbol. I think it is ridiculous to reject something that is practical because it doesn't meet our definition of thoughtful. I'd love if someone filled my car with petrol, as in your example, and the gift there would be the extra £50 sitting in my wallet knowing I could do whatever I liked with it - trashy magazines, a meal out, put it towards a new outfit or just save it. Honestly, i bet most adults would rather that than the cookery course or the special vegan candies. And maternity clothes are thinking about what you specifically might appreciate this specific year. It's not like she suggested maternity clothes when you were not pregnant. Take offence all you like but I think it sounds like you have a pretty caring mother-in-law who wants to do something nice for you. If you don't want them, don't wear them and buy an entire maternity wardrobe yourself.

I Got baby vests as a Christmas present from my mil one year because I was pregnant. Like oh wow thank you just what I wanted/needed/like. my dh didn’t get baby vests for his Christmas present

Maternity clothes aren't essentials, anymore than any other clothes are. I used to get things like jumpers, boots and packs of knickers for Christmas, and tbh was quite happy with them.
Never really wore maternity clothes though, and I don't think my MIL would have bought them. But if I did I would have been happy with them as a gift, as long as they fit and looked ok.
I wouldn't have been impressed if someone had bought me actual baby things though. That is well out of order.

Clearly you've not read the whole thread sycamore but that's fine. So what if most adults wouldn't want the gifts I've had in the past? My point was they were gifts that someone had thought about ME liking.

I've also not said I'll reject it or get offended 😂

My MIL is the most caring person I know. She's the best anyone could ask for. She wouldn't be getting me something she knows I don't like. I know she thinks it's what I want but like most people on here have said, it feels like gifts related to childcare or pregnancy are ones chosen when people think of you as only a mum to be and nothing else, which is upsetting.

My husband won't be getting me any, I've told him I don't want to open elasticated jeans in front of family on Christmas day. I'd just rather go to H&M and get them now! But can't now...

YANBU, but personally I wouldn't mind! My SIL bought me a lovely maternity jumper dress for Christmas last year when I was pregnant and I actually really liked it. I thought it was very thoughtful of her to find me something that was actually nice!

Paperchains1986 I don't think maternity clothes should be a surprise gift just as nappies and milk they are essentials. I got by on a very small maternity wardrobe to be honest and once you've got a couple pairs of over the bump pants they go with any modern floaty oversized or stretchy top. It was only a small window I really needed my 'special' wardrobe. What ever you mother in low buts buys if you don't like it i'd just return it. They're pretty good at taking things back without a receipt and if it's from somewhere such as debenhams for example, you could just swap for store credit and get something you want.

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I wouldn't mind if they were nice clothes. I was in maternity clothes from 18 weeks with both pregnancies, and wore the same ones a lot, so it was important they were fairly nice. They got a lot of wear.

i'm a tiny bit jealous as my inlaws were more concerned over what they wanted from us than what they were getting for us. They sent measages to DH demanding we buy things they want and spend what they decided was enough (our unborn baby didn't even exist to them). I wanted them to acknowledge our child but instead they wished to ignore he fact. When dh rebuffed this and said we had their gifts already and couldn't afford that as we're having a baby as they knew they stopped speaking to us. They hence didn't get me or DH anything for Xmas when I was Pregant with their grandchild. Maybe it's no wonder they are now estranged...

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I think you are reasonable to prefer some other present but they'll reasonable for thinking this is a good prezzie.

I've actually asked for maternity clothes for Christmas. Baby bump or not, I like looking stylish and have a great selection of stuff. So I like getting clothes but as it happens this time round, they'll be suited to my figure in early 2018.

So to me that's completely different from being given an appliance or something. Frankly, being given a cooking course would have offended me.

Haha, I was newly vegan and I got a voucher for a 3 course meal italian vegan meal you helped cooked and then eat together. Rather than they think I'm a shit cook. Well, they might think that I suppose but I don't think the pressure was linked!

I'd love a black Isabella oliver maternity tank dress. I'd wear it all the time and it would feel totally for me. But I wouldn't love random stuff someone else chose...

I’m with you on this OP. I’ll be 34 weeks at Christmas and I might scream a little if i get anything baby or pregnancy related. Obviously I’ll be way too polite to actually scream, but I will want to.

Although that said I could really do with some new pyjamas I can breastfeed in and which are giant enough to fit me since a) I don’t actually own any and b) any that I may have owned wouldn’t fit me anymore anyway!!