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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate it that it gets so personal on here sometimes.

113 replies

kks · 18/04/2007 14:55

The majority of people on mn are very nice but i think it gets too personal sometimes when there is a debate going on. I just don't get how some just can't seem to voice opinions constuctivly without knocking someone down because then it seems to catch on and before you know it, some poor sole is getting insults left, right and centre.

I do wonder why mn isn't moderated better. I realise that lots of threads under different topics are started each day, but the ones that get nasty and personal are usually the very long threads that last days so shouldn't be that hard to seek out.

I do wonder though when someone is getting a thrashing in a debate, how that person must be feeling really. Then i wonder about the people who are typing the nasty stuff whether they would say the stuff to a persons face in real life. I doubt it because it's very easy to hide behind a keyboard.

Sorry this is long but the personal thing is the only thing that annoys me about mn.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 15:46

Confused Um, it's not a very good Trinny and Tranny impression - you didn't even grope her ass or boobs.

IcingOnTheCake · 18/04/2007 15:47

I am actually glad i started this thread now, i have turned a corner.

Debbsyandson · 18/04/2007 15:48

Like that name ex kks

GibbonInARibbon · 18/04/2007 15:51

I was just thinking the same, see it didn't turn nasty, instead you had a bonding session.

DearieMe · 18/04/2007 15:53

well done. on that note, how do you do corners when icing a cake?

ScottishThistle · 18/04/2007 15:53

< I do however hope you're not wearing a wrap dress with crocs! >

IcingOnTheCake · 18/04/2007 15:54

With confidence.

ScottishThistle · 18/04/2007 15:56

Tut-tut!...They'd have a field day with you!

AitchTwoOh · 18/04/2007 15:57

is that the corners or the crocs with confidence?

AitchTwoOh · 18/04/2007 15:58

now you've told us this you're dead in teh water, you know that? all the crafty cakey types will be all over you liek a rash. did you see the Littlest mermaid cake someone did last week? amazing.

IcingOnTheCake · 18/04/2007 16:05

I didn't know there were crafty cakey people on here!

And thats confidence with corners not crocs!

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 16:39

Well, MN will be a busman's holiday for you from now on, I fear.

IcingOnTheCake · 18/04/2007 16:45

why will it be a busmans holiday?

Carmenere · 18/04/2007 16:49

Hey IOTC for the record I was very nice to FE and went out of my way to offer her advice which she just ignored.
We did tell her to change her name and come back with a different persona and I hope she has.

pointydog · 18/04/2007 17:09

I think there should be a mn vigilante group whose job it is to hunt down thrashers, ne'er-do-wells and smart arses and wreak revenge

that would be fab

yellowrose · 18/04/2007 17:19

nothing wrong with thrashing someone in an argument, if they are talking unsubstantiated rubbish, then you have the right to argue with them.

what would be the point of a debate where everyone agrees and hugs and kisses ?

i DO agree that you should NEVER get personal, i.e. say they are stupid, or that you visualise that they wear horrid clothes or that their husband is a tit, etc. may be true, but you shouldn't say it, it is just rude !

NineUnlikelyTales · 18/04/2007 17:31

Someone upset me yesterday and I had a fab time imagining them sitting at their ZX Spectrum 81, smoking fags, drinking cinzano and wearing floral slippers, whilst smelling of cheese. It's one of the great pleasures of MN (for me).

yellowrose · 18/04/2007 17:37

Nine - that is quite funny though - lol !

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:43

Um, pointydog, I did discuss, at a meet-up, agreeing to follow a specific (rarely appearing) poster from thread to thread, saying 'fuck off x'. She was really really dreadful and offensive.

Said poster isn't here any more, as she finally took her horrible behaviour too far and angered MN towers, thank god.

mytwopenceworth · 18/04/2007 20:45

nqc - who on earth was that?

morningpaper · 18/04/2007 20:57

IcingOnTheCake I've not seen you before!
ARE YOU NEW?
Do you like icing cakes?

see how a name change works wonders

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:57

madcow I think she was? She was vile.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:58

I do feel a bit for taking such a dislike to her, normally I forget about fights very quickly, honestly don't hold a grudge against anyone, largely thanks to having a mind like a sieve.

But she really did annoy me, quite a few times.

Hathor · 18/04/2007 21:03

pointy - yes! A MN Protection League. Like the Cats Protection League (poem by Roger McGough)

The Cats' Protection League

Midnight. A knock at the door.
Open it? Better had.
Three heavy cats, mean and bad.

They offer protection. I ask, 'What for?'
The Boss-cat snarls, 'You know the score.
Listen man and listen good

If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood,
Pay your dues or the toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall.

Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
a smelly minefield awaits you at dawn.'
These guys meant business without a doubt

Three cans of tuna, I handed them out.
They then disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:09

Well, things do work that way, more or less. If someone is being really needlessly horrible, the person they're horrid to will take a dislike to them. As will that person's friends. And probably some innocent bystanders, too. If the same poster is repeatedly horrible to lots of people, they will find MN a less friendly place, over time.

I'm sure I was far from the only person who took a dislike to cowmad. The people being rude to her on MN were by no means limited to people that I formed a pact with ...