Mum won't come to the phone...

[MrsWembley]

... because Coronation Street hasn't finished - it's got three minutes to go

Is my friend being unreasonable to feel a bit put out?

(Posting this for her as she's not yet an MNer)

Well yes, this is one of the reasons I have sky plus. But a lot of people don't and prior to that no way would I have come to the phone if I was watching something I love. Why can't your friend wait 3 minutes?

I don't watch soaps, so don't understand it myself but my mum and gran ring each other between soaps, so I think it's normal.

I don't watch any live TV so people can phone me anytime. If I'm watching something interesting on Netflix, I hit pause. I do work from home and get a bit tetchy if people ring when I'm working which is probably a bit OTT as I don't stick to regular hours so people never know when not to disturb me. I've just had a text from my mum asking if she can pop round for twenty minutes in an hours time. My tetchiness over my work being interrupted is probably why I said yes, but I am secretly seething a bit. I was gonna start work in an hour.

Idk, I can't imagine being more interested in any TV programme than a chat with my daughter.

" DSDad shouldn't have answered the phone in the first place, which I agree with..."

Why didn't he just say that her mumm was busy & would call back?

In itself it's definitely not any indication of a lack of regard, no. I wouldn't take a phone call under the same circumstances either...I don't watch Corrie but you know, if it was something I do watch and was suckered into.
Think your friend is being unreasonable on this one. Sorry.

Oh...and why shouldn't her stepdad answer the phone in what is, I assume, his own house?

Does her mum not have Sky + or whatever then?

I guess your friend has a difficult relationship with her mum which can mean every interaction is fraught. I get it. My Mil is hard work and she is often unreasonable. Sometimes my dh gets fed up with behaviour that actually isn't that unreasonable really, it's just after a long run of her behaving badly he is 'primed' for every little thing. Sounds like that's the case here. I try and help my dh by being objective and calm about his mum's behaviour rather than ramping up the drama. Has she got anyone in her life who can help with that?

Agree mirri

How often does she call her mum?

I would not phone my DM during Strictly. She would not know how to pause live TV either.

If I rang her during Strictly, she would assume the worst.

My dear mother has a remarkable skill of being able to phone me during the last 5 mins of any show I'm watching, usually right on the cliff hanger.

Yes I can pause it but I then I have to sit and watched the paused screen wondering what I'm missing.

Surely your friend would have known her mum would be watching Corrie when she called?

If her mother was watching Pride and Prejudice, or the Christmas Lectures would your friend feel different?

So tell stepfather you'll call back in a few minutes or chat to him while the tv is still on.

My Mum tells me often to go away if I phone her while She's watching TV. It isn't a big deal.

Another for BU, unless dire emergency. If you phone someone other than by prior arrangement you have to accept that it might not be convenient for the recipient to take the call. They don’t have to justify themselves either, similarly if you turn up at someone’s house uninvited.

Idk, I can't imagine being more interested in any TV programme than a chat with my daughter

Really? For the sake of 3 minutes? I can't imagine thinking my totally not emergency phone call is more important than letting someone finish something they enjoy doing for a tiny amount of time especially when I know that they do that thing at a specific time.

Obviously I'm a Luddite too as I can't pause my TV and it's not that old

"Really? For the sake of 3 minutes?"

Especially for the sake of 3mins! But I'm thinking if she was no longer living here I'd be really pleased to hear from her.

That said, she'd more than happily chat to her dad for that length of time/he could tell her I'd phone back/she would know if I regularly watched something so it would be a genuine mistake & no one would take umbrage.

Op's friend has obviously taken it as a slight which shows that the relationship isn't brilliant.

I can't believe people still watch TV live

My mum was a proper telly addict, she'll leave gatherings early so as not to miss things etc. They don't live near so I only see them a few times a year. Last time I visited I was chatting to my dad and she said "can you two be quiet I can't hear the TV!" Even though it's permanently cranked up to a million decibels. So you have my sympathy.

A ringing phone is not a summons.

Corrie was crap last time I saw it and I used to live it years ago but the woman is entitled to decide whether to answer the phone and when to do it. My DF tries to force me to talk to siblings on the phone. I love my family but I'm introverted, busy with kids and don't always feel comfortable on the phone. I'm in my fifties

Fair enough, if your friend has something really urgent to say, then she should come but most people's daily phone calls are tedious drivel (mine included )

"but her DM is prone to passive aggressive behaviour and she's wondering if this is normal or just her DM"

It's normal.

And I think your friend should be taking quite a hard look at whether the other 'passive aggressive' behaviours are reasonable as well. Because to even think that she was being reasonable in this particular instance suggest that her judgement is considerably off.

Do yo find her self centred? Because the way you have described her (demanding attention when she knows someone is busy, inability to wait 3 minutes) is really quite unpleasant.

She's not self-centred in the slightest - one of my oldest friends and she will go out of her way to help anyone. This includes her DM and sometimes she wonders why she doesn't get the same back.

She was just feeling, as I said, a bit about the fact that her DM couldn't just say "I'll call you back in a minute" or "Love you but my programme is on" or anything like that, instead of a flat out refusal to come to the phone leaving her DSDad feeling more awkward than usual and unable to just chat.

Oh and I don't have sky but I can still pause live tv.

People constantly calm me st work when popmaster is on the radio.Inconsiderate buggers

The last three minutes are the best bit

It's 3 minutes. Just wait.