To not let Dd have her confidentiality

[CoffeeCuddles]

Dd is at the age where she can take charge of all her medical appointments, records etc . Part of me doesn’t want her to sign the form . I’m all for her making these decisions herself but I don’t think she’s capable on making the choices about her mental health. Aibu ?

Wrong thread ? Kurri

try and be there for her thes best you can hun.if there is no choice in whats going to come you need to figure out what you can do/change/put in place.
so a major part of that is making sure she can come to you.
if she isn't wanting to seek help ther eis little that it will be achieving by her going at this point anyway.
but rest assured once she is off there books they wont just leave her.they will by law have to keep doing checks.and unfortunately if she does start getting worse her not attending or working with the authorities wont do her any good in the end.she wont be able to hide from them and they can aks then force tests to see if she is fit to be in the community.and unfortunely then too will section her if she isn't.
so you being taken out of the picture wont mean she doesn't get the help.but sadly it can mean the health team then can force it on her without your say so.or you permission.
so if you can try and get her to work with them the best she can.keeping them no side can be key to her being on the outside world.
they (stupidly)don't take kindly to someone refusing apt and it can get there backs up and lead to decisions that might not have occurred.
and at this point all you can do is be the wall she can lean on if and when she is ready or needs to.
it is so difficult to be on the outside when child is getting sicker and you feel you cant do anything.but you can.her not seeking proffessioanl help does stop you helping her.it doesn't stop you stepping up with fight to keep her going.your still her parent.
this might be tough.you might have to really push yourself but right now she is really really going to need you.if she is poorly like you say it will I'm sorry to say be down to you as her family to keep her going.or to see that she is worthy of it.
don't shove that she is ill in her face.just keep talkig to her.being there.letting the pathway open enough so that if she realises it then you are there.
deep down she will know she isn't well.and the scary thing is she will be ever so frightened in her head of it.and how she is feeling.
but she obviously isn't well enough or ready enough to fight back.yet.
so help her see she is wonderful.help her to see there is life outside the illness.
your scared.she is just as scared I gaurentee it but facing it at this time for whatever reason isn't possible to her.
but she cant hide from mental illness.if she doesn't stay well there is only one way it can go.and she will really need you then.
take care.keep yourself strong and able for if things hit the fan.
keep strong.
keep safe.
I'm sorry your so worried right now.your not alone.xx

OOps - massive apologies
So sorry about your proooblems with your DD OP

reported myself.

At 16 she still needs a parent. She may decide to exclude you from her treatment/ decisions but you don’t stop being her parent. Is there any option of parent work where she is being treated? Sometimes services will offer you work even if your child refuses - to support you in supporting her. This is because regardless of confidentiality issues it is recognised that adolescents are not adults and still need adults to support them. Sometimes that includes backing off but it doesn’t always.

Support is very different from making all decisions. Everyone with mental health problems needs support. But you are assuming that your decisions are the correct one. DP had mental health problems at this age caused by a major life event. He was made to see someone weekly. He hated going and most of the time refused to speak as he said the man he saw was incredibly patronising and of no help whatsoever. Plenty of adults change counselors because they find the first one they go to of no help. She may be right.

Kateandme is completely wrong i'm afraid. If someone is discharged because they want to be and there are no grounds for thinking she lacks capacity or is unwell enough to need a MHA assessment then she is absolutely 'off their books' and they will make no 'checks' whatsoever and there is no 'law' at all to say they would.

If she has been deemed 'Fraser competent', she is also allowed to make bad choices regarding her health, as would any other adult.

That right can only be removed by Drs who deem her incapable of making a decision for herself.

return is right, usually when a yp person disengages from CAMHS there would be no further monitoring and she would be off their books. A new referral would be needed to trigger further involvement.

You are in a very difficult position, if her current support isn't working for her are there other options for support that she might engage with better? Feeling they have to attend support is unlikely to achieve the best options for your dd. But I understand you want to make sure she is getting support and don't want her to walk away.

Could you research options for her together, talking through plus and minus of each one? Trying to get her to the position where she sees that something has to be done but she gets meaniful input into what that is? I know this is easier to say than do and options may be limited.

I had to have a lumbar puncture when I was about 14 maybe and the doctor wanted me to sign a consent form, in addition to my mum even though it wasn't legally binding because he thought I was old enough to decide for myself and he said he wouldn't feel comfortable doing it if I didn't. As long as your daughter won't be at risk from making her own choices I don't see why it should be a problem.

“Ok Nerr so if you had, say, a 16 year old with anorexia who wanted to refuse treatment and basically starve herself to death, you'd give her your blessing would you? Or a child with schizophrenia who wanted to come off meds against doctor's advice?”

This ^^. I would also ask this of QueenAravisOfArchenland

I assume that those saying the OP IBU don’t have teenagers with mental health problems. Don’t judge until you have walked in those shoes

Spot on RagingFemininist

“I would be surprised if many 16 year olds would let their parents make or attend their medical appointments”

Really? DD wouldn’t go on her own, even if she could. I have just asked her and she says she would prefer me to go with her. But then she has anxiety – and is undergoing treatment for it. Clearly most parents on this thread have teenagers who don’t suffer from anxiety/depression/self-confidence issues. I would ask you not to judge parents of teenagers who do.

“When dd got to 16, I stopped attending with her - I’d be in the waiting room, but not in the consultation. She’d come out and we’d go home together”

That’s what we do Jux, although DD sometimes wants me to come in with her to start with to outline what the issue is as she sometimes clams up and can’t say anything.

Lonicera - that's a ridiculous extrapolation. Someone starving themselves to death or someone with schizophrenia coming off meds at any age is treated exactly the same as a 16 year old.

As in; are they unwell enough to require a MHA assessment? Do they have capacity to make that decision? It doesn't matter what age they are. You could have a 45 year old anorexia or schizophrenic child and still be able to request a MHA assessment as nearest relative. You still wouldn't have the power to force them to do anything just as a parent.

You don't have fewer rights with a capacitous 16 year old wanting autonomy than you would with someone of any age.

That's not what the OP is saying. She's saying she feels like she'll have no power to make her DD accept MH services. And she doesn't currently have that power anyway.

As a parent of a 16 year old who is willing for you to talk to MH services, organise appts etc you still can't force them to attend or engage.

The OP would realistically have no increased control or powers.

patient.info/doctor/consent-to-treatment-in-children-mental-capacity-and-mental-health-legislation

You can force them to attend, but not engage. And if she will not engage, it will not help her anyway.

Legally any patient with schizophrenia if severe enough, can be legally forced to take medication. And adults with anorexia are admitted for treatment against their will.

brasty - people under certain MHA sections can be forced to have depot medication IN hospital. No one anywhere can be forced to take oral meditation because it's impossible.

They can't be forced to take IM medication in the community either. They could have a community treatment order saying they have to compy with IM medication but they can still refuse and the only recourse is to recall them to hospital which has a lot of red tape and even if you go past that, you have to prove they need to be admitted to hospital to have medication given without their consent and that also means there has to be free MH beds which are frequently not to be found anywhere in England.

You cannot force anyone to accept medication in the community even if they are on a community treatment order.

I thinks YABU however I can totally understand why you’re concerned. Hopefully by approaching all issues sensitively and reiterating you’re always there for her (as I’m sure you do already) she will continue to open up to you as she begins to take responsibility for her health. Also, if there was concern from the CAMHS (or any other mental health team for people of any age) about her not complying with MH appointments and they thought she was at a genuine risk to herself something would be done in line with the Mental Health Act x

And people on community treatment orders have already been in hospital under section, usually more than once hence the perceived need to place them on CTO.

Okay I misunderstood that. I actually think people should not be forced to take medication except in a few tiny circumstances. People have a right to damage their health. And the reality is most of us do to greater or lesser degrees.

I agree with you Brasty- people are usually only CTOs because they're potentially a risk to others which is a different scenario.

I think I’ll just have to allow her to sign the form and hope she makes the right choices . I can see her going down the route of getting sectioned

I don't see how you think you can prevent this . Legally she can sign the form whatever you think.

“I would be surprised if many 16 year olds would let their parents make or attend their medical appointments”

My mum used to come to some of my appts at that age - and I still go to some of hers with her. It's often easier with two people because that way whoever isn't talking can be remembering exactly what's being said.

I wouldn't sign the form in the circumstances you describe OP. I think there are a lot of ill-informed posters on your thread who can't envisage being in your shoes ( obviously we don't know any detail, quite rightly). If she is discharged from CAMHS, for example, she is unlikely to be seen again if she changes her mind, because of her age/waiting times. I would seek guidance from a mental health professional. Some people on this thread are probably well-meaning but clueless.

On the contrary, I think there are lots of exceptionally well-informed posts on this thread, including from several posters who I infer are probably doctors (Return must surely be a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, and with a username like BratsandTwats, that poster will be a gynaecologist).

I'm struggling with the basic premise of this thread. I'm a GP and I don't give 16-year-olds' parents forms with which to "sign away their rights", and I'd be very surprised if any GP does. If a 16-year-old is capacitous it wouldn't enter my head not to see them alone if they wished. If I felt they needed family support I'd encourage them to talk to their family, or to bring a friend or relative to appointments.

OP, I know you mean well, but privacy is very important to most teenagers. At 16 your daughter will want to start being more independent. The best thing you can do is make it clear you're 100% supportive, but give her some space. If you don't, you may push her away.

Thank you . Maybe the independence will help her. It’s going to be hard not knowing what’s going on all the time . Dose this mean she can be prescribed her meds for mental illness without me knowing? I worry about her being in charge of medication as she’s overdosed before