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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you are not in active labour and you have a partner who snores, you should not have him overnight on an Antenatal ward

71 replies

Belleende · 23/11/2017 22:59

I know there are polarised opinions on the presence of men overnight on Antenatal wards. I can see both sides. BUT if you know your DP has a snore like a 747, surely you send him home for a kip if you are not in pain/active labour. I know I did. He won't be back until the action starts.

Currently listening to two snorers in concert as well as a poor lady in quite a bit of pain.

So whilst the princes charming get some slumber, I will be producing a baby at some point in the next 24 hours on no sleep. Yeah!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 23/11/2017 23:02

Urgh.

Can you drop something hard on the floor to wake them up?

Allthewaves · 23/11/2017 23:03

It's bloody awful. I gave birth and was in a delivery room (wards were full) with another woman who's partner stayed. They talked and woke my snoozing newborn then he snored so loudly the mw came in and moved me to another room as she said there was no way I'd get any rest

Sancerresanwine · 23/11/2017 23:04

Awful. Hope all goes well Flowers

ludothedog · 23/11/2017 23:06

some people are so inconsiderate and so unaware of others. I'm so sorry. I hope you manage to get some sleep.

good luck for when your baby comes Flowers

MyBrilliantDisguise · 23/11/2017 23:07

I get SO angry about this. Women are in hospital to have a baby and they need to be as rested as possible. What the hell are these men doing there? And yes, in extreme cases it's completely different, but generally speaking they shouldn't be staying overnight.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 23/11/2017 23:08

Oh that’s crap! Men shouldn’t be on wards overnight at all, let alone when their partner isn’t even in labour. But to let non-patients who are snorers stay is not on. It nevers ceases to amaze me how little regard here is for women when it comes to their medical needs Sad

Vinorosso74 · 23/11/2017 23:09

I had another woman snoring her head off when I was on the antenatal ward. No YANBU they should go home. Hope all goes well!

CupanTaeAnois · 23/11/2017 23:10

Do you have earplugs? First thing that went in my bag!!

LS83 · 23/11/2017 23:14

Men shouldn't be overnight on an antenatal ward fullstop.

ZigZagandDustin · 23/11/2017 23:18

Just go over and wake them and ask them to keep it down! Or get a midwife to!

Bumdishcloths · 23/11/2017 23:22

My husband didn’t stay with me overnight as I sent him home to get a proper night’s sleep - but I’d much rather have told him to stay, as my anxiety was completely out of control and I had a totally miserable night without him.

BitOfFun · 23/11/2017 23:24

I'd complain to the staff. Now is not the time for you to be sapping your strength by confronting anybody directly.

Original poster
Belleende · 23/11/2017 23:24

I just went to ask if he could be shifted to the day room. It is the woman apparentlyShock.
Now I will be robbed of both sleep and righteous indignation. Arse.

They have said they will find me another bed if needs be, yeah!

OP posts:
ZigZagandDustin · 23/11/2017 23:27

Aw no. Not much to be done if it's another patient. 😣

Julie8008 · 23/11/2017 23:27

As a snorer, I sympathise. And laugh lol

CouldntCatchACold · 23/11/2017 23:27

The trouble is women have complained for years that their partners are left out by being sent home at night, they need support etc.
So now it's becoming acceptable for partners to basically have 24hr access regardless of the situation. Most of these men want also want access to the same amenities, food/drink and bedding as the patients!
Most women want their own partners there but not other people's Hmmso it's a no win situation on a maternity ward nowadays.
I feel for you OP Thanks

fucksakefay · 23/11/2017 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thecatsarecrazy · 23/11/2017 23:34

My husband wasnt allowed to stay. I was induced and had to stay in hospital. He was sent home and i couldn't phone him until i went to the delivery suite.

GottadoitGottadoit · 23/11/2017 23:36

I remember being on the ward and crying my eyes out because I knew I was snoring really loudly and keeping everyone else awake.

I was at least having a baby though Grin

x2boys · 23/11/2017 23:42

I don't agree with men being on antenatal wards overnight but I snore really loudly son may have kept people awake when i was having my babies Blush

...

Originalfoogirl · 23/11/2017 23:42

Had a similar issue when staying overnight with our daughter in hospital. Mother cheerfully announced father was staying the night because if she did, she wouldn’t sleep a wink. He then snored loudly all night and kepat the entire ward awake. She came in fresh as a daisy saying how wonderfully she had slept. “Lucky you” I said, your husband kept us all awake with his snoring. She laughed, I think she thought I was kidding 🙄

HermionesRightHook · 23/11/2017 23:45

I see both sides of this. I know it would be really hard to do but a really good compromise would be some sort of dormitory for partners - very small single or shared rooms to accommodate female partners too. Then they're near so if you really need your partner you can get to them, people who live far away can stay.

A small fee (waived for good reasons) would put a few off as well.

I know it's a ludicrously unworkable plan in the current climate but it would help.

AnUtterIdiot · 23/11/2017 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brasty · 23/11/2017 23:57

I have always been lucky when in hospital and never been kept awake by snoring. Unless I was the snorer!

Carriecakes80 · 23/11/2017 23:58

I'm taking ear-plugs if I have another lol. I asked my husband to stay, as I had gone into labour, then I was told I had pre-eclampsia, then I didn't have it, then I was 'minutes from giving birth', THEN I needed an emergency C-section, then I couldn't have it straight away after all, my head was in a daze, I was getting really stressed, and I would have had palpitations all night long if my husband hadn't been there to hold my hand. However, some woman complained that my husband was there and she said it made her uncomfortable being on the ward (he was only still there as my labour had kept stopping and starting) and we were sat behind our wee curtain listening to her saying 'I didn't pay my taxes so any bloke could sit in and hear me in pain...I'd like a side room please, one over there is empty...."
I felt really angry that she was being so rude, I was in agony and feeling crap, and she was downing my husband and I wanted to cry, until the lovely nurse doing the night shift came and got us and said we could go in the side room!
Hubby was over the moon as we now had a lovely telly, a phone a window, and the lovely nurse bought him a massive beanbag that he slept in like a baby lol. x