To really not want to do Christmas, at all?

[willowriverwander]

I know I sound like Scrooge here, but hear me out.

I just don't like it. I am vegetarian and I feel a bit ill at the thought of the turkeys being killed. I hate the "stuff your face" sort of mentality that's seen as acceptable. I mean, in Dickensian England, fair enough. People had nothing for the other 364 days. But today we are so greedy anyway. I actually find the food thing really stressful.

I like buying things for my children but again, I am so uncomfortable with this idea of them tearing through hundreds of pounds worth of gifts. I hate the way everywhere is crammed at this time of year.

Tentatively, I'm wondering about just having a tree, and then just a chilled out day with a nice dinner. Maybe one gift each.

We are going skiing in the New Year so that should be nice. I wish it was over Christmas itself!

Or will I be considered shocking by today's standards?

If it was just you, I'd say do whatever you want to do. But, you have children who have been used to doing christmas, so it would be cruel to suddenly stop celebrating it, especially now, with all the christmas things in the shops.

There's never any need to buy children hundreds of pounds of presents, just get them a few things that you know they'll like, include one or two things that they've asked for if they're not expensive.

You don't need to go overboard on food either. Have something nice for dinner and a few extra bits for nibbling.

Your children will be very disappointed and upset if you just announce that you're not going to have christmas this year (like you have on that other thread).
I don't know how you could do that to them.

You and your family are entitled to have your December/Christmas/holiday (whatever you want to call it) as you wish.

It's a personal choice.

My family are all together at Christmas. 15 of us, and actually the kids find that more exciting than presents - having their uncles/aunties/cousins to play with. We all exchange presents, but we are not drowning in consumerism -nor do we stuff ourselves like gluttons .

So I would say do what you want, your way. But nothing wrong with making a day special for the kids.You don't have to spend a load of dosh or cook a 7 course meal

But you're just describing what many people do.
Just do what you want.
It really is that simple.,

Although saying that, perhaps my kids are too young for present-buying stress.

16 month old likes boxes, wrapping paper and anything that makes noise.

5 (nearly 6) year old wrote his list for FC already.He asked for bubbles, a football, scooby doo socks, a bowl of spaghetti bolognese and some felt tips. And randomly a kiwi.

What you have suggested sounds like what most people do, surely?

You do sound a little overly concerned with what other people are doing. It really is none of your business if people want to eat nice food and give each other presents.

Why are you so concerned about other people's Christmases?

I think compromise is the word here - just do what you feel comfortable with - it’s your day - and it’s only 1 day after all - you don’t have to be fake and all jolly - but you can be relaxed and allow yourself and your family some treats and to relax and enjoy yourselves

Skiing in the New Year sounds v exciting and it’s soenthing to focus on

We sadly don’t have a large family and what we have half are very far away and /or difficult - so for us there is no endless cousins and grannies on Xmas day - it’s just the 4 of us - that said we have a pretty lovely Xmas day we just do whatever we want and it works - I do feel the comparisons with DC school mates who have 20 round for Xmas dinner or whatever but it is sadly what it is - we make it special for us and have had no complaints this far - and I think I feel more sad about this than the kids who have no real awareness as yet of what other people do

I do think as DC get bigger like you we will move towards holidaying after/during / before the Xmas period to try and make it a bit different and giving it a different emphasis - so perhaps if Xmas if v sad for you next year bring your holiday forward to say Boxing Day - I also once even travelled on Xmas eve - so I would say just look for other options to enjoy yourself and forget the general BS expectations around Xmas

I don't want to do Christmas at all

I've had a massive falling out with close family (the ones I go to for xmas), I'll be 8 months pregnant and I've just been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes I'll be testing my blood sugar after every meal for the foreseeable

I couldn't feel less festive.

However, I have a 5yo and an almost 3yo and I will make some effort for them.

Yanbu. I hate the OTT consumerfest/let’s forget that pretty much all of it was stolen from the pagans twatfest. We keep it simple, on our terms, and it’s fucking brilliant.

I’m veggie and Delia’s parsnip roulade is Xmas for me.

I am not veggie, but I have to say those massive mushrooms like manhole covers stuffed with garlic breadcrumbs and cream cheese and a dash of lea and perrins are just so lush! There are many variations, but in the spirit of the thread, keep it simple!

You have the Christmas that suits your family. That is all that matters, not what anyone else thinks.

Clearly Christmas will always be a fairly difficult time of year for your DH. I would imagine a relaxed family Christmas with just you and your children often being the best option. Some good family films, or games and walks can be just the ticket.

Food-wise, just do as much or as little as you all want. Nobody else needs to know whether you had turkey with all the trimmings or just wanted baked beans on toast. Who cares? The only people who need to be comfortable with it are you and your family.

Presents? Again, just do what works and you are comfortable with. You can get a fair bit of stuff quite cheaply that would interest young children.

So your moaning about they way people eat too much food and buy too many presents but your going on holiday skiing some people would say that is excessive too, I mean nobody absolutely needs to go skiing do they.

Look you don’t like Christmas and you want to be miserable about it, fine but many people do enjoy it. You don’t have to have massive amounts of food, just buy what you need. You don’t have to buy humdreads of presents, you can just buy a few gifts that will be very much appreciated.

For me it’s the only time of the year all 30 members of my family are together and I look forward to it, I like the food, drink and the celebration. I like giving gifts to people.

Your Christmas sounds lovely! Nice dinner, one gift each and a tree? Sounds like Christmas to me!

The huge turkey with hundreds of different sides and hundreds of pounds worth of toys for dcs is definitely not mandatory. I don’t think many of my friends actually go in for that at all, unless they’ve got masses of relatives coming over.

Our 3yo DD will get one ‘Santa’ gift, plus one or two small things.

I’ve got DH a board game and a bottle of wine.

We may, or may not, go to SIL’s for a relaxed ‘normal’ roast dinner, like she would make for her family on a normal Sunday. If we decide to stay at home, dd, Dh and I will have a nice meal together and will pop into sil’s for a cup of tea / present exchange, (we’ve done secret Santa among the adults and will buy a gift each for nieces and nephews, so no crazy number of things for anyone to open).

Fwiw, I remember my mum going to so much trouble for Christmas dinner and it looked bloody hard work! She used to get quite stressed out about it tbh. We did have big family Christmases though, with quite a lot of people over for the day. I think that’s a thing of the past for a lot of people, (like me). I like spending the day with my immediate family and anyway, most of my extended family live overseas.

Thanks. Difference with the skiing is we aren't going because of an arbitrary date on the calendar if you see what I mean.

Don’t attach importance to the 25th Dec if it doesn’t feel right to you. We probably only do anything on that date once every 10 years.

Well, the day is what you make of it really. A friend was going on about how sad if people do not celebrate the day and have people round etc. It is one of the few days around Christmas that I am not working so I cannot really go anywhere. I don't care. I would rather be on my own that with someone who has too much to drink, gets arsey and roars at me like she did when I did stay at hers. Wasn't even about me!

I can listen to my carols and stuff on the radio, read my books, watch videos etc etc all in perfect peace. Yay! Haven't decided what to get i to eat but as I am pesci - it won't be turkey!

OP, do whatever you want. Make it a day to enioy with your family. Make your own traditions!

There have been some insane threads lately with people spending what I'd consider obscene amounts of money on presents. The £5 rule came into effect in my family when I was a teenager in the 2000's. To me that is normal. I have never suffered! Gifts are lovely but not the point, it's experiences that are remembered and treasured in years to come.

We've literally never had turkey for Xmas dinner. The most memorable Xmas dinner was a picnic out in the Lakes. We walked up a bit of a hill and sat looking out over a lake. We had it completely to ourselves. Thermos of coffee, various treats in tupperware. It was so much fun and felt really special. I would love to do that again.

Do what you want op.
I’m from a culture that don’t celebrate Christmas but we still join in and have a fab day.
We only do stockings for the kids and have a big family get together. Everyone enjoys it.
My kids love the build up too and we go and see the lights, go to panto, join in with friends that do celebrate Xmas.

The most memorable Xmas dinner was a picnic out in the Lakes. We walked up a bit of a hill and sat looking out over a lake. We had it completely to ourselves. Thermos of coffee, various treats in tupperware. It was so much fun and felt really special. I would love to do that again.

Sounds incredible!

No OP. I don't. Please do explain why your conspicuous consumption is so superiot r than everyone elses', due to the date you do it on

I find Christmas to be a miserable time of year. All the awful christmas TV ads constantly repeating, eveyone asking if you have done a xmas shop, the nagging relatives asking why they haven't got their card yet. Buying persents no one likes, wasting money, getting fat, stressing. No living up to the 'fantasy' Christmas is very depressing.

You feel ill about the turkeys being killed?
Just employ whatever method you use the rest of the year.
According the British Turkey, we buy 10 million turkeys for Xmas.
According to the British Poultry Council we eat 2.2 million chicken per day

I do find it odd that you don't just have the Xmas you want to have. I've not had a turkey dinner in years! (though I'm partial to Pret's Xmas sandwiches in December)

She’s a vegetarian Ellisandra or did you miss that??

No I didn't miss it. I was a vegetarian for 7 years, and I didn't find that Xmas gave me any more pause for thought about other peope's meat consumption that any other day of the year. I'm surprised it stands out for the OP.

For me Christmas means time with my family. Work's usually quiet....finally. So we sit by the tree and do jigsaws and read lovely Christmas books, eating mini mince pies.... It's super cosy and I love it.

I hate the overspending and buy only a few gifts, all from my high street. Food also comes from a few select shops.