AIBU to get butt-hurt about pples reaction to my pregnancy ?!..

[Littlehouseonthepraririe]

Am pregnant with my 6th! I want to share the good news on facebook, not with a fanfare or some obscure balloon riddled/ cryptic sign (tho I do enjoy other pples announcements like that)! But just with a standard f.b post as we have a lot of friends /fam all over the world (and mainly because I'm excited)!

However, when I shared the news of our 5th along with the congratulations I had a Lot of OMG ur mental/ mad etc comments.

Would I look weird if along with sharing the news I tagged on a little light hearted something like ' we know the Waltons life isn't for everyone and we might seem a bit bonkers, but we are really excited to introduce a new member to our clan'.. In the hope that it will ward off What's Wrong With You type comments ?!?

We have a large home for lots of children and my OH works from home so the children aren't lacking in time or space etc and they are always asking for more siblings, and this is the life I've Always wanted, so I don't really Get why pple would write comments like I had last time..
I mean I have lots of friends travelling in the back of beyond or moving up the corporate ladder , which personally is my idea of hell, but I am genuinely happy that they are happy and following their dreams, so obviously just write positive, congratulatory comments when they announce they've landed in a new country / got a promotion..
Am I being butt-hurty and overly sensitive unnecessarily , and would it look rude for me to write something jokey in an attempt to ward off the bat shit crazy comments..?

I'm still trying to get my head round 'butt hurt'. WTAF? Aside from that, seriously, grow up. In the grand scheme of things, no one besides your nearest and dearest cares that you're pregnant again.

We thought about a third would have liked it but couldn't in all conscience do it.

Yes. My husband would love to have had three or four children (he's one of the science-aware types who could easily live in a state of cognative dissonance) but I feel a bit queasy at the idea of having a third and couldn't do it. Although I had a wobble at 40 when I hadn't held a baby in years.

Go to Mumbai or Cairo or similar, this will cure you of your desire to have more children.

Another way of saying all that, by having 2 children or fewer you absolutely are leading from the front.

Yes. And we owe a debt of gratitude to those who have had 1 child, or none at all.

Exactly museum. Still remember the mother and 6 kids living in a railway station in Delhi

The environmental argument is a ridiculous criticism. Yes six has more impact than two, but there are an infinity of ways any one individual might consume more than another, and we don't live in a society where everyone is expected to have identical lives.

The way we deal with environmental issues is by constraints imposed by national governments and international treaties, not by shaming individuals who in one aspect of their lives may have consumed more than the people having a go.

If limiting children were a sensible option, we would have a government limit, or at least government measures to discourage it. We don't, because the government knows birth rate is not a problem.

Birth rate has dropped to and even fallen below replacement everywhere in the world that isn't very, very poor. (And it will fall in those places as soon as they are no longer so poor.)

The number of people on the planet rising is not because more babies are being born, but mainly because fewer people are dying. Once even the poorest parts of the world join the rich in living until 85, the world population will have peaked.

The peak population of the world has already been calculated, we will get there some time this century. We don't need to worry about the birth-rate, we do need to worry about how best to sustain that number of people.

If limiting children were a sensible option, we would have a government limit, or at least government measures to discourage it. We don't, because the government knows birth rate is not a problem.

No. The government doesn’t for two reasons.

1. an adherence to the pyramid model of generational population increase to plan economic things like pensions and national insurance. Right now the system wouldn’t work with stable populations, which is why we are importing shitloads of third world cheap labour. Our economic system is propped up by it.

1. The measures needed to truly enforce population control are extremely unpleasant and frankly illegal in the western world. Forced abortion and huge fines were common in China. They can’t do that here.

They have, however, introduced measures like restricting benefits past the second child.

Populations probably will peak and gradually decline - the problem is that it’s going to take a few hundred years, during which we continue to wreck the planet. As we go through the changes needed to stabilise (first that bulge of young people, then increasing consumption as middle classes expand in countries getting less poor, then eventually a top heavy ageing population) we are going to face major problems.

It is a huge issue.

Exactly antidae measures to force people to limit family size would contravene human rights legislation I would think - not an issue in China...

That's absolute nonsense firewall. Every person on the planet, regardless of their habits, depletes resources, simply to keep themselves fed, clothed and sheltered. More people equals more pressure on the planet. Simple.

There's very good reason why governments don't enshrine this in law, as outlined by others.

I think the only way we see population control work in an ethically bearable way is to give monetary incentive. So tax credits etc that motivate people to have fewer kids or we can just keep raping the planet until the ecosystem collapses to such a horrific extent that we endure famine.

YABU to make a personal announcement on social media and try to engineer/influence people's responses.

All that's going to do is increase the amount of fake "Congratulations hun, really happy for you xxx" type of posts.

If you and your family are happy, that's all that matters.

My favourite response is normally
"Don't you own a tv"
:-)
My friend has 7 and it's her life and her choice,who cares what anyone else thinks.
Congrats

I am quite surprised that there’s been less talk of food in Brexit...you know being on an island that isn’t particularly good at producing food and can’t produce nearly enough for it’s population. Being part of the EU was a buffer to that risk. We are quite literally going to be own our to sort out food if push comes to shove. I don’t think anyone realised what a collapse in food production would mean for a vulnerable country like the UK.

I think the only way we see population control work in an ethically bearable way is to give monetary incentive. So tax credits etc that motivate people to have fewer kids or we can just keep raping the planet until the ecosystem collapses to such a horrific extent that we endure famine.

Agreed. I'd be very pleased to see a reverse child benefit/tax credit system whereby parents assume full responsibility for the cost of a child (novel idea, I realise) and childless people receive credits.

Only on MN do people with 6 kids have £60k a year jobs they can do from home, meaning no need for benefits and which clearly also involve flexible hours so dad can play with DC etc.

My grandmother had 6 children and 11 pregnancies. Her heart as weakened by childhood illness and she shouldn't have had more than 1 child. But pre birth control women had little choice. I'm sure if she were still alive she'd be incredulous at anyone choosing to have 6 nowadays.

I have six AND I am a single parent! It's awesome!

People often ask how I do it, but most people are in awe. The most hurtful comments are from friends saying things like "well really, who wants a woman with 6 kids!!!"

Do you work, Debbs?

People often ask how I do it, but most people are in awe.

I'm skeptical. Most people generally just expect that parents would look after their children, they don't think you're amazing for not doing a shit job or abandoning them.

Every pg I've had a negative reaction from people close to us which has been hurtful.

Even first pg near 30s solvent and married for two years .

Some of the comments have been pretty nasty not just haven't you got a TV - we put off telling with second and third pg till past second scan.

When children are here everyone been fine - oddly when we stopped at 3 everyone seem to know better than us that we had stopped and then act disappointed when it became clear we had. People are inconsistent and strange.

Congraulations on your pg - perhpas if Fb is going to upset you wait till you feel stronger or get someone else to do it.

I love some posters constant use of "everyone". "Everyone" is categorically not as interested as you imagine them to be.

I do think anyone who can look after 6 kids on their own is amazing to be honest I honestly struggle with one.

I love some posters constant use of "everyone"

You right sloppy inexact use of language in my post.

I meant family when I said everyone and by family immediate family our parents mainly and lesser extent our siblings.

They were only people we actually announced to everyone else it came up naturally in conversation or sometimes didn't and if they didn't see us for a while were surprised we had another child or I was visibly very pg.

They were they only one who were negative though – everyone else who I suspect were not that interested manage to ignore or say congratulations.

I suppose it depends on who on Op Facebook we just have family Op could have everyone she has every met on there in which case there would be a lot less interest.

In a way I think it's quite admirable to give a big fuck you to the pressures of society. We're all just one small speck with short lives and doing what makes you happy regardless of potential effect on the planets future makes me think of someone secure and content, happy to spend their own little speck time living an authentic life.

All this hand wringing over environmental impacts suggests living your life with a level of anxiety, or superiority (certainly seen within a forum environment when these discussions happen) and suggests Someone living a life of being hard work for other people to deal with, and somewhat unlikable.

That said, I think the point about the attention you can give to large families is valid and pertinent

Yeah who gives a shit really

Sadly I think this is a majority view.

doing what makes you happy regardless of potential effect on the planets future makes me think of someone secure and content, happy to spend their own little speck time living an authentic life.

That, in a nutshell, is why we have problems. Fuck you, fuck the planet, I’m authentic

Yes- but again they are probably spending their time happier than you are, really