..to be depressed by the man-haters on AIBU?

[Polidori]

So many threads on AIBU get me down. They are full of posters who think that men can't see mess. That men can't be expected to know whether they have consent. That men can't be expected to parent. Men can't be expected to tell the difference between harassment and friendliness. Men can't work washing machines. Men need to have respectful behaviour clearly explained to them by their partners. Men can't be expected to figure out what 50% of the housework is.
These women have such a horribly low opinion of men.
Thank goodness, there are also feminists on here who expect men to be equals with the ability to behave as capable adults.

Rubbish. The posts are not from women who THINK that men can't see mess or they don't parent or work washing machines etc. Many women who post are living with men who are fucking lazy arseholes who DON'T OR WON'T see mess or parent or do washing.

It's not in their imagination they are LIVING it.

Yabu, I've hardly seen any posts like that.

I happen to agree op

I agree op, along with the hideous phrase, you know what men can be like

Do you have any examples OP ? Often women get together for a general moan, but hardly depressing, possibly much the same as when men moan about women. Its natural. Not everyone wears halo's.

Silvery surfer, my point is that men can see mess, work the washing machine etc., perfectly well. They are choosing not to if they are lazy arseholes. My beef is with text idea that men are such simpletons that you can't expect any better from them. Yes, they're making excuses but in doing so they are expressing a much worse opinion of men than that expressed by feminists.

Primamadonna AIBU is full of posters telling women they are being urged reasonable to expect a man to, for example, make his own sandwich. It's not the ones "moaning" (your word, not mine) that I object to. It's the ones making excuses for the men based on the idea that they can't be expected to do anything at all for themselves or for others.

Haven't seen any man hating. Also the examples you give aren't man hating! They're sexist ways to excuse a man behaving like a man child, at the expense of the female in the partnership. So actually the examples you gave are woman hating if anything.

I'm not sure where halos come into it?

I don't think those who complain about the men in their lives being lazy arseholes hate men at all. I think they just blindly accept it as that's just "typical man" behaviour. Pisses me right off but I don't think they hate those men.

RemainOptimistic - they certainly are that too. They seek to persuade women to carry on doing all the work and their means of doing this is to present men as helpless fools.

YABU

Yabgoady

Snuffkin - it's not the ones complaining about the men that I'm objecting to. Read it again. It's the ones making excuses for men that portray men as fools. Thereby excusing them from blame.

I agree polidori

Im not sure about the hate bit, but i do think that the types of poster you mention think that men are very stupid and have a very low opinion of them

User I'm not being goody at all. I'm just calling out these posters who think they are defending men but are actually denigrating us. And at the same time I'm pointing out the irony that whereas these posters will sometimes characterise feminists as man-haters, actually the feminists are the ones assuming we do in fact have the ability to do housework and recognise content etc.

*goady not goody!

YANBU. So many of these same women thought the man was so wonderful that they married and procreated with them so one might wonder where it all goes so very wrong and when the opinion shifts.

As a mother of a newly born son I find it fucking worrying.

Also lets not forget that women can be lazy arseholes too.

Your second post made more sense @polidori. Initially I thought you were having a go at women who were simply moaning about men. I see where you are coming from. I agree no-one should enable a man's uselessness by passing it off as being 'just a man'.

Seeing men as incapable of doing everyday chores/parenting does not equal hating them.

Plenty of women love their incapable partners.

So is it that men are repulsed by mess yet refuse to do it, or is it they just dont see it as mess and aren't bothered by it / dont want to waste their lives being ocd. Making them bastards because they are not following the instructions given to them by their overlords wives. I dont think they are all the former.

When you get married dont you have to tolerate some 'quirks' of your partner. I am sure men put up with things they dont like their wife doing. Shouldn't it go both ways?

I saw the title and thought I was about to come on here to give you a mouthful about feminism not being about hating men, and then I read your post and smiled! You're absolutely right, there are so many people ready to jump in and defend men's crap behaviour, behaviour that I'm sure they wouldn't let other women get away with. The message often seems to be "women put your feelings aside because putting everyone else first is far more important".