Genuinely don't know if I'm AIBU - comments about DC

[puglife15]

So this weekend we had a GP visiting and they said the following:

That DC1 (4) has picked up (undesirable in their eyes) local accent and his cousins who go to private school now sound so posh (previously has said how nicely they speak)

That DC1 gurns awfully when he talks and how they hope he grows out of it as no one will want to go out with him when he's older, followed by impression of him when he's older saying "will you go out with me?" while doing really OTT pulling faces (he has IMO a wonderfully expressive face, i wouldn't describe it as gurning)

That DC1's farts stink and moving away from him. He's had a tummy bug last week and was letting some real stinkers off to be fair.

I can't work out if I'm being really oversensitive taking offence and being pissed off or whether these are pretty harmless comments. All said in front of DC if that makes any difference.

If you're not sure what to do with them, have a read through the archives at Captain Awkward, looking specifically for how to deal with rude visitors. I agree with your DH that it's not worth emailing them. Deal with it when it happens. Give the awkward back to them so when they make one of their comments, point out how rude it was and let them feel uncomfortable, etc. You can do this.

Thanks OnTheRise

The gurning thing is completely unreasonable. And in front of him is hurtful, just like any other criticism of appearance/ mannerisms. Plus I think it's weird to discuss a 4 year old in terms of physical attractiveness in a dating context.

The accent thing is snobbery.

They sound casually mean, which is sadly likely to be hard to change.

Sounds to me like passive-aggressive bullying of you and your dc......they probably think they can 'shame' and bully you into an RP/posh way of being/lifestyle.

You should just let rip at them in future - they obviously don't care for your feelings.

Not unreasonable at all. I would have told them to leave, that's a form of bullying (mocking his facial expressions) made me want to cry reading that! Poor little one.
If it was kids doing in in school they would be bullies, so if anything it's worse from grandparents who are meant to love him!
Even the farts thing is unreasonable, making him feel uncomfortable when he may be too small to realise that what he's doing is undesirable. ESPECIALLY if he's been ill.
I reckon they were probably making the smells and blaming the kid!

Kids with regional accents are bloody fab. It's also quite an out dated view to think you need to be RP to get anywhere in life.

The ironic thing is he really doesn't have the local accent...

I’d love to live in TwitterQueens world where my GM wouldn’t make horrible comments like this.

She says very derogatory things mainly because she’s rude, not very intelligent & full of her own self importance. She has to have an opinion or the last word on everything.

Yes I think you're right Crackles. I must have a very romanticised view of GPs. Mine died when I was v young and my ex was NC with his parents so my children have never really had them. My mother and stepfather were lovely but too old to do anything but be children themselves if you get what I mean, ie they never looked after my children or did anything with them.

My maternal grandmother was like that Twitter - I was probably closer to her in my early teens than I was my parents she was just a wonderful person. Paternal GF was also lovely and although I had a rough relationship at times with my paternal GM growing up she became truely unbearable when I had DS.

Speaking to my DM it’s all along the same vein as the criticism she received when she was raising us. DS is younger that OPs DC but I’m going to have to be really firm when she comments negatively about DS/my parenting as I don’t want him hearing it.