To wonder how people manage to afford to have a baby without a partner?

[redandgreenfern]

I know benefits help those on a low income, but if you have a moderate income plus mortgage, childcare and other bills, it doesn't seem possible? Has anybody actually managed it?

I think people are being a bit harsh on the op. If you're single and work and can just get by on your salary but you want a child, so perhaps will have to go down the sperm donor route then it's a reasonable question to ask.
There are obviously lots of ways people cope. I've been thinking the same myself. I don't think I could afford to have a child on my own. It's bloody hard. If I accidentally got pregnant then it would be slightly different, but making the active choice when you don't have enough support or money is another thing altogether.
I don't have the answer op. Depends if you have time to wait to meet someone.
It's a tough choice

I'm not a single mum but I really object to the stereotyping of single mums as being either low earners or on benefits.

Having said that, I think the op is worded badly and the op was asking in relation to her own situation.

Yes, it's the sperm donor route I was wondering about. I earn a bit too much for benefits but not enough to support a house and a child in full time childcare so it's a bit of a catch 22. No one is objectifying single mums.

You would get child benefit if £20 per week. (Not much but “every little helps”.

You may get other benefits (particularly help with childcare) but probably best not to rely on them with the government being what it is.

Childcare is usually (at least partly) tax free.

One option is to work out how much you would need and then ensure that you have enough in savings. If you can get to child being 3 then childcare gets a lot cheaper with the 15/30 free hours. (And then school kicks in which makes life much more complicated but a hell of a lot cheaper.)

So - you earn 1900 a month but really only need £1400 before childcare or £2400 after childcare. Also get £80 for child benefit.

1 years maternity leave - suppose you average £800 a month (depends massively on your package obviously but I have to start somewhere!) plus £80for child benefit. So 12 months maternity leave costs you 12 * 520 = £6240.

Two years of childcare before the 30 free hours kicks in is 24 * 420 = £10080.

So you’d need about £16000 in savings which will take you 32 months to save. So make a plan to start ttcing in a couple of years after some mad saving.

It is also worth looking at part time working and compressed working as the UK tax system and the tax-free childcare system both favour the part time worker.

My life is the same as @CoconutGal it can be done, it was such a hard five years. I was w student nurse, worked at nights and my parents had dd. Some weeks I went around Tesco with a calculator. Christmas was hard and I got into debt.
I met dp, who had no children and a house, I’m very lucky as we are now financially stable. Those five years I’ll never forget and the lessons I learnt will not go.
I live very frugally now, and it’s been very hard to adjust!!!
Dp would buy a brand new car, I want to look at bangers!!!

I have more money now than I did when Exh was in the picture. We didn’t have spare cash for holidays but I now take my DC on an annual holiday, for example.

Exh was a financial drain and didn’t earn very much money.

It all depends doesn't it. Maybe they are extremely successful, maybe their parents provide free childcare, maybe they have wealthy parents or they won the lottery. There will be others that really struggle and scrape by, which is no different to two parent families.

In all honesty, I think I'd end up back home with my parents so I would have free childcare

Wow. That's a massive assumption. Gobsmacked.

OP on that salary you would still get some help for childcare. I am on more than you and as a single mum of three still get a payment to cover some childcare.

It's declined over the years as I have earned more/spent less but worth checking entitled to website.

And yes I guess childcare help is benefits but I pay decent levels of tax in and long term will pay it back!

*In all honesty, I think I'd end up back home with my parents so I would have free childcare

Wow. That's a massive assumption. Gobsmacked.*

Errrr, no. I was just thinking about what I personally would do if I became a single parent. I've got very young dc and do a job that requires a lot of unpredictable hours so I couldn't pay for the amount of childcare I need by myself at the moment without any family or support nearby. In the short-term, moving home would be my best option.

I work full-time. I don't claim any benefits. I earn very little but I have paid off my mortgage, have no debts, no credit card and my childcare costs are low. Plus I'm very good at budgeting and I don't buy pointless tat. I'm thankful every day that I'm not dependent on a man.

If you are planning on having a baby without a partner and don't want to be dependent on benefits then really you need to plan and prepare.

Get a better job, save, move to a cheaper property or remortgage so your payments are lower. Reduce your outgoings, decide what your priorities.

I earnt a reasonanble salary for a single person, by no means a high earner. But I waited a long time, planned and prepared before I was in a secure enough position to adopt.

Or wait until you have a committed partner to father the child and raise it in a stable union? Much better for children.

crumbs1 fuck off.

You don’t know her circumstances. Not everyone finds that committed relationship at a child bearing age!

Crumbs what if the op is a lesbian?

@Crumbs1
I would put many words in here for you but I would get an email from mnhq.
You get the drift

Crumbs mine was a 21 year marriage before he turned. Is that committed enough 😂

You never know!

I think children do need stability. But a stable home and stable income are more reliable than having a partner. There aren't enough committed men to go around and nobody knows if their committed partner is going to stay committed. However, you can make sure you have a solid home and dependable source of income.

I manage it (just about) on a student loan and tax credits.

I wish more people
Planned ahead like you op and was realistic about what they can and cannot afford.

Op you may well find you were entitled to tax credits which would help considerably with childcare costs.

If not, then I managed when ex left (and before CMS made him cough up) by - tax free childcare vouchers; savings; working compressed hours (so didn’t have to pay a full week of childcare);
It was tough though, I had to be very careful (mortgage was £950 and childcare for two -one over 3- for 3 days/week was about £1000 a month)

How old are you OP?

It’s exhausting and financially / workwise irs stressful and draining having small children.

If you have time focus on meeting someone to share it all with you. Children with dad’s input benefit as well (providing dad is decent etc) same as a lesbian 2nd partner. Shares the load and less pressure etc too

3 of my friends were similar when around 32yr and started thinking about sperm etc. 3yr later all 3 met lovely guys and 2 are pregnant. Things more quicker in mid to later 30s (don’t know you’re age)

Well sorry Swizzle but. The not everyone is perfect.
Someone could be earning 100k per year and 2 years down the line they could be on the dole.
In this life anything can happen.

Before ds started school got tax credits which paid about half of childcare costs, once he started school, only help was child benefit ( no maintenance from exh). What helps me is I own my home, so mortgage less than rent.

crumbs1 no need to be such a wanker