To resign myself to one child?

[Xfactorstar]

Hi.
I have a 5 week old conceived with clomid after 18 months ttc. Baby born nearly 6 weeks early but well. Obviously im a bit traumatised by early delivery and have been worrying about him. I have a history of depression and started Prozac again a few weeks ago. I'm also terrified of another early baby and unsure if my mental health could cope with ttc pregnancy and early birth again.
AiBu to resign myself to one child?

Relax. Enjoy.

One child is fine.

What will be will be.

Congratulations on your baby.

5 weeks old? Far too early to make that kind of decision. Let your MH stabilise and give yourself time to mentally and physically heal.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

For the love of all that's holy that is not a decision you need to make now! Please take those thoughts and questions and mentally park them for at least 6 months if not a year.

Enjoy your baby, take time to recover and adjust, physically mentally and emotionally.

Congratulations!

way too early to be thinking about such a decision. enjoy your baby and give yourself time to adjust to being a new mum.

There is plenty of time to think about another child in the future.

and congratulations

I'm 31 with fertility issues I don't think another is coming my way

YABU to ‘resign’ yourself to anything right now. Your baby has just arrived. Live in the moment.

Way too early to even think about it, just enjoy what you have for now.

31 not 51.
This baby is really tiny. It's hard. You've just given birth. Your hormones and MH can be all over the place.
Give yourself time.

Get your thyroid checked. My son was born 3 months premature due to an undiagnosed thyroid condition. I also used to suffer from anxiety and depression which for me were due to undiagnosed hypothyroidism. I'm now pregnant again and looking like I am going to make it to term this time. I spent 2 years getting my health back on track prior to conceiving and I think that was crucial for a healthy second pregnancy. It's very early days for u but I would get some tests done and try to figure out if there are underlying issues for u. Hormone panel and full thyroid panel and go from there. Best of luck

I don't think I'm cut out for another one

What’s going on @Xfactorstar ? Are you feeling OK?

I feel fine. I'm just being realistic about the situation

The bit that concerns me would be that you’re ‘resigning’ yourself to one child.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having one if you only want one but having a premmy and all the struggles shouldn’t be the reason.
I’m currently on 3rd (and last!)
No1 took 5yrs to conceive on various treatments clomid and Iui eventually worked. She was born 6weeks early and those weeks in hospital were the hardest in my life. She is now a perfectly healthy 4yr old that has overcome every obstacle she was initially faced with. I had both pre and postnatal depression but worked through these and certainly feel stronger now for it.
Baby no.2 took over 2yrs to conceive, again on clomid and iui. I knew I wanted 2 so we spoke to docs once I felt up to it. The road to conceiving was no less difficult and of course for that pregnancy I believed the entire time that I’d have another perm, she arrived over 2weeks late! I went as far as your physically allowed to.
Baby no3 was a complete surprise and not planned at all. I found out at 4months gone and am now 35weeks so have just about beaten where DD1 was born, I won’t feel ‘safe’ until I hit 37weeks but I think that comes with having had one early already.
Sorry for the ramble I just mean to say there is no need to believe that because something has happened once that it definitely will again. I’ve had very mild anxiety throughout this pregnancy but I do feel better equipped to deal with it having ‘got through the other side’ before.

Your baby is 5 weeks old. It's all new and scary, put tim out of your mind until dc is 1 then review the situation

OP please don't think about the future at the moment just concentrate on the next few hours. Enjoy your gorgeous newborn and snuggly evening. Who knows how you'll feel in a few months but don't think about it now x

If you think about it, you’re not even at your due date!

It seems like you’re ignoring the happiness of where you are right now. Thinking about ‘what ifs’. Enjoy your real baby rather than thinking about a future that you simply can’t do anything about right now.

Not "cut out" for another? Are you struggling? Are you getting help other than pills?

Come back in 6 months. Don't even think about it right now.

Congratulations!

Enjoy your baby.
Give yourself some time.
No need to 'resign' yourself to anything just yet although there's nothing wrong with having one child.

You may be overthinking things a tad - totally understandable, but just breathe and cuddle and marvel and start thinking about what size of family you would ideally have in, oh I dunno, a year's time?

I'm not struggling with him and have support. I think my mental health is too poor for another

It’s really early to make any decisions. If thinking about it is troubling you then you could do what I did. I thought about it every 6 months. So I was able to think, ‘no, definitely not now’ and then park it for 6 months.

Eventually we did have a second DD, but didn’t decide to until DD1 was 3. Having DD2 was amazing - it all went brilliantly and was so different.

But if we had never decided to have a second child, I don’t think I’d have been ‘resigned to it’. DD1 is amazing and while she was an ‘only child’ I really objected to the word ‘only’ as there was nothing ‘only’ about her. It wasn’t until I had her that I really appreciated that becoming a parent isn’t about having the family you imagined.

Please don’t waste the lovely time you have now with your gorgeous baby worrying about what may or may not happen. Your age means nothing at all, I have friends who have had their first and second children in their 40s with no issuers at all.

You have the greatest gift in your arms right now, savour every moment!

I am not trying to suggest you're not coping. How your mental health is won't always be how it is a few weeks after giving birth.

You should try not to think about it at a for at least6 months, and at 6 months you should probably decide it would be better not to think about it till your baby is one. Honestly you might never want another one, they might turn 5 and go to school and
You think it's the right time for another one. So many options and so much time! Right now, you have two important jobs- look after the baby you only just had and look after yourself.

Oh OP. I was really upset a few weeks in with my first DC, just because I couldn't imagine going through it all again (and I had nothing really to complain about with the pregnancy and birth other than a tear). I was posting about how I would cope with only having one dc when I'd always imagined at least 2.

I'm now expecting dc2 even after fertility issues and really looking forward to it. I realise how mad the first 3 months were!
The past 5 weeks has probably felt like a lifetime but it really is too early to start thinking like that. I understand that you're trying to feel a bit more in control of your future but try and live in the moment and enjoy the good parts (of which there will be more and more - it gets better). Congratulations!