To feel I've ruined DHs birthday?

[TinyLittleFeet]

Dh turned 25 today. We had planned to spend the day together as a family (we have DD who's 2) at a local pottery place then were going for a meal at DHs favourite restaurant this evening with MIL, DHs best friend and another of DHs work colleagues (he works with his BF) who lives with his BF tonight. Tomorrow we'd promised to go see Santa with DD then go see the Christmas Lights and do a bit of shopping.

But this morning I woke up with excruciating ear pain, stood up and was sick. DH insisted on my mum taking me to the walk in centre (DH doesn't drive, I do but he was worried about me driving so asked my mum to take me). Was up there most of the morning to be told I have a bad ear infection, now on antibiotics and I need to rest.

Told DH to ring MIL and go to the meal without me but he didn't want to, saying he'd rather look after me. He's kept DD entertained all day and kept me topped up with cups of tea and painkillers, kept DD away from our bedroom (we're in a flat) so I could sleep and ignored the "no cats on the bed" rule so DCat could snuggle against me.

I feel awful that I've ruined his birthday. Lying in bed still in pain, trying to decide how to make it up to DH when I'm better. He was really looking forward to some time together with me and DD as usually one of us is working on Saturday, so I feel even more awful.

AIBU to think I've ruined his birthday? And if so how can I make it up to DH when I'm better?

I think he’s more worried about you than his birthday. Rest, recover and don’t beat yourself up. You can do a day out when you’re feeling up to it.

Sorry should have added no I don’t think you’ve ruined his birthday.

Yeah, I guess the planned day was ruined but that's what happens when someone gets ill. If it had been him with the earache he probably wouldn't have wanted to go ahead with it either. Or if your dd had been poorly she wouldn't have been up to it. Happens to all of us at some point.

He is not a precious bunny wunny. He will cope with his birthday in tatters. He sounds like a top bloke. I am sure you make it up to him every day without any extra on top.

If he felt his birthday was ruined, I'd tell you he was a self centred cock who needs to grow up.

He's a grown adult. Grown adults do not worry about ruined birthdays, when plans change through illness.

Stop feeling guilty, it's a non event.

I'm not even going to praise him for not minding because that's a bare minimum not something special.

Get well soon!

He sounds lovely OP, a Birthday re do when your better would be nice
Get well soon

You haven't ruined his birthday. It is not what was planned but he seems to have taken it all in his stride and hopefully tomorrow you will be well enough to have that family time together.

Hi,
Ear infections are awful,I feel for you.
It's pointless(but understandable)worrying as it won't affect the outcome and will only stop you resting as your mind will be churning.
Decide to do the whole planned day as soon as you can arrange the same days off then put it aside and get some sleep if you can.
I hope you feel better really soon,I expect your little cat can't believe his luck!😊🐱

You can celebrate his birthday next time you're both off work on a Saturday. It's just a date on a calendar. You both sound like lovely, caring people.

My DP had an excruciating toothache on my birthday. I just wanted him to feel better. Wasn't fussed at all about cancelling plans etc.

He sounds lovely. Tell him you appreciate and plan a similar day out for a weekend soon. Can you give him his present?

You haven’t ruined his birthday, sounds like you’re both loving and considerate people , as a PP said have a re-do when you can

He's had his present; a graphics tablet, a new coat and a box of mint matchmakers (his favourite).

Ps hope you feel better soon

He sounds like a lovely man to be more worried about you than his birthday. Get well, then have a nice treat together.

Unless you contracted the ear infection on purpose, then you have not been responsible for ruining his birthday. Hopefully you will be able to celebrate many more together.
This is now the second post I have read today from over-dramatic posters with ear infections - they must be putting something very powerful in the antibiotics at the moment!

He can have another birthday when you are feeling better. If it's good enough for the Queen....

Get well soon.

He obviously appreciated the plans you had made for his birthday, but appreciates you more. You both sound like caring and considerate people. Get well soon.

I think what he did is totally normal nd that you would have done exactely the same of the roles were reversed and he was the one to be ill on your b’day.

Stop feeling guilty. You had no choice of whether you were ill or not. He had the choice to still go to the restaurant or stay with you. He decided to stay. Not your responsibility if that meant he had no ‘b’day meal’

He sounds lovely. Apart from the no cats on the bed rule. Kiss him, say thank you and reschedule.

He sounds a good partner and has behaved exactly as you'd hope people who love their partners behave. Which is refreshing after reading a lot of the 'relationships' topic.

You haven't spoilt his birthday - or not on purpose anyway! So get well soon and stop feeling guilty.

Surely this is normal behaviour in most families isn't it? If someone is ill, plans change. It's a pain sometimes but just part of life.

It's just a day like any other, really. The health of your loved ones is more important than that! Surely you'd have done the same if the situation was reversed?

Just make time for a nice meal another week instead.

He sounds like a fab DH.....but as an adult that is exactly what he should be doing when you are ill without complaint.

You can arrange another day to replace his birthday.

Glad you have such a great marriage!

I ruined my own birthday a year ago with a bout of norovirus.

Couldn't be helped.

Just postpone the celebration.