Sorry - a Christmas budget one

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So, reading all the threads about how much people spend has made me think maybe we have been a bit stingy?? DH and I would get a gift together for ourselves, could be a new TV or a new piece of furniture (quite boring!). And then maybe something small like a book/ CD to have something to unwrap on Christmas Day. For our own DC, we spend about £100 each, they are under 4. I tend to buy 1 main item that is of heirloom quality and then some other toys. For nieces and nephews, I used to spend £20 each but have upped it to about £25/30 each.
Cue Christmas Day, and we open gifts with family. SiL and BiL exchange very expensive items with each other, clearly very big spending. That's lovely for them. And they spend a lot on their children too. They have always bought good presents for our DCs too. But it feels like, whatever I buy for their DCs, I always fall short on theirs. Now I know it's not about the money and they probably don't care that much, but I don't want to seem like we have held back for their DCs. DH thinks they are so young and won't even know that hundreds have been spent, if they received one thing, they'd be just as happy.
The nieces and nephews are very lucky and has everything already! So actually very hard to buy for anyway.
DH and I buy small gifts as we are people who will just buy things as and when we wanted them. So again, hard to buy for.
For background, we have a good household income so sometimes I feel like we should spend more on other people.
Should I up the budget this year at least for the kids?

I dont think you SHOULD do anything, christmas is meant to be a happy time not a stressful one, spend whatever you feel comfortable spending and let them spend what they feel comfortable spending what they spend, its not a competition.

I think what you do is fine and sensible.

As your children get older and want things like tech, bikes etc then £100 won't be enough, at the moment it is more than enough.

Your budget is exactly the same as ours op. Except the adults all decided a couple of Christmases ago to only buy for children (except those who dont have young children but buy for ours, like my parents and aunt). We still only spend around £30 each of nephews and nieces though (and the same for the adults without kids). Our household income is also good.

If there's one thing that sucks the joy out of any celebration (xmas, birthday, wedding etc) it's competitive present buying. If you can, just steer clear of the offenders and if they ask, tell them why.

What you do now sounds spot on. We do something very similar. I wouldn't change anything

What is an heirloom quality present for dc under four?

My husband and I exchange one or two things, probably spending about £20 each. We spend about £100-200 per child depending on their wants and needs. My family no longer do presents as the number of children grows. Works for us!

I think you are far more sensible than those who get into debt to buy a mountain of plastic tat. Your children will,be better for it.

It doesn’t matter if you fall short on presents not for your own dcs.

I think you just need to do whatever feels right for you. Can I ask though, what do you mean by 'heirloom' quality? Why is that important to you and does that type of you not equal expensive? No judgement, just interested. I've spent slightly more than usual on my eldest this year (She's 6) as she's started keyboard lessons so weve spent £100 on that and probably £230 in total. Weve spent much less on the baby because she will only be 11 months. On my Bruce and nephew we've spent £20 each buy bought from their list so I know it's something they want.

Type of gift^ not type of you

The typos in my post are awful. I apologise. My Bruce is actually my neice and we've bought dd a keyboard not a that.

Why is everyone obsessed ( and boasting) about how much they spend on gifts?
Who cares and makes less fortunate of us embarrassed

I thought I'd be the first nog third person to want to know what was "heirloom quality" and why?

We do similar. Maybe £50 each on each other unless there is something housey we want to share as you describe. Then about £100 on each of the two older kids (7 and 5) and will spend about £30 on the 1 month old.

Nieces and nephews will get approx £15 each, our parents £20-£30 each. We buy token £10 type gifts for all his brothers and their wives, and about £20-30 on my sister. And that's it.

Sorry "heirloom quality" sounds quite pretentious reading it back. It's not intentional. It just mean a toy or item that they could keep and last for a long time. Something sentimental like a special teddy that they could keep in their room even then they are older? I still have my teddy another example is maybe a nice children's armchair. I.e not plastic tat, they'd get bored with.

^^hence using "heirloom quality" rather than that explanation

It doesn't sound pretentious, just a bit, well - back cover of the Mail on Sunday magazine sorry!

Also, much to my own pretentious dismay, some of the toys with the most longevity and most fun in my house have been the dreaded plastic tat!

Favourite soft toys here are not the Steiff bear (that I don't have, so that's good ) but the £2.00 one from the fair hook a duck, and the £1 one from the school teddy tombola. I really wouldn't waste your money deliberately seeking "heirloom" - that will cut your budget nicely 👍🏻

I'm glad a few of you do similar to us.
I know I'll get lots of "Christmas isn't about money and presents" and sorry if it seems like boasting.
But people do wonder about budgets and what is socially acceptable! I'm not trying to compete but just want to know which amount is reasonable without going overboard!
Toys are actually so expensive, even at £30, it might only be one gift! Others have been so generous and I would like to be too, but they are only toddlers!!

@Ellisandra I suppose you're right! I guess we won't know what is an heirloom to them until they are older!
It's just something like a rocking horse. My friend's parents have just restored her old rocking horse for her DD. It was so lovely.

I've just spent £25 on a bloody Fingerling thing

I can't believe the price of plastic fat!

I want my kids to be wowed by their presents. To me, that means finding the right present rather than spending a fortune. Dd is 6 this year, so it's the Keyboard. She loves her lessons and keeps telling me she wishes she could practice at home. She is going to love it. Last year it was a secret diary visual. Plastic, but she's played with it all year. The rest of her gifts are things like Lego, books, clothes etc. I'd focus on something they really want rather than worryimg about what you are spending not being enough.

If it makes you feel any better OP, one year we just bought DS an electric toothbrush. Sounds awful doesn't it? However, the previous year he was so overwhelmed with gifts from us, very kind, generous family and friends that he struggled to take it all in. It was the opposite of joyful.

So we completely scaled back our spending and when tempted to spend money we instead put it in his piggy bank. He received ample presents that year, another pile from us was not missed.

So please don't feel you should be spending just because others do, there is no need or joy in it.

I feel I spend a lot on Christmas presents but that's probably because our budget's tight.
We will probably spend around £100 on DS (nearly 3) -partly because the toy I encouraged him we could "ask Father Christmas for" turns out to be going for more than I expect on ebay!

We often save something we're needing to buy ourselves as a "Christmas present" although DH ended up buying his new phone earlier as the old one wouldn't last. He'll normally buy me some books.

I get presents for my family from charity shops unless I see something especially ideal for someone. Spend about £10 each.

My sister in law had the genius idea of us all spending £5 each on nephews and nieces and letting our children do the shopping at charity shops. It has been good fun, They really thought about what their cousins would like and means they will really enjoy the giving as well as receiving. We bought a book, a game and a soft toy for a fiver. all in good condition. It also means if the things only get played with a few times it is much less wasteful when they go back to charity.