Sorry - a Christmas budget one

[CannotConnectTryAgainLater]

So, reading all the threads about how much people spend has made me think maybe we have been a bit stingy?? DH and I would get a gift together for ourselves, could be a new TV or a new piece of furniture (quite boring!). And then maybe something small like a book/ CD to have something to unwrap on Christmas Day. For our own DC, we spend about £100 each, they are under 4. I tend to buy 1 main item that is of heirloom quality and then some other toys. For nieces and nephews, I used to spend £20 each but have upped it to about £25/30 each.
Cue Christmas Day, and we open gifts with family. SiL and BiL exchange very expensive items with each other, clearly very big spending. That's lovely for them. And they spend a lot on their children too. They have always bought good presents for our DCs too. But it feels like, whatever I buy for their DCs, I always fall short on theirs. Now I know it's not about the money and they probably don't care that much, but I don't want to seem like we have held back for their DCs. DH thinks they are so young and won't even know that hundreds have been spent, if they received one thing, they'd be just as happy.
The nieces and nephews are very lucky and has everything already! So actually very hard to buy for anyway.
DH and I buy small gifts as we are people who will just buy things as and when we wanted them. So again, hard to buy for.
For background, we have a good household income so sometimes I feel like we should spend more on other people.
Should I up the budget this year at least for the kids?

That is similar to what we do. I spend about 20 on nieces and nephews. Then

Dh earns a good wage

We buy a nice bottle of whisky and glasses as a present for ourselves

Spend about £150 on the children ( usually, gone a bit above that this year)

£10 on my dad and FIL

£20 on the 7 children we give presents to

And thats it

My brother and his girlfriend friend who earn less spend more and get dh and i presents....from their 3 year old!!

So i dont think there is a should

Apologies that should be £20 per child that we buy for

I reckon you could do it for £20...but it would be tight

Yesterday i found a set of prosecco scented candles in the bargain bin in our local Tesco. In a black and gold box good condition.

£4 SILs present sorted.

I think lots of us have a much more modest budget that some of the sums mentioned on Mumsnet - not because we are stingey or perhaps can't afford but because it's just not how we choose to spend our money, but that probably makes for a pretty dull thread if we want to post about it. .

I think what you do is fine. I don't like Christmas anymore. So much planning and expectation for one day of wild consumerism. This year I have bought/still need to buy people tickets to do stuff to avoid so much stuff being bought.

I think it's fine. My nieces get about £25 to £30 spent on them and my DB and Dsil spend about the same on my DC. We compete with each other as to who can buy the nicest box of biscuits for the other, £5 maximum allowable.

My DH brother is an obnoxious fuckwit but I refuse to take that out on his DC who I've never met so I spend around £10 each on them and get mil to pass on.

We're on a stricter budget this year due to mat leave and I budgeted £300 for both DC, around £200 for DS who is 7 and £100 for DS2 who is 6 months.
DS1 I ended up overspending but only because he was getting a keyboard as his main present from Santa and I saw a deal which included a stand, for slightly more than I accounted for.

For both kids the dearest single items has been books! I've found the small toys or bits and bobs they want not too expensive but books are.

For my sister I've spent £20, her boyfriend will get around the same and parents have had about £40 on them each. My aunt and grandparents get flowers and chocolate ans two cousins get a £20 gift card for clothes.

I've spent around £50 on OH but we've not been out in months due to finances and he's not bought himself anything in a long time so I got little bits he would get for himself but has given up because of finances.

My DDs are grown up so my budget is £10 per DD, I can’t afford any more, they will probably choose a book each and I will most likely choose a book for the to give me, but nothing that costs more than £10, I tell them not to bother giving me anything, but they always do

Christmas Lunch will cost me about £15, which is a lot out of my budget for one meal, but hey ho

I like a simple Yule celebration, as a Pagan I I don’t really do Christmas

I think your approach is spot on. With selective shopping one can find amazing gifts for £30 and £100 for kids under 4 is about right.

Mix it all up with some Christmas spirit and magic and you are there.

Thanks everyone. I'll stick to the budget. I guess what it boils down to is I care about appearances
I know that's not what it's about but reassuring to know that our budget is reasonable! Everyone knows we are the highest earners but spend the least. As I'm the DiL, the outsider, I worry about it more. Very silly I know!!!

When I was younger my grandmother, who didn’t have much money bought me 50 cheap felt tips and some paper, it was the best present that year. All my other presents where ‘nice’, for example thick wool coat, pjs, educational books or took ages to set up but more what people thought I should have then what I wanted. I can remember my mum moaning about the lack of money and effort being spent and, that just made me sad. I suppose what am trying to say is it’s not about how much something cost but more about the thought behind it and it being suited to the person and, you don’t need to spend lots for that. However I totally get where you are coming from, the pressure from our family to buy nice expensive gifts is ridiculous and, it’s taken a lot of guts and sometimes heartache to stick to budget. For our kids it varies but we only buy what i know they will love xxx

This year only buying for the children and me and hubby are going to spend £10 on each other and buy from a charity shop. We are trying to be more into what's Christmas really about this year all the children will be getting a years subscription to kids national geographic....they will be getting actual toy pressies from other people. Older children getting years subscription to animal charities save the Bears, save the donkeys, provide water for a year to third world country.....something that will make them think more about other people than themselves.

Can you alter Christmas Day so you do present exchanging before meeting up? That way the appearances won't matter?

I realise that it's the giving and the thought that counts. But by that logic, I could get all the kids a stick from the garden and a cardboard box! I know they'd love it but I imagine I'd get a few