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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was this lorry driver BU?

88 replies

Abingdon · 17/11/2017 18:15

I have just got home and am still a little shaken up so excuse me if I forget some of the details here.

I was driving home from work and on a steep hill, heading downhill. At the bottom of the hill is a set of traffic lights, and a 4-way box junction.

I was waiting quite far back in the queue near the top of the hill, waiting for the traffic lights to go green. They did, and traffic started moving forwards so we all accelerated towards the junction. As I approached the junction the lights started to change. I could probably have made it across just in time before they turned red, but I could see that my exit on the other side of the box junction was not clear so I decided to stop at the lights. Admittedly, I did stop fairly sharpish, but it wasn't overly violent. It's not like it was an emergency stop, just a bit more sudden than I would have liked.

As I stopped I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a lorry hurtling towards me! There was still a fair bit of space between us but he was still going way too fast, I have no idea whether he had even seen me stop or not by this point.

Anyway, the lorry driver must have slammed hard on the breaks because he did manage to stop RIGHT behind my car. Having seen him coming at me so fast I did also move forward over the lines to try to give him more space.
The lorry did not ever touch my car, but as he came to a stop I heard the most almighty crash, which turned out to be the goods he was carrying. At this point, the driver gets out of the cab approaches my window and starts screaming and swearing at me, calling me names, saying I'm stupid and shouldn't be driving etc etc. It was absolutely terrifying. He is at least twice my age and probably about 4 times my size and he was being extremely intimidating. I did wind down my window a little to try to talk to him but I couldn't get a word in over his tirade.

While he was yelling, the lights turned green and the line of traffic behind us starting honking their horns and getting impatient. So I then carried on driving, went over the box junction and pulled over in the bus lay-by a little up the road. The lorry driver RAN back to his lorry and followed me. I guess he thought I was trying to drive off completely or something?

Once we were both in the lay-by he started demanding my insurance information saying he would "make sure I didn't get away with this". I was so shocked at the whole situation that I gave my details to him, and eventually got his from him. But this whole situation took about 40mins, with him yelling at me the entire time.

So I guess what I'm asking is who was in the wrong here? My understanding is that had he gone into the back of me he would have been at fault anyway, so I'm not sure how he can be so adamant that I am to blame? Also, the fact that our vehicles never even made contact makes me think I was really stupid to exchange details with him. Did I do the right thing?
He kept talking about the expensive cargo he had, and I'm now worried he is going to try to claim that from my insurance somehow? I can't afford for my premiums to go up, especially when I'm almost sure this wasn't my fault.

I haven't called my insurance yet but will do when I've calmed down. In the meantime, can some one please tell me whether I'm in the wrong or not? I want to be fully prepared when I talk to the insurance company.

OP posts:

safariboot · 17/11/2017 20:09

The lorry driver was an arsehole with their aggressive behaviour, which came close to assault.

This was a near miss, but IMHO if one driver is abusive or aggressive to another after an incident, that driver should be deemed at fault for the incident. That ought to make people think twice before road raging.

Beingrippedoff · 17/11/2017 20:15

safari completely disagree with that! If someone nearly hit me and it was entirely their fault then too right I’d be raging at them, esp if my kids were in the car!

parkerbean · 17/11/2017 20:16

If you had gone through on amber then he would have gone through on red! You did nothing wrong. He should have had sufficient training to know his stopping distances with a loaded lorry on a hill and every driver should drive towards lights expecting them to change. He was driving badly, wrecked his load and took his anger out on you.

Chocachoo · 17/11/2017 20:22

His fault, a total overreaction - forget about it. I don't think you should contact insurers either, there's no collision to actually report and it would be so annoying if you were penalized in any way over a non-incident.

carefreeeee · 17/11/2017 20:42

Not your fault. Possibly you could have approached the lights a bit slower but that doesn't make it your fault that another driver wasn't paying attention. Please report him for roadrage

LucilleBluth · 17/11/2017 20:57

I was recently sat waiting to turn right off a rural A road, a lorry was literally hurtling up behin7me as I was wait to turn. I was in the process of ditching the car in the ditch to my left but he managed to stop right behind me. It was terrifying, he was traveling way too fast considering that there are lots of turn offs along the main road that lead to villages.

QueenUnicorn · 17/11/2017 21:01

Nothing will happen to your insurance as there was no contact. If there was contact it's ALWAYS the driver behinds fault. Try not to worry about it.

GabriellaMontez · 17/11/2017 21:14

YANBU.

There was no contact. Probably nothing like this will ever happen again but if it does please don't engage with them, just drive away. He was unreasonable and sounds aggressive.

We all have to do an emergency stop at some time and he wasn't paying attention and possibly hadn't secured his cargo adequately.

He has himself to blame.

YouDidNotJustSayThat · 17/11/2017 22:57

OP As everyone has said, it was 100% HIS fault. If you stopped on amber, saw he wasn't slowing AND had time to move your car forward then it's obvious he simply wasn't paying attention. Had you gone through them he would have gone through on red, so no matter what, he was driving dangerously.

Can I just take this opportunity to recommend getting dash cams. I have a Kaiser Bass R40 and will be buying one for the rear soon too. With the cost of insurance and the sheer bloody idiots on the roads it's the best way to keep you safe from false claims. And hey, you would have plenty of evidence to have him charged for threatening behaviour. Sounds like he should perhaps rethink his choice of career.

isernamesarerubbish · 17/11/2017 23:01

My DH,a truck driver of Many years says he is totally at fault - not you!

emmyrose2000 · 18/11/2017 23:38

The truck driver was totally at fault. It sounds like he had no intention of even stopping at the lights in the first place if he was still going that fast at an amber light.

There's no way I'd have stopped to engage with this lunatic though. If he's crazy enough to drive a truck irresponsibly, then there's a high chance he'd act like an absolute arsehole in person - which he proved in his interaction with OP.

amicissimma · 18/11/2017 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TemptressofWaikiki · 19/11/2017 00:32

As some mentioned, I would report him to his company and make a formal complaint. Someone like this should not be on the road! He would have never made the lights in time and should have driven slow enough to break safely. Sorry OP that you were verbally attacked. I would have personally not even stopped. There was no collision. His cargo is his bloody problem!

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