AIBU about teenagers comments?

[NotExactlyHappyToHelp]

This is going to sound a bit silly but it’s been playing on my mind a little.

I leave my house every afternoon at the same time to walk to School pick up. As I’m walking I pass a lot of local secondary school kids who get out earlier than primary.

Since School got back in September I regularly encounter a particular kid. He’s no older than Yr9 but I’d say probably Yr8. As I walk past him he says something to me every single time.

It’s never offensive stuff usually things like ‘Nice hat.’ ‘Different scarf.’ ‘Ohh on your phone.’ etc etc. Said kind of sarcastically I suppose.

As I was coming out my front door today he walked past stopped and said ‘Ha I know where you live.’

I know this isn’t exactly crime of the century but AIBU to be annoyed by this kid? Would IBU to just tell him to piss off?

Just say ‘wanker’ under your breath next time.

He thinks he’s funny. Ah well one day he’ll realise what an odd ball he’s being

Yes but maybe he is an odd ball, lacking in social skills because no one has taught him or he has no filter?

Just be pleasant then you won't feel uneasy next time!!

Maybe he’s just being polite or is lonely? Try a conversation with him and if he is an arse then ignore him but he might be a nice kid, doesn’t sound like he’s said anything awful!

He wants attention.

I can't tell you best tactic for sure, but you could try a few things.

Be ultra friendly. "Hiya!! Howya doing!" Now you're the weirdo HE wants to avoid.

Big fat "Nothing you can say bothers me" smile in response, every time. No words.

Pretend it's real conversation. "Yes my scarf IS nice! And I know where YOU live too!"

He sounds quite odd. I’d be tempted to say something along the lines of, ‘How are your parents, I must catch up with them soon.’

OK, he might be an orphan in which case this would be unfortunate but it’s more likely he’s being a little creep.

He’s always walking with a friend so I don’t think he’s trying to initiate conversation. His tone is snarky and he regularly laughs as he walks away.

I would’ve just rolled my eyes and ignored as I have been but I was irked by him stopping and mocking me on my own bloody doorstep.

I was on occasion a total shit as a teenager so I’m not blindly assuming they’re all angels but I wouldn’t have done something like this.

I would counter it by making a comment too. Something similar - "ooh nice school bag". Schools can be quite helpful though and if you went in and told them they would be able to find out who it was & speak to him. That would probably stop him in his tracks. They could show you the photos to look through. He's probably weird in school too.

Someone, anyone, says nice hat to you and you say piss off? Would you say that to an adult?

So he's showing off to his friend that he can wind you up. And it's working... he can probably tell.

You can ignore which most people would.

You might feel like you were taking control though if you say the right things back. Best if they are very positive, slightly funny without taking mick, or excessively polite or even complimentary.

I live in a small town so I can legitmately say "Shall I tell your mother that you've been speaking to strange women?" and give him the SchoolMarm stare.

Have you ever caught his name? Any of the other kids said it?

I used to work in a shop and sometimes teenagers would come in and mess around, wreck displays etc. One time a group came in and started messing, I asked them to leave and one of them started saying “I’m just looking for my mummy” and they all laughed. Well I happened to know this kids Mum and his name so I replied saying “sorry [his name] your Mum hasn’t been in but i’ll be sure to let her know you were in” his face dropped and he legged it out of there.

If you knew this kids first name at least you could say something like “hi X, hows your mum keeping? Tell her I was asking after her”

my ds2 (10) would do something like this. He has ASD and is often overly friendly to people in the street and tries to chat with them as if he knows them. Usually most people are nice about it, but the occasional secondary school kid tells him to fuck off.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea I’ve never told him to piss off. If total stranger made repeated sarcastic observations to you would you not at least think ‘Ah bugger off.’?

I’ve been totally ignoring him hoping he’ll get bored but if it carries on I may just take PP’s excellent suggestions and start making cheery comments back.

Take a photo on your phone and bring it into the school. He’s pestering you and it’s harassment. Nip it now before he grows up to do it to another woman. He has a little bit of power over you and likes it. He knows his comments unnerve you and that’s what he’s getting off on. That, and showing off to his friends.

Kill him with kindness. Honestly. He's a teenager and he's socially awkward. There are three options here:

1. He's got ASD or SEN
2. He's a mildly over-confident and possibly quite nice child who's being friendly.
3. He's a mean child who's on a power-trip and is trying to intimidate you.

The best thing to do, which addresses all problems, is to be extra nice back. If he's got SEN, then that's just a lovely thing to do. But if it's either of the other options, then you're confusing him. He doesn't actually want an adult friend!

I would just say something along the lines of "your very observant aren't you" or "so lovely that you find me so interesting."
He's probably just a bit cocky and trying to look cool around his friends.

I would just laugh. He's being cheeky. I don't think it's harassment. It can be hard if you're not confident enough to reply back to them. Now it's gone on a bit, next time say, 'blimey, you're really interested in everything I do aren't you?' with a big grin. Or at least get in a 'morning!' before he says anything.

I don’t think the OP has any obligation to be ‘extra nice’ In fact i am fed up of women being told to be nice to the males who make them feel uncomfortable, no matter what those males’ intentions are.

I think either be super cringey back if you have the confidence or tell him to stop talking to you. Or, put head phones in and completely ignore him, no eye contact etc he’ll get bored after a while.

I would just look slightly puzzled for a very brief moment and then totally ignore him.

If it gets more persistent and intrusive then I would contact the school, give as much detail about the boy as possible, and ask them to deal with it.

Acknowledge his comments as though you think they are genuine. He says "nice hat" You say "thanks, I like your shoes etc". He is winning as he can see it pisses you off. Chat back and comments to you will soon lose their appeal. im a teacher, kids do this sort of thing. If you act like you are getting genuine compliments it really throws them off!

Take a photo of him and take it to school and say what?

"this boy says hello to me"

OP, Please don't, you'll look insane.

Maybe he’s just being polite or is lonely? Try a conversation with him and if he is an arse then ignore him but he might be a nice kid, doesn’t sound like he’s said anything awful!

I wouldn’t bother striking up a conversation with him

Honestly just greet him with a beaming smile and a bellowing “good afternoon”. He’ll not talk to you again.

I had this the other day with some Y6s. I just responded with something equally annoying.

If he says, 'Nice hat', I'd say 'Thank you. Nice blazer!'. If he says, 'Oooh you're on your phone' I'd say, 'Wow, you're walking to school'. You don't need to use a sarcastic tone, just a factual or even slightly enthusiastic one. Just echo him. I don't think he's SN. It's kind of obvious with SN kids, they are slightly awkward. If he thinks that's being friendly to OP, then he'll think the OP is being friendly back. And if he's being annoying because he likes annoying people then he's welcome to being annoyed right back.