AIBU about teenagers comments?

[NotExactlyHappyToHelp]

This is going to sound a bit silly but it’s been playing on my mind a little.

I leave my house every afternoon at the same time to walk to School pick up. As I’m walking I pass a lot of local secondary school kids who get out earlier than primary.

Since School got back in September I regularly encounter a particular kid. He’s no older than Yr9 but I’d say probably Yr8. As I walk past him he says something to me every single time.

It’s never offensive stuff usually things like ‘Nice hat.’ ‘Different scarf.’ ‘Ohh on your phone.’ etc etc. Said kind of sarcastically I suppose.

As I was coming out my front door today he walked past stopped and said ‘Ha I know where you live.’

I know this isn’t exactly crime of the century but AIBU to be annoyed by this kid? Would IBU to just tell him to piss off?

As I was coming out my front door today he walked past stopped and said ‘Ha I know where you live

He is obviously a clever Bastard in front of his mates....

Can you keep a look out for him walking up the street and let him pass before you leave?

Yes, or big smile and "Hello. It's so nice to see you again. I love your friendly comments to me every day."

"I'm a bit old for you, sweetheart, I don't think your parents would like it."

Seriously, though, from what you describe he's being a little shit. We've all come across this type of entitled little twat who gets his kicks from making women feel uncomfortable; it's another version of "Smile, love, it might never happen!" Unless you do think he may have special needs and be genuinely trying to be friendly, I'd stick in my earphones and completely blank him.

I would say he is trying to show off to his mates by flirting in a rather pathetic, teenage boy way! Teenage boys, apparently, think its funny to make comments to women who they think are MILFS

I know this because DS told me (he doesn't do it, he was explaining to me why one of the rather cocky little shits boys in his year does it.

Has anyone told the OP to offer to buy him a creme egg yet?

I’ve never told him to piss off. If total stranger made repeated sarcastic observations to you would you not at least think ‘Ah bugger off.’

The point is that you are asking if you WBU to tell him to piss off. And you would, which is what I said.

he doesn't do it, he was explaining to me why one of the rather cocky little shits boys in his year does it

Critical thinking is what's required here.

I wouldn't respond, it could escalate things, if not now, but in a couple of years, when egging your house is nothing to him.

It's about having power when out and about. The Men who do similar don't morph into who they are at 18, it starts in child/teenage hood.

Also, you don't want any accusations throwing your way.

Just think how disappointing it would be to have him as a son and inwardly tut and shake your head.

You are under no obligation to tell him off but I probably would, for his sake. It may also be worth considering writing a letter to the headteacher-it is likely that a lot of children there haven't been taught basic manners (like that you don't shout comments out at random strangers ever). This kind of thing is so shockingly ignorant and uncouth that you really can't be expected to react on the spot but the kind thing to do would be to try to correct it.

I’m pretty sure the OP would be able to work out if he had Sen there are usually signs. I suspect he’s just a little shit on a power trip. It is a form of harassment and I would be inclined to inform the school. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want one of their pupils pissing off local adults and showing the school up.

I had a similar thing with a group of lads who were hanging around at the bottom of my street smoking over the summer holidays. Lots of cheeky comments etc etc. Then one day my car broke down at the bottom of the road and all of them offered to help me push it back in to my driveway, the main offender even offered to get his Dad round to take a look, apparently he Dad was a mechanic! (I politely declined). Not sure what the moral of my story is except that sometimes teenagers can surprise you. I’ve never had any comments from them since.

Annoying behaviour and you are right to feel like telling him to bugger off. I'd try the bright cheery and unfazed response and if that doesn't work complain to the school.

I’m pretty sure the OP would be able to work out if he had Sen there are usually signs.

Oh really, you can tell kids with SEN just by how they say hello on the street now?

I don’t think the OP has any obligation to be ‘extra nice’ hmm In fact i am fed up of women being told to be nice to the males who make them feel uncomfortable, no matter what those males’ intentions are This. Also, if you start being really nice and cheery he'll probably start saying you fancy him or something. I would completely ignore him.

I’d be sorely tempted to respond “yeah, your face” with a raised eyebrow, but I’m not nearly as young or scary as I imagine I am 😀. I really do think that some men and boys believe women owe them attention, a reaction, engagement - and it starts young.

This week I was running at school bus time and a 13ish boy looked at me and just muttered “minger”. I was tempted to write a bit of a polemic on our local fb page (I live in a village) about the days of that kind of low grade bullying and misogyny being done with. But I decided I should have said something in the moment or let it go. But honestly, what is it that teaches some kids to put other people down by default, automatically, with every other word that comes out of their mouths? I couldn’t give a shiny shit what a prepubescent tween thinks I look like while I’m running 😅.

a lot of these posts are completely over the top considering the boy is only about 12 and hasnt said anything actually offensive.

Give him shit - act like his mum and give him a proper kiddies telling off. You'll find he's not as confident as he looks

It's Cheeky, so what? He's a child, ffs. They do stupid things. Handle him with kindness, humour or sternness. Aggression not called for.

Why be a dick to a kid?

So he says nice hat, you say how kind of you to notice, yes it is rather lovely. I like your shoes!.

He'll be bemused and/or mortified, it'll put a right halt to his gallop as he wasn't expecting that reaction. And you haven't lowered yourself by being a twat to a child.

Whether he had SN does not make a difference really. If it were me I would just not engage and walk on

Exactly Stateless Princess The boy is not gonna mind too much whether someone responds to him or not anyway, SN or not.

I have had men with quite obvious SN and other issues like MH or alcoholism try and speak to me. I have also had seemingly able bodied men do the same. If I am having one of my better days I might smile but most days I won't engage. I would not let it bother me much either way but get anxious around strangers especially men if I do stop to engage. I really would not worry OP, those boys will have forgotten about it 5 mins later.

You need to reply with a reference to his mother. Like "Thank you I will pass on to your mother how courteous you are next time I see her, your young boy friends must think you are an angel". Always worked for me.