To have told my dad about pregnancy before DH

[Eilasor]

I know I am.

There was a family emergency yesterday, which resulted in me spending 6 hours alone with my dad in the car. I had taken a test in the morning before the phone call and didn't tell DH before I left to see family. I ended up telling my dad that I'm pregnant and talking about my feelings towards it with him.

I'm quite conflicted about the pregnancy, DH and I were ttc at the beginning of the year, but stopped as I was finding it too stressful and wanted to progress my career. DH wasn't overly happy as he was anxious for another child. I started my new job at the end of August (my first in my field post-degree), it's been going very well.

It isn't that I don't want to be pregnant, I want another child and I know my husband will be happy. I just needed some time to sort my head and understand before I told DH and had to be overwhelmingly happy with him right away.

I'm writing this to justify myself, but I know I'm wrong and can take my ass being handed to me.

We won’t tell

nightowl I've got to admit I was thinking along the same lines as you.

OP, I'll probably get flamed for this but it does stand out to me that you were trying for a baby your partner desperately wanted, you changed your mind, he was very disappointed and then you get pregnant whilst using condoms. Now I know no contraception is 100%, but when used properly, condoms are very effective and it's fairly rare to get pregnant, however it's not so rare for men to tamper with contraception. You only have to do a google search to see how many men ask about how to tamper with contraceptive pills etc.

I feel awful for suggesting it, but at the same time it's something women get accused of fairly frequently.

I really hope this doesn't upset you as that's not my intention at all, there's just slight alarm bells there, but of course it could be perfectly innocent!

For you're question though, I could understand him being upset, but from your side you really didn't do anything wrong, it's reasonable that you'd need to get your head around it before telling him when you know how pleased he will be.

Angels i am not going to be one of those women who categorically defends their husband despite what it looks like. And yes, I agree, it is a bit of a coincidence. I do have faith that my husband wouldn't do that to me, but thank you for pointing it out and I'll keep it in mind.

Good! It's a relief to here that - I think I've been on MN too long! You know him, we don't, so of course you have the best picture of the situation.

Please don't beat yourself up about telling your dad though, it's completely understandable. X

I was in my hometown when I found out I was pregnant with our second son. My husband was in another country. He was still the first person I told.

Congratulations!

Just tell your family- and then tell your DH in the week sometime. It's your pregnancy

Eilasor I'm glad to hear that he is supportive of you and your goals, and that you are sure he is just a broody husband, they do exist after all!

I hope you don't beat yourself up too much about this. If you decide you are happy about this after the shock has worn off, maybe if you buy a wee present for him such as booties to break the news it will seem like more of a plan that you wanted to tell him in a special way? Alternatively (or as well) I would just not mention the fact that anyone else knows. It probably won't come up.

Tell your DH!

I think you can just dissemble a bit: there's no need to lie to DH but you could also make out like it was more like 'it was worked out' and you had to say, rather than discussing it with your dad in a more ambivalent way.

You feel what you feel, and it's all ok - I'm glad you've got this time to think.

(Also I would just like to say to @cardinalcat that "It's not like you kissed your DH goodbye with a secret in your mouth" is a brilliant turn of phrase and I love the mental image it gives.)

DM knew before my DH. I sent her picture of my test. Still have it

Congratulations.

Why don’t you call your husband, tell him the news and explain you are feeling funny. His excitement might reassure you and at least you won’t be worrying about that, and then you can tell your sisters over the next few days and they can support you too.

I recently found out I was pregnant and it was a surprise and talking about it with my husband really helped, as did being able to speak to my sister and a good friend. At first I thought I was going to keep it a secret but other peoples support really helped.

Called DH today and told him. His first words were "that's amazing, but are you okay with this?" He was fine that I had spoken to my dad, I don't know what I was worried about. Thanks for all your help and advice everyone. Made this much easier.

His first words weren't 'how on earth?'

Oh.

Wasn’t he surprised OP?

Im broadly paraphrasing as our conversation wasn't in English. There were a few "what the fucks" etc before that.

How are you feeling about the pregnancy now, op?

Condoms if used correctly are very safe, yes, so - well. What is there to say.

For the record they are what we have always used with no problems at all, and conception first time on two occasions without.

So it really is a case of WTF I guess!

Hope you are ok with it all OP.

Feeling quite positive now thanks, alisvolat , walking the line of excited. More so every day. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about my career, but not overwhelmingly so.

Ah that’s great op!