Your views on splitting living costs

[sunshineinabag]

When one person in a couple outearns the other, whats the fair and right way of splitting rent, bills, food, etc?

No children, no marriage.

How do you do it?

I out earn my partner, when he moves in in 2 weeks we’re splitting it 1/3 to 2/3 so we’ll both end up with roughly the same money at the end.

Either 50-50 or % of salary.

DP massively outearns me. We pay our wages into one joint account. All bills, rent (soon to be mortgage) child maintenance etc comes out of that account. Then we each transfer £150 to our own accounts to cover our own personal interests.

It works for us. Different things work for different people. We originally started with proportional amounts going into joint account for bills. But a few months back we then switched to the above which we both feel works better for us.

My husband has always earned slightly more than me. Before we married he paid more towards the bills so we both had a roughly equal amount of 'spare' money.

I would either do it roughly proportionately or pay in the same amount per month and split your bills in the middle. So you each pay 60% of your income to shared bills/costs, and keep the other 40% for your own individual expenses (I'm just pulling these numbers out of the air, obviously work out what you need for your own situation). Our incomes are fairly similar, so we generally split it about 50-50 (though we are married with kids). When I go on mat leave, my income will be significantly less, but so will our expenses, so my dh will pay more of the bills overall because he earns more and I'll pay less (though I'm doing the childcare then). But neither of us struggles. If one needs money, the other transfers it to them if they have it.

My partner and I have always done it 50 50. He earned more than me though so used to pick up the bigger bills alone, like filling the oil tank, some holiday costs etc. We have a joint household account into which we pay an equal amount monthly which covers everything including food (we stick to a budget), our own personal money is in our own accounts. It worked for us, we have never been too obsessed about working out every penny. We are retired now and still use the same system. As long as there is enough in the joint account we are happy. We pay for our own cars though.

We have a joint account, I put earn my dp significantly. Everything goes into the joint and we have a £200 dd into our personal accounts for general spending money

I earn a lot more than my now husband, over triple his wage. As soon as we moved in together we put opened a joint account and both our wages get paid into this. We closed our individual accounts and all the bills and now mortgage come out of the joint account. We both buy what we want but anything big we always discuss it together. I never wanted to split the bills or keep my own money. As soon as we moved in together we were a couple and everything became ours together

As soon as we moved in together had a joint account only.

I can see how that may lead to issues if you don't have the same attitude towards money though.

Percentage of salary: The higher earner pays more but also keeps more/has more to fritter or save as desired. At least that's how it's always worked for us.

I think it depends if you see yourselves as living as though you were married (which would obviously be the case if you did have children) or not.

If you do, for instance if been together for very long time, I would say proportionate to income.

If it's a newer relationship I would expect it to be 50:50.

Joint account. Pay everything out if it, pay everything into it.
He tends to do the earning, I do the spending.

It depends to what extent, my OH has always earned 3-5k more than me and until we had children I never expected him to pay more but if I didn’t have enough money to go out for dinner etc I would say and he would often say he’d pay.
In a previous relationship a boyfriend earnt a third more than me so when we were planning to move in together I told him what amount I could afford for rent and he wanted to live somewhere bigger than I could afford so he said he would pay more which seemed fair to me as it was his choice.

My recent Ex lived with me - My house etc...
He paid 'rent' and usually paid more when out and about.
I'd pay all bills, mortgage etc...
It worked out pretty evenly.
I didn't want anyone to be able to stake a claim on my property.

Very haphazard but worked for us for over 40 years.
I earned more but both salaries went into one account.
All bills paid by DD/SO from said account.
Whatever was left we spent.
Neither of us is greedy and we never fell out over money.
We do the same now but with our pensions
His is more than mine now but who cares.

Depends how you see things.

We put everything in and then each take an equal amount for our own personal spending out (ie for books, clothes, nice shower gel, candles, gym membership).

Anything left over gets saved in joint savings

Things like going out together comes out of the joint account as is a joint expense.

Half and half for mortgage/rent, bills and food. For holidays, nights out etc, you should either work to the poorer person's budget, or (preferably) the richer person should make up the difference. I don't believe in joint accounts, and I think it is ill-advised to allow yourself to be financially dependent on someone else. Financial independence is absolutely key to all other kinds of independence in the real world, for right or wrong.

How long have you been together?

I generally think unless married or with children then 50/50, but the low earner sets the housing budget and if the higher earner wants anything nicer they pay the difference.

Same with holidays, getting a cleaner etc.

Financial independence is absolutely key to all other kinds of independence in the real world, for right or wrong.

Completely agree.

We've always gone for equal personal money or equal opportunity to earn it (via housework, which neither of us is a great fan of doing). DH was bringing in far more than me for a while at the start, but my income will jump to far beyond his as soon as I am finished studying. This way there will be no resentment - far more money came from him to support us before, far more will come from me later. Both of us have the same quality of life. All fair.

I'd say percentage as well - the higher earner gets slightly more spending money proportional to earnings, but puts in more for the bills/costs.
Joint accounts only work if you both have the same attitude to money, and 50-50 risks leaving the lower earner scraping for pennies whilst the higher one has plenty of money.
However it's a personal decision, and not one-size-fits-all.

You will find this forum, whilst you are single and cohabiting, take the view that your money is yours and you should only pay a portion into the the communal living pot BUT when you have children, his money becomes family money and you are entitled to all of it.

Are you renting or buying?

My DH earns about £15,000 more than me so he pays the mortgage and all the bills & I buy the food. We've always done it this way even before we were married. He gives both DC money every week too(they're at uni)

I dont like these threads! My DP earns about triple what I do and we both pay the same into an account to cover our rent / bills. He is left with about £3.5k and I am left with about £400!