Your views on splitting living costs

[sunshineinabag]

When one person in a couple outearns the other, whats the fair and right way of splitting rent, bills, food, etc?

No children, no marriage.

How do you do it?

Just saw that you are not married and have no kids. I would probably still share everything but I suppose working out a percentage would be fairer than a 50/50 split. In my personal opinion, even without kids, you are a family and it should all be family money but different strokes and all that....

No children no marriage? 50/50 not percentage or leaving equal after bills. At that point it’s a house share ultimately.

Been with my partner c.5 years, bought a house together 3 years ago. Not married, he has an ex wife and 3 kids. DONT do it the way we’ve done it with him feeling still raw about his ex taking aaaaall the money, I bounded in with an independent woman, loving a man for love, not money idea of being equal! Despite earning (gross) less than half of what he did. We go 50/50 on everything (with the exception of his maintenance payments) OR if we (I) couldn’t afford to chip in, we retain sort of, “ownership” of things. I.e. we don’t have shared cars, the TV is very much “his”. It has just resulted in a financial struggle for me and festering resentment. I tried just once (when he complained that I owed him money for something) to bring up that other couples either put all their money together, or pay % into a joint account based on income. Nope. That’s a battle that will have no winner. Because of his hefty maintenance payments, my net income is now (after promotions) approaching something closer to his, but his contentment to keep what’s his very much for himself, rather than to really throw himself into being partners is going to always hang over me. And when we reach his retirement age, an age gap is going to throw up some inequalities again, but that’s a concern for when we get there...

Err, sorry, yeah... I’d suggest paying into a joint account based on % of net pay :)

hauntedlobster just realised you summarised my whole post in a couple of lines !

Yep, I frequently feel like no more to him than a housemate.

When me and DH moved in I out earned him to start. Both our wages went into the same account that all the bills came out of. Then each month we transferred some money into our own account to cover hobbies/interests and what we got was in proportion to what we earned.

Now I’m torn pour because that doesn’t sound pleasant at all. I don’t think I could put up with a man like that (I’m very single but also wouldn’t live with s guy till we were married for religious reasons so my opinion I might be skewed.

We do 50:50 and I earn £3-5k more than DP usually, I pay for car stuff, holidays and birthday/Christmas gifts for both our families though. If DP has a good week or month he picks up treats or takes us for a meal or night out. We get roughly the same spending each month but DP can choose overtime if he wants whereas I am salaried.

My friend is about to move in with her DP paying 50:50 - he’ll have about £1500 spare a month and she’ll have about £40. It boils my piss even thinking about it.

I've never had a joint account and never want one. My independence is very important to me!

We split bills and expenses proportionate to what we earn. If we added our salaries together, mine would make up 3 fifths of the total, so I pick up 3 fifths of the bills and expenses.

We have different amounts left over for personal spending, but that's OK as we earn differently!

Percentage share, you're a couple.

Technically it you are paying proportionally, you should also factor in pension provision. For example someone earning £50,000 a year with no pension might look like the bigger earner but a teacher for example earning £35k a year will end up with a big pension.

50/50 if no long term commitment. If it is a long term relationship or there is a mutual mortgage or whatever it would depend on the difference between salary. I would say the the lesser earner contributes as much as they can up to 50% without going into debt/being unable to meet reasonable personal costs and the higher earner pays the rest.

Proportionally, using a joint account for bills etc. We split disposable income 50:50. I'm the higher earner but his income will also catch up (and likely exceed mine) in coming years. His disposable tends to go on the big stuff- joint car, house, holidays etc. Mine tends to go on the smaller things like days or meals out. It works out really evenly.

I think that paying a proportion of things based on the proportion of the salary. And that includes essentials and meals out and holidays etc. Nothing 50/50.

However, once savings amounts have been agreed then each partner should be free to spend what they want on what they want. This pocket money approach to maintain an artificial level of equality can be limiting and damaging.

Split down the middle for us -I earn about £10k more a year. No joint account either.