To not go on this night out?

[Kellyopio]

It's very trivial and I apologise for being a baby in advance but here goes ...
I have a group of friends.
We celebrate birthdays /hen nights etc but never in 5 years have any of them celebrated my birthday or suggested it.
Friend 1-we have had 2 cocktail making classes,1 night in Leeds.
Friend 2.2 birthday parties (I was the one who bought the cake,decorated the function room)
Friend 3-weekend in Liverpool
Friend 4-night out on Saturday with a meal followed by drinks
My 30th =nothing
It's my birthday on Christmas Eve but we have all of December to do something.
Tomorrows night out her birthday is 21st December.
I'm just always feeling like the one who nobody cares about.
I don't want to say "what are we doing for my birthday "
When else's is secret planning and things.
I'm thinking of cancelling tomorrow night and just not going.
I know I sound like a baby but my supposedly close friend in the group never mentions anything and she knows it's my birthday.
Yet for this other girl it's a night out and meals blah blah.
Sorry for the whinge,it just makes me a bit sad.

In that case if they have rebuffed your ideas I'd say sod them and if you gave other friends phase them out. They are takers.

No I mentioned the spa day for my 30th in either November /December but no takers
Luckily I've got a lovely friend and we always celebrate each other's birthdays and just general days out

If they know your birthday is on the 24th and another friend is on the 21st then it is really odd/hurtful of them to arrange something over a month in advance for one friend and not make it a join thing for the both of you. Your birthdays are 4 days apart in Christmas week. There is no possible good reason for excluding you other than meanness. I'm really sorry, OP and YANBU at all.

That’s so thoughtless of them all. No wonder you’re upset... does no one ever even mention it OP?

I was this person in my group of freinds. They all seemed to care about each other an awful lot more than me, I was like an after thought if they gave me a thought at all.

I stopped bothering with them all when I left work for maternity leave in May to see what would happen. None of them have been in contact with me, not even when i had my baby.

Sometimes people who you think are your best friends really don't feel the same way about you. It's sad but I feel better now that I'm not wasting my time on them.

I don't have any suggestions but I'm in a similar position although I think it's because my friends make a fuss of birthdays and constantly drop hints etc whereas I don't like to be centre of attention so don't demand things and so people never make an effort.

I'm sometimes a bit upset as it feels like people don't care as much, but then I remind myself that adults who have a 'birthday month' or something similar are ridiculous and I'd rather have nothing than be one of those people.

I don't want to say "what are we doing for my birthday"

It's silly to insist on someone else reading your mind. Or that you are capable of reading theirs. Why jump to the conclusion that you're unloved? Say to your "friends," hey —I want to do something for my birthday! Let's [insert what you want here, but be reasonable because it's the holidays]." Then if they blow you off, fine, you can be sad and have a whinge. And look for better friends.

A better plan would be to wait until next June and tell them you're officially celebrating your half-birthday from now on, so bring on the festivities.

But Auntie the point is that they all plan for others birthdays as a suprise - no one else is having to front up and say ‘hey - I want to do something for my birthday” so why should OP? And the OP has tried that anyway and the plan was declined.

OP - ditch them. They don’t view you in the same way.

So did you go? what happened?

Hope you ok