Impossible to go back to work?

[Ivybows]

I have 2 preschool dc, I'm a sahm through circumstance more than choice although I have enjoyed it and I'm greatful that I've had this time at home with the dc.

I had planned to look for work once dc start school, this is now just a few months away- will probably be part time for 6/12 months.

So my issue is if I return to my previous field of work I'd work roughly 8.30-3.30 meaning I wouldn't be able to do the school run, I'd have to find and pay for wrap around care which is pretty thin on the ground in my area and would cost a minimum of £70 a day for the 2 of them. My job role isn't a highly paid one.

I'd hate to never be able to drop them off or pick them up but I'm not sure if this is just the norm?

So how does everyone else manage the school run?

Ah you’re in literally the same position as myself. Teaching but kids in welsh school, the 9-11 thing is such a pain. Is there not a school that has a playgroup near that picks up and at least has them until 3?

Career change? Childminder, work in/set up a nursery, Teaching assistant (still need the childcare but less planning/prep time), or totally retrain??

Just go back to work and don't feel guilty about the drop offs and pick ups. You are important too, suck up the cost for a year and stop counting it as a cost only attached to your wage. It will be worth it long term. Pick up is not even the best time for a conversation with dc. Better when they are rested and fed and watered. School concerts can be videoed and researched together. First day at school is one day and not worth ruining a career over. Go back!!! I'd head to the playground one day and ask mum's like a crazy woman if they know anyone who does pick ups.

I never dropped off (DH did) and then I always picked up from after school club. We changed our working hours to facilitate this. It’s the norm for many of us.

I work 3.5 days a week. Dh shifted his hours a bit to take Dd to school 4 days, I take 1 then I pick her up 2. On the days I can't get her she has a childminder 2 days and a grandparent for 1. It's a bit of a faff but we've made it work and I don't feel guilty - I am home by 5 and have school holidays.
Don't feel bad, if you need or want to work then just do it.

Getting back into your career sounds crucial to you so just suck up the cost for as long as it takes. Realistically it will only be for a few years, if that. I know all mothers look on it as all their salary is taken by childcare but look at it as coming out of both salaries and it doesn't seem so bad! Your career is important so don't settle for part-time, low paid work if that is not what you want.

Wrap around care for a nursery child can be as expensive as for them being there all the time IME. I think that's why your childcare seems so high - it will be cheaper when the DC start "proper" school.

Have you asked at the school to see what childcare other parents use? Have you considered sending your DC to other schools (which may have better wrap around care)? Can DH take the DC to school at least occasionally?

It’s not just a cost associated with your wage, your partner should cough up for it too! It’s only a year, once they are both in school it will become inherently easier and £35 a day for wrap around care for both and an afternoon for your younger child is incredibly cheap. Even at minimum wage full time, you would still be better off by about £260 a month taking into account care during the summer holidays, you and your partner can cover 4 weeks each so you only need to find 6 weeks of care during the holidays.

@fruit it's not a case of my husband needing to cough up towards care, all our finances are joint, full time care x2 would have taken more out of the pot than my job would have brought in. Also the costs I quoted are per child per day.

The more I think about it I can't face never being able to drop off or collect so I think I'll wait until they're full time and use the time in between to possibly retrain into a more family friendly career.

Sound like you should retrain as a childminder and take on the money

Ivy so childcare from 08:00 - 09:00 and 15:00 - 16:30 is £35? That’s more than £10 an hour!

@ivy for those hours I've been quoted £18 each at one nursery and £25 at another so £40-£50 a day for both.

The £35 each is for wraparound when they start nursery school.

So are they both due to start nursery school at the same time? Or will one be in school by then?

They're twins so will be starting together. Part time for 6-12 months depending on numbers and how they settle and then full time.

This makes more sense now. Have you had a done a tax credits estimation to see if you can get help with the £70 a day?

Sorry , did you say you are in Wales? If so then when they are three you will be entitled to 30 free hours if you are both working.

@fruit I'd likely get a percentage of it paid but ime the tax credit calculator isn't reliable. There's also the issue that I wouldn't be able to pick up or drop off ever, which for me is bigger than the financial issue tbh. I started this thread to see if that's just the norm.

@howdoyou afaiks there's no date yet for the 30 free hours, it's being piloted in some areas now but no idea when it'll be rolled out.

I think it is very much the norm for when both households work x

In my circle of friends most are able to do either drop off or collection at least a few times a week, seems this is unusual.

I wouldn't feel as bad if we had grandparents to do the occasional school run so the dc wouldn't be out of the home 8-5 everyday.

So annoying that I don't have the option of doing 3 longer days and finishing earlier for the other 2.

Anyone in a family friendly job that they can recommend?

You're going to have this all again next year though, you won't suddenly become ok with doing no drop offs or pick ups because they're 4 year olds in YR.

Are you really really sure there is no possibility of flex in neither your nor your DH's work hours? That does seem unusual unless it's teaching (which IME tends to mean earlier starts and later pick ups). In my work people do this all the time. We are lucky but there's also an element that you need to ask and perhaps be a little pushy, use your legal right to request flexible working. My DH was the first in his team ever to go flex working he got it by... asking. Everyone else had just assumed it wasn't possible.

@custard definitely no flexibility in my hours and whilst dh can sometimes work flexibly for appointments etc he works away often and at short notice so we wouldn't be able to rely on him picking up as we wouldn't know until the day.

I think my 2 options are either retrain or just hold out until a 2/3 day a week post comes up which is rare but who knows I could be lucky.

Just caught up now, and am so sorry about 5-6 copies of post. Definitely time to abandon elderly laptop and get used to new one. Apologies again.