Would you go to this wedding?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

This isn't like the bridezilla-type wedding dramas you regularly see here. But the long and short of it is basically my ex partner to whom I was engaged to for a long time is getting married next month. I have already accepted the invite. She/they wanted a 'winter' wedding.
We ended acrimoniously and though things are civil now I sometimes have doubts about his motivation for inviting me.

Would you go?

He still accuses me of walking out on him and not trying to make it work. I don't know her at all. I thought I could be civil but somehow I doubt his intentions and I don't know what if anything she thinks of me.

Just be mindful he doesn't think you couldnt go for fear of heartbreak at seeing him marry someone else

Do you want to go? I think that should be your only consideration.

I am still friends with my exP. We were shit as a couple, and the split was awful, but we've kind of got things more on track as friends who chat once a week or so. We have a lot of mutual friends, and I would definitely go to his wedding (though it's unlikely he'll ever have one as he is anti-marriage). I am also friends with DH's ex-partner - I was recently her maid of honour, so I went to that one too! We regularly stay at one another's houses. It's totally cool. Relationships end, feelings change. It would only be weird if one party hadn't moved on.

"Why did they send their wedding invitations out a year before their wedding?"

Er, this is completely normal?! It's only disorganised fuckers like me who get them out only a couple of months in advance. Particularly for summer dates, it's to make sure that people aren't away on holiday.

No I wouldn't.
My ex invited me to his wedding, but only because he wanted me to look after the kids. I said no, my sister went instead as she is still friends with him. We didn't fall out, but it's just weird in my opinion

They’re fleshing out numbers.

You may well find yourself in the arse end of the venue with a draft blowing on you and served your dinner last.

I’d give it a miss.

No way. Good grief. No no no.

Your ex is trying to imply that your relationship was easy come easy go and show you he is 'so over it'. It's a childish, selfish gesture and the couple are very likely not actually expecting you hoping you won't to go, they just want to appear fashionably cool.

Keep your dignity and stay away. There's nothing for you there, to paraphrase.

I was invited to my significant ex's wedding. It was about 7 yrs after we stopped living together (for 2 years, - we were too young!) and I no longer thought of him as an ex but more of a big brother.
I accepted (though I thought he was making a horrible mistake with his choice of bride, I wished him well).
My boyfriend pulled out last min and I ended up going alone which I was aware might look a bit
But ex also invited a much more recent ex. of his. She got drunk the night before and was tearful and embarrassing thru the ceremony.
We were the '2 exes' one okay and one defo NOT!
I bought them the kingsize duvet from their wedding list. It was the only thing left I could afford on list but bride was not pleased, apparently. They divorced very acrimoniously 5 yrs later.
Ex is on his 3rd marriage now, so though I love him dearly as a friend, I dodged a bullet there.
I'd steer clear. Send a card. A cheque if you must (but why?)

Blimey, I although none of my past relationships ended (that) badly there is no way I would have invited any of them to my wedding. Deffo a short, polite message wishing them all the best and that you can no longer attend for an unspecified reason!

I wouldn’t go. He’s either trying to make up the numbers and look more popular or he’s trying to show off to you that he’s getting married and you’re not. Either way there’s nothing in it for you.

I wouldn’t go but I used to work with a woman who’s first husband was the best man at her second wedding.

They used to be fantastic friends and did loads together as a 4 sum.

I would send the message above. Short and sweet. I would also send a £20 gift card for John Lewis or something.

And then plan something lovely to do on the actual day so I didn't think about it.

I would be livid as the bride and also would absolutely not invite an ex.

Send a ‘Congratulations, have a great day’ card. Possibly a voucher but don’t make it a ‘thing’.

Right, I'm out of this then. Honestly, a part of me did think I'd be being the 'bigger' person to attend.

Fuck no. With bells on.

Don’t go. Why on earth did he invite you and why did you accept? You’re right when you say something doesn’t add up. Send a polite card wishing them well and offering your apologies that you won’t now be attending.

I'm assuming you've been apart from your ex for quite a long time? I he's happily engaged to be married, why is he still going on about your break up? That's just a bit weird. He seems to be harbouring some resentment over the way things ended between you, or maybe hes not over it. I don't think he should be getting married if he's still going on about your break up, but I'd definitely steer clear of the wedding, it just sounds a bit 'off' that he's invited you when he's clearly still bitter about your relationship coming to an end!

Honestly, a part of me did think I'd be being the 'bigger' person to attend.

I expect you are the bigger person, but you have no need to prove that to him, just to know it yourself.

If you still have a group of friends together then he probably invited you so as not to leave you out but hope you'd gracefully decline or be on holiday that date! Unless he has previous I would simply assume polite invite.

I have been to an ex's wedding and have stayed on good terms with pretty much all my exes and are friends.

Hell NO.

Ask yourself this. Would you invite an ex to your wedding? Tbh it is very odd. Personally I wouldn't go, if not for your sake then surely for his new wife.

Glad you are out of it, have you told them yet?