Would you go to this wedding?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

This isn't like the bridezilla-type wedding dramas you regularly see here. But the long and short of it is basically my ex partner to whom I was engaged to for a long time is getting married next month. I have already accepted the invite. She/they wanted a 'winter' wedding.
We ended acrimoniously and though things are civil now I sometimes have doubts about his motivation for inviting me.

Would you go?

He still accuses me of walking out on him and not trying to make it work. I don't know her at all. I thought I could be civil but somehow I doubt his intentions and I don't know what if anything she thinks of me.

Let them know you can't go. End of. If you're not going why on earth would you send a card or present ?

No don’t go. I was invited to my ex’s wedding too. He was horrible to me and I was baffled that he actually thought I’d travel to the back of beyond to watch him get married . So I said no thanks.

His wife is actually lovely though. I knew her a bit when we had just split up, (think he probably broke up with me for her), but met her again recently and she was absolutely lovely. He’s punching above his weight imo !

Aaaaanyway, I digress. I’d write an apologetic message saying ‘oh catastrophe! somehow you’ve double booked... or something. One guest did this at our wedding and we were fine with it.

No.

I invited my significant ex to my wedding.
He accepted.

Then didn't turn up on the day.
No explanation or apology.

I was actually relieved!

No

SleepingStandingUp I have met her and spoken with her but not in any meaningful way. I'm not even sure if she knows we were engaged or indeed who I was at the time. At the time our conversation centred round the out of tune band in a bar.
He and I on the other hand have remained friends or at least not enemies.

I think he's hoping he can do a "look what you could have won" so no, I wouldn't go, unless accompanying your joint children.

So will a quick whatsapp message do it?

I don't want to be drawn. Last year I did genuinely think I would go. Now I just don't want to.

Um, no. Not sure why you accepted in the first place. 'Sorry, double booked, can't make it.' The end.

I would wonder if you were actually meant to accept. It's quite likely he only sent the invite to "rub your face in it" . Either way, I wouldn't go. Too weird.

No. Hate wedding so wouldn't go unless I absolutely had to.

Hell no. Can't think of any instance when I would go to the wedding of an ex, sorry.

Why not just send a wedding card +/- a present just letting him know you can’t make it. It’s what you would send if you had been invited to any friend’s wedding. The difference being you have already accepted the invite so only polite to let them know ahead of time you won’t be there. But definitely don’t go.

I only invited my ex to rub his nose in it!
Don't go

I'd also send a "can't make it after all".

No card or present necessary imo.

Why did you accept?(if you want to say!)

Nooooo. Don't go and no, you don't have to send a present. That would be almost as off as him inviting you in the first place.

Just send a message saying "I'm not going to be able to make it to your big day after all. Have a fantastic time."

You don't need to go into any more detail than that. No fake excuses or apologies needed.

Don't go , it will all in tears if you do .

Quick text to ex, "Sorry I cant make the wedding , wishing you both a wonderful life together". Send wedding card and a nominal gift voucher (John Lewis?) and leave it at that. Don't be drawn into conversations etc ,
I am guessing he has not been entirely honest with his bride to be .

"Sorry I cant make the wedding, wishing you both a wonderful life together"
Perfect!!!
Do that. Job done.
No card or pressie or anything required either.

No. Just send them a card.

I actually would send a card and small present tbh, but I think I always overdo that sort of thing, so maybe I’m not the person to listen to!

Having said that, I don’t think I sent a present to my horrible ex... I think I sent a card. But we weren’t friends at all.

Nope.

Oh no OP I’m so sorry you can go, because you’ve got a puking bug and of course you don’t want to ruin their honeymoon.

Is he hoping you'll save him when the vicar says 'If anyone knows of any lawful impediment'? Otherwise I can't see the point of asking you.

An ex of mine asked me to his wedding and I went as his family were old family friends. I think he wanted to gloat as he got married before me and I'd dumped him, instead I just felt very relieved.

Why did they send their wedding invitations out a year before their wedding?

No, I wouldn’t go. Just tell them something unavoidable has come up and send them a lovely gift and a nice card. It’s very odd they invited you tbh.