to give up driving?

[Bumblina]

I'm a really, really nervous and poor driver.
I passed my test 18 months ago and despite numerous refresher lessons, i'm still struggling. I only do very local driving. Im in tears a lot of the time because of my crap skills and nerves.
My partner doesn't drive although he is learning. He's too lazy to come in the car with me.I don't have family nearby to practice with.
I had a lesson today and we were on a very short slip road to a dual carriageway. I couldn't see anything out of my mirrors as it was on a bend. i told the instructor 'i cant see the carriageway' and I sped up as i could see the slip ending . i narrowly avoided a car already on the DC. instructor said i should have slowed right down, but this contradicts everything else i hear about slip roads! we then went to do it again and i had to change lanes from right to left on a ring road. it was very busy and no cars were letting me in and i got very flustered and the instructor said it was dangerous as i was using my body to turn and look over my shoulder and she said that is wrong and dangerous.
if i cant do these things 18 months after passing (how on earth did i pass) should i give up?
my last resort would be to get an automatic. but who knows if that would help. I'm also getting hypnotherapy!

Practise, practise, practise. Obviously harder to do with no family around to help.

Try going out early in the morning or late at night, though it's the wrong time of year now. When there's more light have a nice daily drive at 6am for half an hour.

What kind of car do you drive?

Do you work 9 to 5 ?

Where do you live??

It's a Citroen c1 (tiny)
I live in Leeds
I learned to drive in a village 80 miles away then moved here for work

Oh and I work from home but that's likely to change early next year. No kids yet but it's on the cards.

Practice. Drive everywhere all the time for a couple of weeks. Just drive around when it’s quiet for a bit if that helps.

Keep practising. Remember that everyone was in your shoes at one time, we all have to learn. People make mistakes all the time on road, even really experienced drivers, just learn from them. Try and be confident.

I don't see automatic car as a last resort. Switch now!

When I learnt, aged 33, it never occurred to me to try in a manual.

Sorry I meant last resort as in spending more money on this whole process ! So buying an auto may or may not cure my problem but money wise it'd be my last step x

As above

Switch to an auto, have a couple of refresher lessons in one and see what a difference it makes when you don't have any gears or clutch to concentrate on

You don't have to buy an auto to try it, just find a driving school that has one available for refresher lessons and try it before you spend money buying one

Thank you. Does anyone have any tips to n dealing with short slip roads ?!

I join 9n a short slip road every day, inevitably I have to slow to 20 and wait for a gap, sometimes I even have to stop. Tou are thinking anout slip roads for motorways which is different, on those you match the speed and if you still cannot merge you use the hard shoulder briefly until you can.

Excuse the typos, feeding a baby lol

Are you having tuition in your own car?
(If it is a driving school car then people sometimes treat those differently)
You will also get some rough treatment for driving a small car. You get the last laugh though as it is peanuts to run and easy to park!
As people have said, PRACTICE!
Ditch the instructor.
Go out on your own.
Build up your confidence.
Slip roads - I slow down on approach to the slip road to see as much as I can before I even think about joining. Lots of nodding (I use my neck to look behind me, not just my mirrors!) That IS the right thing to do... joining or changing lanes!
KEEP GOING...

Can you avoid them altogether? I have managed to do this for the best part of six years. And when I was unavoidable I just avoid rush hour

I didn’t know you were supposed to use the hard shoulder till you could merge?

It was my understanding that it was for emergencies only and you could use it to merge if the signs flash and tell you to do so

Ah Leeds. Possibly one of the worst places to drive ever!
I too am from Leeds and whilst I'm a confident driver there are places I hate trying to get to!

If you want to say where exactly you are I can suggest some nice routes to build your confidence?

Please don't give out details of where you will be practicing driving on these boards, it won't be difficult to spot you and then before you know it you will have been involved in a crash for cash scam.

Are you actually having problems with your gears/clutch control? If so, you don't actually need to spend money on an automatic.

Short slip roads you definitely need to slow down if you get to the end and can't filter in, speeding up and barging your way on anyway would probably cause an accident.

Don't give up, just do as previous posters have suggested, practice practice and more practice. Start off when its quieter and build up gradually to times when there is more traffic.

Sorry, that should say if not not if so!

Perhaps I’m missing something but I’m not sure how switching to an automatic would help you with general driving (eg merging from slip roads)?

It’s hard, OP. I’ve been driving for 8 years and I don’t much like slip roads but consistently checking your mirrors is key. Also turning your head to check your blind spot but maybe not necessarily turning your entire body round iyswim.

As someone else said, it’s actually harder driving a small car like a c1 (great cars though, I had one as my first ) as people seem to think they can push you around. I find driving much easier in a Fiesta (though it’s not a big car).

Good luck!

I quit and I dont regret it. I felt I couldnt be a safe driver and didnt want to cause an accident. Its not just about practice. I can practice running but I'll never run in the Olympics either.

Lots of good advice thank you.
I'm having lessons in the instructors car so not always get treated nicely by others ! I actually couldn't find a driving instructor to take me in my own car.
The slip roads im referring to are onto dual carriageways. (I'm nowhere near ready to go on a motorway - can you imagine a nervous driver on the m62!unless it was maybe 2am!)
Anyway these slip roads are so short, even the instructor said she didn't realise how short, but they lead to 70mph carriageway, so really scary to someone like me! Plus if I did them in my car, it doesn't get upto speed quickly anyway. Instructor says I shouldn't turn head right round to look, just a tiny glance to my side and keeps telling me off for yanking my head round.i feel like I need to 'see everything' properly before joining. But today was just a disaster as the slip road ended abruptly and I went to fast (no hard shoulder).
Re gears and clutch - I'm so-so I guess. Not entirely smooth but not crazily jolty, but I thought driving an auto would help me concentrate on just steering etc.

Perhaps you should have some lessons in an automatic so all you are concentrating on is the driving, and stick with your normal car using your new-found skills.

Practice and stay focused.

My partner doesn't drive although he is learning. He's too lazy to come in the car with me.I don't have family nearby to practice with

As you've already passed, you don't need to be taking someone with you to practise with. I don't like driving very much at all, but in my experience it's much better to go out on your own so that you are forced to make all the decisions yourself and can't be asking anyone else in the car for a second opinion, or letting them get you flustered. Just drive frequently, little and often is fine if you don't want to be doing big journeys.

Agree with pp that switching to an automatic is only really likely to fix issues with gears/clutch, as you obviously managed to pass your test on a manual you must be at least ok with these!