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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you freak out when one of your DC injures themselves?

60 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 16/11/2017 12:56

DD aged 9 was having a sneaky last jump on the trampoline in the fading light this evening (we're in Oz) and DH was gardening.

DD did a last somersault and managed to knee herself in the mouth, splitting her lip....there was quite a bit of blood and DH ran in with her and he was shouting "I told you! I told you to be careful! It was dark! You were meant to be inside!"

He was panicking...I've done it too in the past but seem to have got a handle on it lately.

I made sure DD"s teeth were intact and got her a cold cloth etc and she calmed down and DH apologised to her for yelling...explaining that he was in a state of panic due to concern.

Do you freak or are you calm? My Mum once shouted at me for knocking myself out bless her!

OP posts:
DontbouncelikeIdid · 16/11/2017 13:02

I tend to stay calm, and wait to see how DC react. That said I haven't had to deal with anything too serious so far thankfully, just the usual bumps and bruises.

Original poster
MrsOverTheRoad · 16/11/2017 13:03

Apt username Don'tBounce Grin

But if you see blood....don't you panic a bit?

OP posts:
sinceyouask · 16/11/2017 13:04

No, surprisingly enough, I have been very calm and practical whenever any of the dc have had a significant injury or health emergency. Afterwards, once someone qualified and competent has dealt with them and I know they will be OK, I have generally fallen apart, but at the time I don't panic.

dantdmistedious · 16/11/2017 13:06

I panic inside - manage to keep it together on the outside. Haven’t had anything too hideous to deal with yet though - split lips mostly.

TheLegendOfBeans · 16/11/2017 13:06

I’m calm and practical in the moment.

As soon as the “event” has passed I need time out to say “FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK” very loudly and have a stiff gin.

dangermouseisace · 16/11/2017 13:07

I'm extremely calm on the outside (as noted by another mother when my son split his head open really badly). I think I can only do it because I used to work with challenging behaviour adults, so I can hide what I'm really feeling and put on a 'work' face. And I'm used to seeing injuries. I think if you're calm it helps them stay calm too. If you're freaking out then it makes them think that this is something to be worried about, and the other kids get worried too and everyone ends up in a pickle, whereas if you act like it's nothing really and it's all dealable with, even when you are thinking "fuck fuck fuck there is blood everywhere, that's a hospital job, oh my god!" then kids are reassured and it just de-escalates the situation for everyone, and adults can deal with the injured child more effectively.

Herewegoagain01 · 16/11/2017 13:07

In my head I panic, but try to stay visibly calm for the DC. No point making a fuss as it makes situation worse, especially if the injury is bad.

Uokbing · 16/11/2017 13:08

Yes I totally panic. Usually I can hide it but a couple of times I totally freaked out!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/11/2017 13:09

No the more you panic. The more it scares them.

MrsPeacockDidIt · 16/11/2017 13:10

I'm another one who is able to be super calm on the outside while I deal with the injury. I'm not phased by blood at all, haven't had to deal with broken bones (yet) but I imagine I'll be the same. HOWEVER I cannot deal with vomit at all.

Cauliflowercheede · 16/11/2017 13:12

I don’t panic. Afterwards I feel a sort of drop of adrenaline but that’s all.

LemonysSnicket · 16/11/2017 13:13

I don't have kids but remember my parents reactions. Mum was a bit shouty but generally calm and looked after us. Dad would pass out if there was any blood/ broken bones ...and him passing out would cause me to pass out. It's was a real palava

Angelicinnocent · 16/11/2017 13:14

Worst one I had was DS with dislocated elbow at 12. Got him from school, laughed and joked all the way to a & e. Sat in waiting room, talking about what lessons he was missing etc. Saw the doctor, took him for X ray and caught him when he almost passed out as they tried to move it.

It had already gone back in so no manipulation thank god, had it potted, drove him home, left him with his dad and sister and said chip shop tea.

Drove to chip shop, turned off engine and sat there crying for 15 minutes.

IsItThursdayYet · 16/11/2017 13:14

My husband is really calm, but he's working towards being a paramedic so I'd be worried if he wasn't! I'm usually ok as well, I might be in shock on the inside but it kicks me into practical mode to deal with it.

Trinity101 · 16/11/2017 13:14

I was just thinking about this exact thing today! My 2 year old DD banged her chin and bit her lip really hard last night, there was so much blood! After also checking teeth were all ok I just sat her on my knee trying to calm her down - while DH was sat next to us with a tea-towel screaming "OH GOD STOP THE BLOOD!!!"
I find it hard not to panic, it's so awful seeing them in pain (I swear I can almost feel it) but have managed to "train" myself to stay calm for her sake. Have also mentioned this to DH Smile

FlipFlopFlappy · 16/11/2017 13:16

Always very calm and not even that panicky inside. Did have a little cry afterwards when dd age 3 broke her leg.

Takeoutyourhen · 16/11/2017 13:16

My parents were and still are big panickers.
I was young and during an asthma attack my mum had to leave me to go outside to jump around the garden rather than being in control.
My sister fell down the stairs and our dad went utterly beserk. She received the care and attention from an uncle who picked her up instead of berating her.
These are examples of extreme panic or not being in control of emotions. Fast forwarding to the worst case scenario I suppose. With children involved this behaviour is absolutely damaging.
I am calm and in control of my kids have an accident. I have the hot flushes and the static noise in my head. Always better to keep in control of the situation or wing it, for the benefit of the other person.

Whatsoccuringlovely · 16/11/2017 13:16

If I am there I am generally ok.

My dd was involved in a fatal accident and we had police at the door. Embassy staff calling and for an hour we had no idea if she was dead, dying, critical or just injured. I remember running down the garden just needing to get space and air and away from the police, dh and my dcs.

After we found she was alive but badly hurt I went into ‘do your mummy job mode’

After she was home and better and recovered I went on a bike ride and just broke down. Cried and cried. That was 5 years ago and honestly no I am not over it and don’t think ever will be fully.

RockyBayEve · 16/11/2017 13:17

Bex Bailey raped at Labour party event and told to keep quiet about it by senior Labour party official.
Another reason not bother with Corbyn party.

Haudyerwheesht · 16/11/2017 13:18

No weirdly although I do feel a bit panicky when they're ill.

Dd in particular has split her lip open twice - loads of blood and massively swollen. Just cleaned her up.

RockyBayEve · 16/11/2017 13:18

Wrong thread! :o

reetgood · 16/11/2017 13:19

I’m like my Mum, I go into deathly calm (no kids yet but this is my general reaction when something horrible happens) with a fall apart when everything’s safe. Other people have commented on how calm I seem - I’m not but that’s how adrenaline seems to kick in! My sister aged 6 or 7 once fell backwards down a flight of stairs, hit her head at the bottom. Blood. Conscious but head injury. My mum got her in the car and drove to hospital, with me in the back keeping my sister calm. We went straight through at a&e (you see how quickly the system moves when you walk in with a child with a head injury!). Checked out fine, thankfully, just needed stitches to scalp. Doctor asked my mum to hold my sister’s head still, she started and then had to stop and sit down as realised she was about to faint. I held my sisters head and didn’t make the rookie error of looking...

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 16/11/2017 13:19

I don't panic, I go extremely calm. Which is good because one DC has a condition that means they have had some serious accidents, with large amounts of blood etc. I get the job done and only after the crisis is past, then I fall apart afterwards.
DH on the other hand runs around like a headless chicken wibbling, and his panic makes it sound like he is really mad at whoever hurt themselves.

reetgood · 16/11/2017 13:26

I think I’d find the panicking harder to deal with than the situation! Boyfriend is also a deathly calm type person. For those of you with panickers, what do you do with them? Find a task that takes them out of the vicinity?

Bummybum · 16/11/2017 13:27

Dh is ridiculous. It makes me Angry. I am needle and blood phobic but when it’s ds I get a weird calm about me.

Dh panics and it makes ds much worse. Dh’s sister and Mum are the same.

Dsil literally SHRIEKS whenever either of her two girls so much as bumps themselves. Honestly, the other day she lightly bumped her head and dsil started screaming at the top of her voice “we’re going to need the ER what if her skull is fractured she could die!”

It makes me want to punch her in the mouth. Her older one is now 2.5 and the second she has the tiniest bump screams and freaks out so much she throws up. It’s sick.

Dsil also takes the girls to the er and doctor for some tiny (or imagined) ailment about once every two weeks. Angry

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