Booking holiday with friend

[princesspeach21]

I am currently trying to organise a city break with a good friend of mine. It's something we've been talking about for ages and are now finally trying to plan something.

However, we seem to have very different ideas when it comes to booking accommodation. She has just sent me some screenshots of hostels (dorm rooms) which quite frankly I wouldn't feel comfortable staying in. They are also a good way out from the centre.

On other hand I would normally opt for luxury/5* hotels and would much rather stay centrally as we are only going for a few days. The only thing I can think of is to ask her the maximum she would be prepared to spend and then for me to pay the extra. I am happy to do this especially if it saves us time getting to the attractions. Does this sound unreasonable? I really cannot see how we could find a compromise and I really want to go.

Yeh I wouldn’t want an hours walk from dam sq after a few drinks tbh. There are loads and loads of hotel centrally, I can’t believe you’re having such a hard time! However, we found the city as a whole to be expensive so if you’re on a budget, perhaps consider elsewhere.

Prague and krakow were really lovely and cheap too :)

Bruges or Berlin could be fun

Or stay more local- Edinburgh or Galway

Private room in a hostel?

I don't know why people are suggesting other cities - everywhere is going to have both budget and expensive options. It doesn't solve the problem of you wanting 5* luxury and your friend wanting the cheapest accommodation available. And as people have mentioned previously, what are you going to do about food, activities, snacks, shopping???? You will want a nice dinner and a few coffees a day, your friend will want a kebab from a street booth and tap water.

Just back from St Petersburg- amazing! Cheap! Canal system!

@Fizzyknickers I am not insisting on staying somewhere mega luxurious, I had a look at some of the hotels suggested on here and they are still a fair bit more than the ones she was looking at, and a fair few of them are sold out. I would love to go to Krakow or Berlin, I think I'll have a look.

Had a look at private rooms in several hostels. Wouldn't be entirely happy staying in one, and they are not particularly reasonably priced either.

@Allthebestnamesareused I have been to Russia before, I absolutely loved it, but the whole visa process and cost are putting me off going back for a while!

@unfortunateevents you are right, that is starting to worry me now that people have mentioned it. I have no idea how to even bring it up with her but I'll be gutted if we do book something and start bickering about money when we get there aaaargh!

OP I hear you - a hostel would be my worst nightmare. A marginal step up from camping, but not much.

Agree there is a balance to be struck between hostel and the Ritz. We've stayed in Ibis and Sofitel type places before and they're OK. Not top end luxury but fine for a weekend when you're not in the hotel much anyway.

Have you said what her budget is?

@wizzywig she was looking at about £25 each per night for a bunk bed type place.

I think you are going to have to compromise. Your ideas of accommodation are miles apart. Air bnb may be the answer.

I go to the Netherlands at least once a year, and never stay in Amsterdam itself. I stay somewhere near such as Haarlem or Leiden (about 30 minutes away) and do the touristy things in Amsterdam in the day. You can still have a drink in whichever of these two places you stay in during the evening- Zaandam or Utrecht are other options.

@ForalltheSaints thank you for the suggestions. Can I ask why you prefer to stay in these places? Are the trains low cost/regular? Do you know when they stop running roughly?

Trains are regular, I think every 10 or 15 minutes (and reliable). You can have an evening out without the rowdy stag or hen dos, and find somewhere to eat and drink that is not a chain restaurant. Leiden has a lovely canal area, Haarlem the area around St Bavo's Cathedral, and Utrecht several bars by the canal. Leiden and Utrecht are university cities so plenty of life. Haarlem and Leiden have lovely spas, though cost may mean not your thing.

www.ns.nl has the train times (there is an English version).

Ah, I was in the exact same situation just a bit over a week ago, OP!

Mind you I was "your friend" in that situation. I travel a lot but can only afford to do it so often because I travel cheaply so cheap hostels are my go to place. I mostly travel on my own though, so don't really impose my personal likings on anyone ( plus I really can't be bothered with all the dramas that come with traveling with other people ) and I tend to avoid traveling with other people, especially friends, at all cost. A lot of my friends have a much higher budget than me and also seem to adopt that " let's just spend all our cash and not think about it " while on holidays as it's supposed to be the "best holiday ever" which means I am expected to spend hundreds of euros on a few days away with them when that would be my budget for 3 months of travels if I were on my own to somewhere more exotic than Europe!

One of my friends from Australia came to visit about two weeks ago and then insisted we were to travel a bit together around Europe, except she is loaded ( she works in an Hospital and make a minimum of 40$ an hour!) and I am not, her idea of the perfect euro trip was to stay in luxurious places and go out to 50€+ events most nights when mine was mingling up with other backpackers in local hostels and enjoying a pub crawl or local bars/clubs. I ended up having to compromise because she would not stay at hotels so we ended up in Airbnb's and I did resent her a bit for having been made to pay for much more than what I was willing to in the first place (not too badly as it is nice not having to share! ).

But from experience, accomodation is usually just the tip of the iceberg. Most of my friends who prefer more luxurious holidays also prefer more expensive activities/events/restaurants/ways of transportation.

If you don't agree on accomodation it is likely you won't agree on those topics either. Everytime I have made the mistake of traveling with friends I have ended up having to cash out for (expensive) things I didn't want to do because my friends really wanted to do it and really wanted me to do it with them (there is only that many times you can say "no I don't really have the budget for that" without being seen as the annoying friend that's ruining it for everyone!).

I don't begrudge people earning more than me and wanting to spend their money on accomodations they fancy or activities the really want to do but I do resent a little the people who expect me to fork out cash I don't necessarily have (or want to spend) on things I don't really want to do because they want to do it and need me to do it too to have a good time!

I think you need to speak with your friend again, talk about your expectations and so on so you can have a clear idea of what her ideal trip is.

To be fair, it doesn't sound great tbh and I would probably advice you to come up with an excuse not to go or only go for a weekend or so. Your friendship really may not survive this trip if you have a very different idea of the ideal trip and end up spending too much time with each other (especially as she is already calling you a snob!). I have traveled with a few friends of mine and I can definitely say our trips have modified our friendship. I don't dislike them but God I would never travel with them again! (and I am pretty sure they would say the same about me ().

I can't see any way that both of you will enjoy this holiday if you go together.

If you're looking at other options can I throw in Belgrade (not sure how expensive the flights would be).

Apologies if it's been mentioned upthread, but have you actually ever been away with your friend before?

Because as things stand now, it's beginning to look like a recipe for disaster. You have vastly different expectations and budgets: even if you sort out the accommodation, what are you going to do about meals, shopping, nights out, activities? Loads of compromise to be had, and you'll likely end up resenting each other. Her calling you a snob isn't hugely encouraging either.

Frankly, I'd sooner not go, or go on my own, than go with someone who has such hugely different expectations for the trip.

Long way out of the city centre? Amsterdam is tiny (lived there for two years) and has a reputation for over priced hotel accommodation, Air bnb definitely.

Just because you are friends doesn’t mean you’ll be good travel companions, especially since you have difficulty raising stuff with her. It sounds like you’re incompatible travel wise, most of my travel experience was spent backpacking and it’s really difficult, even now I have DD, to spend shed loads on a room you’ll spend most of your waking hours not in.

There’s a compromise to be had but if neither of you are prepared to move in it’s direction, then it won’t be happening.

Snob or no snob, hostels are for young backpackers or truly travel-hardened oldies.

I’d be quite tinkly-laughy with my friend but hold my ground. Bedbugs and vomity shared loos are not anywhere near most grown up people’s bucket lists.

At least you’re finding out early. If I were you I’d do a bit of a multiple-choice on the activities and food fronts while you’re at it. Backpacker food isn’t on the list either.