Booking holiday with friend

[princesspeach21]

I am currently trying to organise a city break with a good friend of mine. It's something we've been talking about for ages and are now finally trying to plan something.

However, we seem to have very different ideas when it comes to booking accommodation. She has just sent me some screenshots of hostels (dorm rooms) which quite frankly I wouldn't feel comfortable staying in. They are also a good way out from the centre.

On other hand I would normally opt for luxury/5* hotels and would much rather stay centrally as we are only going for a few days. The only thing I can think of is to ask her the maximum she would be prepared to spend and then for me to pay the extra. I am happy to do this especially if it saves us time getting to the attractions. Does this sound unreasonable? I really cannot see how we could find a compromise and I really want to go.

I've only had good experiences with AirBnb, but I have rules:

I only book places with 10+ reviews

I only book places where the star rating for cleanliness is 5

I always contact the host before I book, if they are unresponsive, or anything other than completely helpful, I don't book

I always book the 'whole property' never a room in a property

I agree with the boat comment, of you can find one fairly cheap they’re awesome!

NH Doelen would be my recommendation. Very good location, around £150 a night which might be too much but depending on what time of year you're going, you might be able to get it cheaper.

Have a look on booking.com at your dates but go on to the website of the actual hotel to see if you can get it cheaper.

Just be honest with her. Say that you wouldn't really enjoy the trip staying in a hostel, suggest a reasonably priced alternative that you would be comfortable with and if she isn't keen then suggest maybe have a day trip back home that is within budget instead.

Neither of you are right or wrong just different expectations of what a trip should be like. DH slept in the back of our car a lot when travelling around Australia such was the awfulness of many hostels!

There's nothing worse than having mismatched budgets on a joint trip so hopefully you can work out compromises before you go.

Yes, you need to have the budget conversation before you go as this will impact activities, meals out, etc as well as where you actually stay.

I went away with a friend for a weekend and it turned into a disaster because we didn't really discuss budgets before we went. We earned similar (6 figure salary) money, in fact she was earning more and had fewer commitments than me. But we had totally different ideas on budget/expenditure and it pretty much ruined the weekend. We're no longer friends and haven't spoken since that weekend.

I would definitely recommend staying in the city proper in Amsterdam and not opting for a small saving in accommodation in exchange for having to use public transport. The city is so small you can walk it easily so IMO its not worth the hassle.
When me and DP went we stayed at the ClinkNoord hostel which is right on top of the main train station (Centraal) via a 24h free foot ferry, we had a private room with our own bathroom and it wasn't too expensive. The hostel was pretty much brand new in 2015 so it just felt like a budget hotel.
Be warned with hostels that prices are per person per night not per room so it can be a bit of a false economy.

You're just going to have to come clean and admit that staying in a hostel is your worst nightmare! I have a feeling though that if her idea of a holiday is a rock-bottom budget trip and yours is a 5 hotel that your travelling styles may just not be that compatible. But yes, try to agree on a compromise. I've stayed in 1 and 2 hotels and while they're not luxurious they've always been okay. I met a friend in Amsterdam a couple of summers ago and she was staying at the 2 Hotel Rembrandt and it was actually quite nice. Would your friend compromise on something like that?

I was in Amsterdam recently. We stayed in an airbnb about ten minutes out of the centre on a tram. I would recommend not staying somewhere right in the central district because it was mobbed when we were there and rather hectic and uncomfortable. The surrounding neighbourhoods are easily accessible, more relaxed and characterful, and well worth a look.

Have you discussed other aspects of the trip with friend? if your ideas about accommodation are this far apart then maybe so are your opinions about other aspects of a city break.

I have a dear friend who I travelled with several times in my 20s but since then our travel style has gone in different directions - she is the 5 star hotel and i'm the hostel type. There is no way I would want to holiday with her now as I think there would be too much compromise for both of us. I also wouldn't want her to pay for me to upgrade to 'luxury' as I could afford 5 star but I'd prefer to spend my money in other ways.

I'd echo suggestions to try Airbnb; personally I prefer self-catering, which you can obviously find on there, but there are hotels/B&Bs too if you definitely want a hotel.

The Guardian travel section has a lot of city break stuff and often gives info for interesting-sounding hotels etc.

Is there anything wrong with staying in separate hotels? My friends and and I do this when we go on city breaks. You can still meet up for meals and drinks.

Have a look at hotels in Haarlem , only about 15minutes on the train , nice chilled out place , lots of nice shops and will probably be cheaper to stay there and commute in .

Transport in Amsterdam is fabulous. Trains are frequent and on time if commuting in is an option

A shared room with 8-12 people is not a goer but I also would not go five star. Blimey - I’d be backing away confronted with either option. Hope you can find a solution.

Errrrr...why cant you just have separate accommodation? Whats the big deal?

sunshine if I go away with someone I like to stay at the same hotel as them. Otherwise days and nights out could be more fraught with different travel arrangements, getting home safely at night etc. Especially if you are at different parts of a city. And unless it's a hostel there will probably be a single supplement for the op so she may as well then pay the extra for her friend to join her

Why not just treat her?

Why not just treat her?

I wouldn’t want to be treated-I’d be really embarrassed.

@PurpleDaisies yeah, that is what I'm worried about!

Having a look on Airbnb now, still struggling to find anything. I wouldn't be willing to share with other people or rent a spare room and the separate apartments seem quite pricey, even more than some of the hotels I was looking at

No way would I share a room with a bunch of randoms!!!

There must be a compromise. Say you can’t do a hostel but are willing to find somewhere you’re both happy with. Might mean you have to pay a bit more towards it, but I think it’d be worth it!

The Room Mate hotel in Amsterdam is amazing!!

Trying to compromise with her now, it isn't going very well

Seriously just pay her part for her. She has money worries

@sunshineinabag I just have, I said I would pay for it and she called me a snob. I don't think she wants to take me up on the offer and pay for herself, but she's going to resent me for having to spend more than she wanted.