Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to give my two year old the best Christmas ever

334 replies

mancmama1614 · 16/11/2017 10:47

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents to open. We made loads of family Christmas memories too (Disney on ice, Christmas Eve hampers, eve-of-the-eve-of-Christmas-eve presents) and I look back on those Christmases with the fondest of memories.
Now, I am in a similar position to what my mum and dad were in when they were younger; my partner earns a good salary (I am a SAHM) however we are paying off quite hefty debts from our hedonistic twenties 🙄 so we are strictly on a tight budget.
AIBU to still go what some people would class as overboard at Christmas? So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400 (don't count) but still want to get him all the clangers merchandise which will be another £150.
Added to this there will be visits to the santa train, Christmas parties at all the playgroups we go to and a winter wonderland trip.
His birthday is in January and we would like to have a big party for him and all his friends and also buy about 10-15 presents for that too.
Can I just add we aren't taking out any credit for this because I wouldn't be accepted for any anyway
All I see on Facebook and in the news are people only buying their kids one present, letting the grandparents pick up the slack or following that bloody soulless four gift rule.
Not buying for adults this year and me and my partner aren't buying for each other but we are buying for kids of friends.
Does anyone else do a Christmas like this when they are on a bit of a budget? Or any free trip ideas (ideally in Manchester) to add an extra special touch?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 16/11/2017 12:31

I wouldn't personally

Experiences are way more memorable for children than toys

that's my story and I am sticking to it

toomuchtooold · 16/11/2017 12:44

The time to go nuts, if you want to, is when they're 4/5/6. These are the years when they understand Christmas, they're going to remember it, and you can buy toys they're not going to immediately outgrow.

EightAce · 16/11/2017 12:47

Lordy. I do wonder about the piles of presents that some parents insist is necessary. Feels like the kind of thing that ends up on FB with some (not so) humblebrag post that includes #blessed.

Piles of presents are not the same as a magical Christmas, as has been said. You run the risk of your LO looking like this in future

to want to give my two year old the best Christmas ever
Abra1d · 16/11/2017 12:48

Frankly when they are teenagers and grown out of shoes and clothes every other week and need mobiles is when you need money to spend on them. Spending so much on toddlers makes no sense.

sunshineinabag · 16/11/2017 12:51

Awful.

And you didnt grow up poor.

Sorry to puncture the working class fantasy.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 16/11/2017 12:54

Grin I’m sitting here debating if a much coveted Nintendo Ds at £90 is too much for my five year old. Good grief Shock

CaveMum · 16/11/2017 12:55

Last Christmas my DD was 2.5. She had about 20 presents in total (from us and other family) to open. After she'd opened about half of them she was bored rigid and wanted to play with what she already had. We ended up putting away the other presents and giving them to her for her birthday two months later!

35 presents is far too much, and no doubt he will have dozens of other presents from your family. Rein it in, give him half of the presents for a Christmas and half for his birthday if you must but for goodness sake don't buy any more!

Oh and, just in case, FUCK OFF DAILY MAIL/SUN/METRO, etc!

IsabelleSE19 · 16/11/2017 12:57

It can't be the 'best Christmas ever' if he won't remember it.

A couple of years ago both my DC actually got bored with opening presents, and we hadn't gone particularly overboard - they just wanted to play with their stocking presents.

And the following year my 4yo got so overexcited that he made himself sick, couldn't eat Christmas dinner, and was zonked out on the sofa for about three hours. And again, he didn't have anything like the amount that you're suggesting getting.

If you really want to spend that amount of money, take him to CBeebies land or Thomas Land or something for their Christmas events.

myusernameisnotmyusername · 16/11/2017 13:02

The Christmas when dd was 2 we went a little crazy and as we wrapped them we realised we had too many. I can’t remember how many, maybe 20 and then a stocking. It took her two days to open and she’d had enough and just wanted to play with what she’d opened. We also bought her a keyboom board which we chose to save for her birthday in the February. Honestly save the clangers stuff for his birthday. He will be overwhelmed and will appreciate being able to play with what he has. I’m trying to not get carried away this year!

Ragwort · 16/11/2017 13:04

It's an obscene amount of money to spend on a child - especially if you are in debt. And if your idea of a 'tight budget' is to be able to spend £100s I think you need a reality check.

He won't remember it at 2 Hmm - be honest, you are doing it for yourself.

fruitbrewhaha · 16/11/2017 13:04

Because we all know that "stuff" makes us happy

dantdmistedious · 16/11/2017 13:09

Your parents weren’t poor if they could save that much for Christmas. Saving like for Christmas is mad if you’re poor throughout the year.

The two year old won’t remember anything anyway.

Heckneck · 16/11/2017 13:10

Yanbu to spend what you can afford on your child but YABU to put in about those parents only buying their child 1-4 presents. Personally we go for quality over quantity. My eldest is having a new bike as her main gift then two other little things. Her birthday is in January too. Youngest has got a main present and then will have one or two little ones and that's it. I despise those posts on FB with loads of gifts around. I think it's just so wasteful and most of it ends up being looked over or stuck in the bottom of the toy box.

ferrier · 16/11/2017 13:10

There's no way I would give any child that many presents.
a) s/he will expect the same every year
b) s/he will assume other children get the same
c) when s/he finds out they don't get the same he may react in undesirable ways such as bragging or genuinely believing s/he is better than them
d) it's just a bad message to send. Christmas is about family, festivities, peace and goodwill. It's not about spending four hours opening presents.

ProfessorBranestawm · 16/11/2017 13:13

I find less is more, a couple of really treasured clangers toys would honestly be much more special than endless merchandise with the same characters. I am not saying that in a judgy way as I have done exactly the same, gone mad with loads of character stuff, but it's not as special as you'd think

aintnothinbutagstring · 16/11/2017 13:14

I'd strongly suggest reading 'your debt is an emergency' blog post by Mr Money Moustache', why the hell don't you rein in your spending and clear some of your debt whilst your kid has absolutely no clue wtf christmas is? Being able to sensibly manage family finances is part of being a good parent imo.

EB123 · 16/11/2017 13:16

This has made me quite sad to be honest. Christmas isn't about a pile of presents under the tree.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 16/11/2017 13:17

Wouldn’t it be better to spend less money on presents for a 2 yr old and use some of that money to go out yourselves? Why are you martyring yourselves?
Your 2 yr old will still have a joyful look on his face if you buy him 4 presents and you can enjoy trips and go out a few times for the rest of the year.

DerelictWreck · 16/11/2017 13:17

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents

Check your privilege.

Being able to save £1000 x number of children in a year is not 'really poor'.

bgmama · 16/11/2017 13:19

Is your child Dudley Dursley?

aintnothinbutagstring · 16/11/2017 13:20

Yes, if your parents were really poor, why wouldn't you take some of that 1k per child every christmas and spend it on being 'less poor'? Madness.

filou87 · 16/11/2017 13:23

You grew up poor? OP you need to get some perspective on poverty. poverty is not having enough money to feed and clothe yiyr children, not saving for £1k of presents per child. I'm pleased you have such lovely memories of your childhood but to dress this up as 'growing up poor' is disgusting and obscene.

paddypants · 16/11/2017 13:23

And then what will you do next year to make that 'the best CHristmas ever'?

FlowerPotMum · 16/11/2017 13:23

You weren't poor growing up. £1k on a couple of kids for Xmas is not poor. I find that quite insulting.
Its selfish to say ' cardboard can be recycled' . The environmental cost is far greater than that!
Your child is 2. You are in debt. Use the money to pay off some of the debt, buy your kids a few special items and hope he will remember them two weeks later.
What happens next year? Or the year after? Or when he's a teenager?. No kids needs 40 presents. I hate the greed that accompanies Christmas. I also don't really like that daft rhyme, everything in moderation.

bettydraper31 · 16/11/2017 13:23

My daughter is also too. I think in total we will spend around £50-60 on presents. She has two so far and I will get her one more, a frozen doll.

She get bits and bobs as and when throughout the year, so there's no way I'm going overboard at Christmas. I believe she needs to savour each toy and play with each one, rather than just an unwrapping frenzy where she will open, chuck to the side and then open more.
Each to their own but I feel that's extravagant x