AIBU to define 'sex' as including oral-only activity?

[AlbaAlba]

I've asked around and some people say sex = PIV or PIA sexual intercourse only.

Most (maybe all!) lesbian women say very firmly that sex = non-PIV intimate activity.

Some people class 'sex' as oral or PIV/A.

When you hear or read that someone has had sex, what does that imply to you?

I'm a writer and trying to get an idea of the general consensus to see how my words are being interpreted by most people.

I would say lesbians aren’t having sex per se, they are simply engaging in sexual activity. ‘Having sex’ is clearly PIV/A.

I am a lesbian and yes I do “have sex”. Would also just like to point out that oral is not always lesbian womens’ “primary sexual activity” either.

In the Cambridge Dictionary Sex is defined as "unclothed genital/oral or manual contact and stimulation of genitalia often leading to penetration between two people.

Have to agree lesbians do 'have sex', having sex means different things to different groups but you can't say lesbians aren't having sex.

Are there any police characters in your book noting a statement - they should be repeating the word/s back to the person to clarify meaning and then use it back to them - “so you used the term “then he fucked me?” Can I check what you mean by that?” Looking for a very detailed explanation What did he use to fuck you? (Penis, hand, instrument) and where did he fuck you? (Pic, a, mouth, or touching other parts of body.

People (especially younger people) have all kinds of words for vagina, penis and the actual act of various different forms of sex!

To 'have sex' is piv for me.
Others are forms of sexual activity.

Steff13 It's another character referring to it afterwards, and the responding character isn't the kind to go into a detailed explanation (and it also unlikely to have jumped straight into penetrative sex, hence my issue).

The previous sex scene itself, whilst the specifics are very much implied, is principally show rather than tell. Dipped his head sort of thing, rather than he licked his way through, er, pulsating mounds of swollen flesh, or whatever the Mills & Boon version would be.

Don't worry, my head's hurting now too.

Thanks everyone. Will try to clarify somewhere in the text.