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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how enthusiastic your 13 year old ds is about school?

30 replies

believebelievebelieve · 15/11/2017 10:47

Most days my ds asks if he has to go to school that day, it's boring, blah, blah. He generally comes home in a happier mood but questions the point of learning about things he considers boring such as Oliver Cromwell, etc. I wonder if this is normal? He is doing well, teachers like him, got some nice friends, but I can't help worry that he should be enjoying it more.

OP posts:
TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 15/11/2017 10:55

Sounds similar to mine...

I think he does quite enjoy most of it really. It's just that it's compulsory that puts him off.

Namesarehard · 15/11/2017 10:59

My 14 year old son despises school. He has plenty of friends and the staff love him. He just hates school and can't wait leave.

My 13 year old daughter loves school.

End of half term is always fun in this house. 😂

lalliella · 15/11/2017 11:02

Completely normal. You know those parents that say their kids love school? Total liars! They just want to make out that little Johnny is the perfect kid.

Your DS sounds like he has a broad and questioning mind which will stand him in good stead in later life, and yes a lot of what they do at school won’t seem relevant in the eyes of a 13 year old. The most important things are in the first half of your last sentence - doing well, teachers like him, and most of all that he has nice friends.

MirandaWest · 15/11/2017 11:04

DS is 13. He likes some parts of school and tolerates others. I think he's pretty normal

Original poster
believebelievebelieve · 15/11/2017 11:05

Glad it's not just ds. My 11 year old dd also loves school and rarely moans about it. He reluctantly shuffles out the house in the morning whilst dd is practically skipping! It makes me feel sad, but I think he probably enjoys it more than he lets on.

OP posts:
Original poster
believebelievebelieve · 15/11/2017 11:07

Thanks lalliella, that' very reassuring.

OP posts:
MyCatIsPlottingToKillMe · 15/11/2017 11:23

My DS is kind of OK with it - he does what's expected, but without much enthusiasm. He says it's boring too and doesn't see the point. I think it's fairly normal.

RedSkyAtNight · 15/11/2017 11:32

When he gets home from school I ask him how his day was.

"fine" is about the top level of comment

Generally it is "boring" or "dead" or "stupid" or "waste of time" or I just get a deep sigh.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 15/11/2017 11:36

You know those parents that say their kids love school? Total liars! They just want to make out that little Johnny is the perfect kid

Depends on the child

I had one that adored school, but he was motivated and driven.

HouseOfGoldandBones · 15/11/2017 11:40

On a scale of 1 - 10, I think DS rates it at 0.

He goes through the motions, and occasionally he enjoys things (usually if something goes wrong in Science)

He likes playing football at lunchtime, and seeing his friends.

Trying to get him to do homework & test revision is an absolute chore.

DS is at private school, and the Mum's are stupidly competitive, and if I believed them I'd be really worried (every other child appears to LOVE school, LOVES doing homework, LOVES revision, and NEVER whines to go on his x-box. Load of nonsense.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 15/11/2017 11:51

He tolerates it. Obviously it gets in the way of precious time to spend messing about on his phone. 'Meh' is about the only response I get when I ask him how school was.

dailyPolitics · 15/11/2017 12:05

Mine denied vomiting because he wanted to go to school and knew he'd be kept at home. He's 13. His 9 year-old brother has a similar attitude.

You get what you pay for!

Namesarehard · 15/11/2017 12:59

You know those parents that say their kids love school? Total liars!

Not true. As I said above, my 14 year old son hates school. My 13 year old daughter loves it. Always has. Why would I need to lie about that?

FireCracker2 · 15/11/2017 13:02

You know those parents that say their kids love school? Total liars!
TBF I think as they get older and can drop some of the subjects they dislike, it does get more interesting.

PickAChew · 15/11/2017 13:02

13yo goes to school because he has to.

11yo is lost without it.

FireCracker2 · 15/11/2017 13:08

Mine denied vomiting because he wanted to go to school and knew he'd be kept at home. He's 13. His 9 year-old brother has a similar attitude.
You get what you pay for!

Sounds more like they feel guilty at missing when you have paid so much.

dailyPolitics · 15/11/2017 13:22

@FireCracker2

It's part of DH's benefits package. It doesn't cost us anything and if it did, the children wouldn't be aware.

Maths tutoring which costs a lot is a constant battle.

HTH

HaHaHmm · 15/11/2017 13:24

You get what you pay for!

Hmm
RedSkyAtNight · 15/11/2017 13:25

dailyPolitics said
"You get what you pay for"
and
"It doesn't cost us anything"

Not precisely sure what point you are making here.

I'd actually be very suspicious of a child that wanted to go to school despite being obviously ill. This would make me worry that the school were being hardline on attendance and making DC feel guilty about being off.

AnUtterIdiot · 15/11/2017 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cantspell2 · 15/11/2017 13:30

My oldest loved school from the first day to the last but he has special needs and went to a son school.
My younger son hated it from day one. Never any problems or behaviour issues and he still went everyday without trying to get out of it. But he didn’t enjoy it. He did ok in his exams nothing exceptional but enough to get him on the college course he wanted. Once in college he thrived, got really good grades and is now working in the industry he wanted.nstill very junior (he is 19) but on a good career path.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 15/11/2017 13:30

You know those parents that say their kids love school? Total liars! They just want to make out that little Johnny is the perfect kid

You want some ketchup for that massive chip on your shoulder? What a pile of wank that is.

My 13 year old ds loves school. So much so that he stays late and goes early for things like his young scientist of the year entry.
He is a perfect kid, to me.

spurtions · 15/11/2017 13:37

My 15 year old really likes school. I'm not sure I would say that he loves it but certainly enjoys it a lot he enjoys the lessons, gets on well with the teachers and has real 'banter' with some of them, enjoys all the extra curricular and he loves being with his friends. He's always ready to go back at the end of any kind of holiday.

Lily2007 · 15/11/2017 13:38

My 10 year old DS sometimes talks about wanting to blow school up so not a lot of love there. Smile

My DD has most of the time loved school and wanted to go even when ill.

Varies with the child though DS is ASD, DD is little miss (almost) perfectly behaved with a great group of friends.

Cantspell2 · 15/11/2017 13:43

School is not all about the lessons and learning so even a child who is doing well might still not like school.
When you think a child is placed in a class/ year group with a bunch of other children and the only thing they have in common is their birth year. They might be polite and get on ok with everyone on a surface level but that is as far as it goes as they little in common. So they spend 191 days a year with other children they wouldn’t choose to spend this time with.